Monday, July 21, 2014

Mega Evolution No. 28: Lucario

I think this might be the first time in a while I've actually gotten the number I was on correct on the first try


Everyone's favorite jackal-mma-hadouken-dog returns with a Mega form! Which, in this case, means it has odd rust-colored tips to everything, possibly to simulate how it GETS ITS HANDS AND FEET DIRTY WITH THE BLOOD OF ITS ENEMIES but really just looks like it's been playing in shit.

also don't forget even MORE spikes in awkward places. Poor thing looks like it just crashed through a glass window and has shards all stuck in it.

and, naturally, thick black lines just generally going everywhere and making an already complicated design even more visually confusing and noisy.

Just about the only thing I like here is the dreadlocks being all wavy in the wind. Lucario wasn't even that good, yet got pushed hard by Pokemon Company for some reason, so the least you'd think they could do is actually give him a good Mega.


Overall: 3/10

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Mega Evolution No. 26: Garchomp

oh, screw me...

Remember how I said Garchomp was kinda cool, but overdesigned and messy? Well, when Gamefreak read that post (and you know they read NAPACE let's be real here) they must have mis-translated it and said that I thought it didn't have enough spikes, blades, or patches of color.

Because christ if they didn't do just that. They took a design that was already ratcheted up to 11 and cranked it up a few more notches. It's at 14 or so right now. They actually had to get a second amp to measure it on, like how when you're counting on your fingers and go above 10 and have to start using toes.

I really don't know where to start with this one. No matter where I look, something inane and unsafe is happening. Garchomp was already a safety hazard, but Mega Garchomp wouldn't be allowed within forty feet of a public building. It has 20 spikes, that's right, 20 of 'em. All along its chest, arms, and legs. Some of them are red! just like it's gigantic hand-scythes.

Don't forget the head, doing its best Battleship Yamato impression, a shark tail sticking out as a weird reminder of what it once was, when the world made sense, and random lines just thrown in for good measure. Oh, and don't worry, it has a splotch of yellow on its belly still. Jesus.

Mega Garchomp is what happens when you give a Godzilla movie an actual budget, it's like two Gigans fused together and mixed up with a Great White Shark and a Piranha. I can't over-exaggerate how crazy this thing is, because it will always be exactly that crazy.


Overall: 14/10

Monday, July 14, 2014

Mega Evolution No. 25: Absol

lookin' pretty scene, Abby.

This would be a case of "you just glued shit to the old Pokemon", except that there's just so MUCH new shit. And most of it looks pretty natural and good.

I dig the hair tufts on the legs, and on the chest. The wings look really soft and feathery, much like the hair. And the tail spike looks like a bat wing or something, contrasting with the angelic wings, which goes back to the Yin/Yang idea. So that all ties together nicely.

the uneven horns and hair over one eye are hella deviantart, though. But I guess that was always sort of Absol's deal. And of course, it's supposed to look like a yingyang or whatever. I can deal with it.

I think this Mega is fairly unique in that it could easily stand on its own, if Absol hadn't existed. It looks like a complete product all to itself. so that's worth something, I guess. I still maintain that anyone who has Absol as their favorite Pokemon invariably has horrible taste in music and boyfriends, but that's besides the point.


Overall: 8/10

Friday, July 11, 2014

Mega Evolution No. 24: Banette

3spooky5me

Giving me some Soul Eater vibes here, know what I mean? all dem zippers and things coming out of them and shit. I can't decide if they're fingers or tongues, and I'm not sure which distresses me more.

This is a nice evo, actually. Banette always stuck me as being kinda lackluster, so pushing things further works well. It obviously evolved from Banette, and has an interesting club-esque physique.

Prankster is a good ability, too, which makes up for its non-amazing stats. Basically it gets to go first. How it actually works is more complicated than that, but that's the gist of it for all my fellow "non nuclear physicist" types out there.

Again, I like this one so much, and Banette is only a two-stager, I wish it had just been an evolution.


Overall: 9/10

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Mega Evolution No. 23: Manectric

oh, for the love of...

No. No, no, no, and NO.

What did Manectric ever do to deserve this, huh? It was a mediocre Pokemon, but now it's got... this. A goddamn freaking lightning bolt with legs. This is like something a four-year old would come up with. a stupid four-year old.

the only positive thing I can say is that it keeps the colors. Otherwise, it's garish and outright ugly. unbalanced, tacky, there aren't really any positive words I can use to describe this one.


Overall: 1/10

Monday, July 7, 2014

Mega Evolution No. 22: Medicham

we Asura's Wrath now

Okay, first up, I LOVE this design. I'm a big fan of extra arms, as well as floating-but-act-like-they're-attached pieces, turbans, and those puffy pants. Mega Medicham looks like a goofy-yet-badass spellcaster in some Arabic RPG, it's really cool.

But damn if it isn't a Pokemon, right? That shit is crazy busy. Arms and dongles dangling left and right.

At least that's my first reaction. It's very humanoid, but then again, so was Medicham. And it actually retains the same body structure, just added more clothes and those arms. Even the debatable racially insensitive lips are still there! color scheme is also intact, merely added blue.

I think, if the blue beads were gone, and its turbans didn't look like it was trying to fly away, this would be a 10/10 amazing design. And as it is, I like it, but I'm going to have to dock points for looking like a Dragon Quest character.


Overall: 8/10

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Mega Evolution No. 21: Aggron

yo did this guy just straight-up turn his cap around backwards? that all he did? sheeeeeeit

Aggron dropped his Rock typing, which is interesting. You don't see Pokemon drop a type that often. He also gained Filter, so as to make Super Effective things not so effective. I guess they realized that Rock only served to give the poor guy more weaknesses, huh? and since his Def is so damn high, really it's only special Fire moves that have a chance anymore.

But as for the design, I don't really care for it. A little more spikes, a little more plates, eh. I'm struggling to come up with an opinion on it one way or the other, but I guess it just feels too busy for how simple it ought to be? Like, he's all basically one color. But he's got all these interlocking plates and shit, but I just don't care. My eye gets bored trying to figure out how he works and it gives up, that's the best I can come up with.

I give him credit for being another "this Pokemon needs help, let's help it" case, though.

Overall: 5/10