Sunday, December 7, 2014

Cress of Striation Gym

what the metaphorical shit


This sumbitch named Cress, which isn't anything I think a man have any business being named. And his Japanese name is Corn, which is not only utterly irrelevant but also stupid as hell.

Because I mean seriously - dude looks like he got a head like Max & Cheese when they did that Shrek crossover with the blue food coloring instead of orange. Droopy goopy meatball on a stick pastaroni head.

Is he supposed to be the "cool" one? Or, god forbid, the "sexy" one? I balk at the very idea. Ladies  in the audience, back me up on this one - would you want this dopey Dr. Suess-ass piece of shit serving you wine and parfaits and biz? I wouldn't. I'd punch him in the face, or maybe give him the Stone Cold Stunner.

I also hate his pose, "did I do that?"-style bullshit, get out of here, man. There's no way anyone gave this loon control of a gym. Actually, the reason they all share the gym is probably because it takes three of them to do the job of a normal human being.

If I had to pick two words to describe the abomination I see before me, they would be ABSOLUTE and ASS.


Overall: 1/10

2 comments:

  1. Great, you're done with those nutjobs! Now to do the badge, I guess, and better things to come in the future :)

    I'm also looking forward for your continuation of mega-evolution reviews!

    - Juvar

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  2. "droopy goopy meatball on a stick pastaroni head" is a phrase that has lived in my mind for 9 years

    ReplyDelete