Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Ramos of Coumarine City

Kill la Kill this ain't


Seriously tho, what's up with those scissors. It looks like he had regular ones, but then put gigantic handles on the ends - while still maintaining the original handles. I don't think you can use them now, except as novelty garden sheers. Though perhaps that's the point. Oh, and he has a holster for his scissors, because of freaking course he does.

He also appears to have tendrils coming out of his chin, because I'm pretty damn sure that isn't hair. it's the same exact color as his skin, and there's no line break or anything - he's just got face-feelers. Mandibles, perhaps? Antennae?

Other than that he's a little old gardener man, with a nice little badge. This badge is actually probably my favorite thing about him - I don't think he's particularly cool, like some of the other old man badasses we've seen. He's just pleased as punch to be in a video game, bless his little heart. But I've never been one to respect my elders.


Overall: 3/10

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Korrina of Shalour City

Not to be confused with a similarly-named Avatar.

I like roller-blades, as a design. I find them impossible to handle in real life, and the people who wear them insufferable, but in the world of fiction they're always cool. Jet Set Radio represent, yo.

Also, kudos to Korrina for not only wearing a helmet, but managing to make it look cool (another impossibility in the real world. Everyone looks dorky in a helmet. Even Tony Hawk looked like a goober) Her hair spilling out of those holes helmets always seem to have in them is a nice touch.

It's also sort of nice to have a Fighting gym leader who wasn't straight up martial arts-oriented. Not all Fire leaders are firefighters or arsonists, and not all Ice leaders are... whatever ice-related professions there are. Ice Sculptor? Eskimo? In any case, she's athletic and spunky and that still conveys the idea of what Fighting types are all about. Her coloring suggests it too, for some reason - even before we knew her gym, I saw the artwork and thought "Fighting specialist."
The badge is a little odd, though - is that shadow? it's going the wrong way. A fist bump? they seem to be missing by several feet. An enemy fist? m-maybe?? I'd have liked it more if it were just the simple, single classic boxing glove.


Overall: 7/10

Monday, January 26, 2015

Grant of Cyllage City

It took forever to reach this guy. What was up with the pacing in XY, anyway?

this dude has candy stuck in his hair. That's the only thing I can think of. I know they thought it would be a rock climbing reference, but holy shit it just looks like he laid his head down on some sticky candies and got them stuck up there, and hasn't figured it out yet. It's something a Rugrats character would do.

That aside, he's got a gigantic bike clip hanging from his neck. Shouldn't that be, you know, clipped to something? is that part of rock climbing? do you tie a rope around your neck and then clip it to the mountain? that seems unsafe. But so does the very idea of rock climbing, so what do I know.

I do know that Grant is another leader who looks like a basic trainer. He's not even giving a damn about the battle, he's busy climbing. c'mon, man. At least act like you care!

The badge is pretty plain, and reminds me of modern art. It could just as easily stand for wood, as for stone. In the end, while I don't feel great hatred for him, there's not a single thing I actually like about Grant. Really felt like a let-down after waiting so long for that second gym.


Overall: 1/10

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Viola of Santalune City

Another Bug gym leader? And actually a girl this time?

Viola is an early-game gym leader, so that excuses this slightly, but she really doesn't look like the leader of anything. "Photographer Viola" is what I'd expect to see when I battle her.

That aside, it's a nice enough design. I feel like that little band of midriff is what really sells it, though that could just be personal preference coming to the foreground. But hell, this whole site is built on the fundamental principle of personal preference! So I'll say what I like.

You might have noticed I skipped the badges in the last gen's gyms. That's because they were all awful and I didn't care for any of them. I hate that vertical style. the Kalos badges are a little more... uneven in style, as opposed to the "will fit nicely inside a square" pattern the early regions used, but they're at least worth mentioning. This one is a beetle. It's green and brown, and is a nice non-fruitcake substitute for that ladybug-ass badge Bugsy was giving away.

Viola still needs a little more to look like a "leader", though.


Overall: 4/10

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Alder of the Unova Elite Four

Akuma's good twin

They both have similar red hair, tan skin, and wear ragged pants with sandals and a necklace of oversized balls. Except Akuma dresses in black, and Alder in white. And a poncho really isn't anything like a karate gi, so there's that. Just an interesting design coincidence, I think.

I like Alder a lot, though. Like Akuma, he's wild. He's a traveler, a pilgrim, a wanderer. Going from town to town, healing the hearts and Pokemon of everyone he meets. Also he's got an actual backstory, going along with the Gen 5 theme of attempting to flesh out the NPCs a little more - he used to be blindly chasing power, but then his Starter died and he had to reconsider his entire life-view.

With all that said, I think his two-tone hair is stupid and too large. There, I said it.


Overall: 8/10

Friday, January 23, 2015

Caitlin of the Unova Elite Four

the widest trainer portrait of all time?

Possibly! Her hat is also ponderously huge - don't let her hair trick you, look at how wide her face is, and then at the hat. That's insane! Also insane is the fact that she has levitating hearts holding up the edges of her hair, like Snow White's bluebirds or something.

In any case, she's a Psychic-type user, but I think that's only because Fairy wasn't invented yet. She strikes me as a sort of Russian fairy tale princess dealie. Which sort of overlaps when Iris becomes champion, because now you have two girls in pink dresses taking up a ton of space, but eh.

Interesting to note, is that she actually appeared in Platinum!

Her hair wasn't as ludicrous back then, and she looks significantly younger, too. I'm sure this is helpful for those of you putting together the Official Pokemon Game Timeline. Me, I think she Mega Evolved.

And despite the fact that I called her "insane" several times, I don't hate that about her. Dat Godiva hair, yo.


Overall: 6/10

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Grimsley of the Unova Elite Four

Loki up in this bitch

How come he got a chair, though? Is that allowed? Followup question - is it allowed just because he's a dracula? Because he's clearly a dracula. Either that or someone's humanization of a Honchkrow. Or maybe he's Kaiki from Nisemonogatari.

In any case, he's got a stylish suit and doesn't wear socks. The former is cool, the latter bothers me for some reason. Like, did he forget them? won't his ankles get cold? Or is he an undead monstrosity whose blood runs cold already, so he doesn't care?

You really can't go wrong with a red-and-black suit when you want a character to look Dark, so Grimsley delivers on that regard. And I think the yellow scarf gives him a little touch of uniqueness, setting him apart from other characters with similar designs.

So Gamefreak is obviously capable of creating awesome Dark-type Elite Four members, so why can't we get a Dark gym already!?


Overall: 10/10