Friday, January 8, 2016

Team Flare of Kalos

I forgot about these dudes. I legit thought I had finished. I just came back because I realized I ought to do that new Legendary, and maybe Zygarde's forms, and WHOOPS the kick-ass Team Flare was sitting in the corner all dusty-like! C'mon fellas, up and at 'em!


oh wow I love these fabulous motherfuckers. For a team based on "style", they certainly fit the bill. I love the boldly colored suits, that match perfectly with their hair and sunglasses. I like how they're wearing the same exact costume, the girl doesn't get forced into a mini-skirt, but gets to rock the same uncomfortably-tight pants that the guy does. The belt buckle feels a tiny bit large, and the logo could use work, but those are minor issues and have more to do with Flare as a whole, than these two hip cats.

Grunts: 10/10

These are basically the best "official" images I could get of the admins, and it's a damn shame, because these guys are somehow EVEN BETTER than the grunts. I mean holy shit do you see that male admin's cue-ball shine? his sunglasses, head, and suit are all exactly the same amount of shininess, and that amount is DAZZLING. Meanwhile, the female admin is rocking the "I get shit done" hair, and both of them are popping their collars something fierce. I love how they have gold belt buckles, to show they're a step up from the silver of the Grunts. They look classy, like high-powered Triad members from a planet where Red is the only color that exists aside from monochrome.

Admins: 10/10


Mable is the one with the spats and the hoop hair. Bryony is the one with the green hair and the maxtrix glasses. Aliana is the one with the yellow leggings and indecent posture. Celosia is the one with the shoulder pads and the optic blast. Remember that now.

Anyway, these ladies don't really fit with the previously established theme, bringing in a pit of techno-punk, but at least they keep the design principles the same. Red is still the primary color, with white or black accents. I like how each one gets their own color, thouogh I could do without the gold kneepads. Giving them all visors (and unique visors at that!) is a cool idea, as is the way their costumes are made up of similar elements, but combined in different ways.

With that said, what are their unique strengths and weaknesses? Mable has dumb hair, but I like the shoulder pads. Bryony's color compliments the red very well, and I like how she's wearing short shorts. Aliana has dumb leggings, her color isn't contrasting enough, and her visor doesn't make any sense unless her eyeballs are oriented vertically. Celosia is pretty much perfect except for that dollop of gold on her knee.

Mable: 7/10    Bryony: 10/10    Celosia: 9/10    Aliana: 5/10


Xerosic is technically a scientist like the rest of those girls, but I think he deserves his own paragraph. First, note that this dude came here straight from doing some freaking science, he's still got his sleeves rolled up and one glove on, the other crammed into a pocket. You disturbed him from his Important Research, you imbecile. Maybe it was on skin care, because he's looking a little... dead. In any case, he's still dressed to the Team Flare Dress Code (RED ALL THE TIME), and I dig his goggles and weirdo hair. He manages to look both like a scientist, or at least a technician, as well as vaguely sinister. Odd that he doesn't wear the team's logo, though. It's not much of a logo, but c'mon.

Xerosic: 9/10


Now the big man himself, Lysandre. Cool name, large hair, inscrutable plans, and bafflingly allowed to walk around and sit in public cafes in broad daylight despite being a known terrorist who gloats about destroying the world. I have an affinity for big fluffy fur collars, so he's got one there. Also keeps the general boss theme of subverting the normal team colors - he's still in red, black, and white, but this time black takes the fore-front. Combined with the Grunts and Admins, they would make a nice set. His suit is sharp, his hair is lion-esque, and maybe only slightly too over-the-top. I'll say he ought to wear his own logo, though. And it's a pity he doesn't have a belt buckle encrusted with diamonds to show he's the Top Dogg, but whatever. Still a very solid ensemble. You can see where the rest of the fashion sense comes from.

Lysandre: 9/10



Team Flare just goddamn rocks when it comes to their outfits, let's just make that abundantly clear. These guys look organized, coherent, villainous, and fashionable as hell. At the same time, their goals are both simple and stupid - they want to get rich doing crime things, and everybody who gets in the way can take a suck. I think the last time we had such an honestly evil team was Rocket, so that's long-welcome, after a parade of bizarre eco-terrorists and well-intentioned extremists. But Lysandre had some crap ideology about "eternal beauty" and there was this ancient Pokemon-king, and somehow a crystal... I dunno, it all seems like a dream, now. What the heck was the plot of XY, anyway?

Oh, and their logo is supposed to look like a flaming F, but the lower part isn't pronounced enough and it just looks like a lick of schwoop.


Overall: 9/10