Friday, May 29, 2015

The Best (and Worst) Electric-Types

Now with facny-pants links, so you can go and check out to see if I'm lying or not!

There aren't many Electric types, but there are plenty of great ones. It was kinda hard to put the top three of this one in order, actually. I love Galvantula and Luxray for being cool and badass, but Joltik is just the cutest thing this side of Chii's Sweet Home. In the end I gave it to Galvotron for having the coolest name.

10. Heliolisk
9. Mareep
8. Heliolisk
7. Chinchou
6. Pikachu
5. Elekid
4. Raikou
3. Joltik
2. Luxray
1. Galvantula

You'll notice that about half of this bunch of dim bulbs are just Pikachu knockoffs, like those cheap Chinese shit you find in the Dollar Store. That ain't a He-Man action figure, it only has two points of articulation and he has a gun instead of a sword. And the package says "Legendy Hero's". Where am I going with this? I don't know.

Thunderus is bringing up the rear because while his normal form is awful, his other form is somewhat better. He still averaged out to be bad, of course.

10. Thunderus
9. Magnezone
8. Pichu
7. Magneton
6. Plusle
5. Mega Ampharos
4. Minun
3. Stunfisk
2. Dedenne
1. Mega Manectric

Thursday, May 28, 2015

The Best (and Worst) Water-Types

There are a ton of Water Pokemon. And one of the biggest failings of the Hoenn region was being full of water, but only filling it with Wingull and Tentacool. If I'd been able to meet these fly homies, I wouldn't have overdosed on repel so much. It's also kinda interesting to go back and see what grades I gave things, I'm surprised that the Gen 1 dudes aren't all higher, but I guess I came into it with the right mindset from the start. If I'd done it in reverse order, you can be sure I'd have inflated all their scores. Squirtle only got 7/10 and he's like my #1 nig, for crying out loud.

Well, I guess he isn't, or else I'd have rated him better. But as a top 10, I really like the look of this.

10. Kaputops
9. Chinchou
8. Gyarados
7. Wooper
6. Poliwhirl
5. Sharpedo
4. Quagsire
3. Kingler
2. Blastoise
1. Starmie

On the flip side, we dive deep and pick up a bunch of crap that should be thrown back in. It starts with the ugly sacks of shit, but then gets deeper and darker with just plain boring and pointless bland fish. The kind that you gotta slather with Tartar sauce to get any kind of flavor. And it reaches the Marianas Trench of Crappy Water-Types with Phione. Bleghch.

10. Alomamola
9. Palpitoad
8. Huntail
7. Mega Slowbro
6. Barbaracle
5. Whiscash
4. Barboach
3. Finneon
2. Feebass
1. Phione

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

The Best (and Worst) Fire-Types

Now this was a pleasure and a pain at the same time. For being one of the cornerstone typings, there's not actually that many Fire Pokemon. And yet there's so many excellent ones. I felt like the owner of the inn in the nativity story, my rooms are so booked with AAA-list celebs that I can't even spare a queen-size for the Son of God himself.

10. Rapidash
9. Houndour
8. Darmanitan
7. Torkoal
6. Entei
5. Magmar
4. Charizard
3. Typhlosion
2. Chandelure
1. Blaziken

And on the flip side, there's not even that many bad ones! So few, in fact, that I felt like I would be reaching into honestly decent Pokemon if I did a full bottom 10. So here's the bottom 5 instead. Reshiram takes home the prize for being the only 1/10 irredeemable turd of the Fire family, while the rest smolder along close behind.

5. Delphox
4. Magmortar
3. Tepig
2. Chimchar
1. Reshiram

Sunday, May 24, 2015

The Best (and Worst) Grass-Types

I don't think of myself as a big fan of Grass-types, but this top 10 is almost entirely 10/10s. Though again, it's almost entirely dual types, so expect some of these guys to appear again later.

10. Oddish
9. Pumpkaboo
8. Tropius
7. Roserade
6. Shiftry
5. Abomasnow
4. Chikorita
3. Simisage
2. Torterra
1. Cacturne

As for the worthless weeds, it turns out that starting your name with a "ch" is a really good way to get on my shitlist. I don't feel as much hate for these as I do some other Pokemon, it's more like intense apathy. Would the world even notice of Cherubi and Cherrim were wiped from existence?

No. No it would not.

10. Gloom
9. Chesnaught
8. Petlil
7. Paras
6. Skiploom
5. Sceptile
4. Parasect
3. Cherrim
2. Chespin
1. Cherubi

Friday, May 22, 2015

The Best (and Worst) Normal-Types

Finally! It's here! The older posts are fully cataloged for easy searching. Which means I can begin the endgame, starting with Normal types.

First off, let me come right out with it - I don't like Normal types. I don't see the point in using a whitebread Pokemon that can't even get Super-Effectives on anyone. Sure, it has STAB Normal moves, but Normal moves are boring af. I'm playing magical digimon rock paper scissors, dammit, I wanna throw some fire or thunder or something.

With that said, my top 10 Normal Types are as follows:

10. Porygon
9. Slaking
8. Snorlax
7. Heliolisk
6. Delcatty
5. Exploud
4. Mega Kangaskhan
3. Skitty
2. Braviary
1. Arceus

However, it's worth noting that out of these, only the top 4 were 10/10s. I'm sure that for some types, the list will be almost all 10's. But we start having to reach into 9s and 8s pretty soon, when you're talking about Normies. And I'm aware that Arceus can be any time, which makes him at the top kind of ironic - part of the reason I think he's so great is that he can freaking stop being Normal-type.

As for a bottom, 10, oooh baby, will this be hard. Because there's just so many to choose from.

10. Pidgey
9. Purrugly
8. Ambipom
7. Linoone
6. Happiny
5. Bidoof
4. Staraptor
3. Unfeazant
2. Azurill
1. Dunsparce

Really, was there ever any doubt? The King of Crap himself reigns supreme at the bottom of every list I can think up. Also, I decided to just let Staraptor and Unfeazant speak for their entire lines, because otherwise I could have filled an entire bottom 10 with normal/flying catastrophes. Also interesting to note - Pidgey, the original "this Pokemon sucks wow", is just hanging on there at 10. It kinda shows what kind of putrid pukes have come out since, that Pidgey doesn't look all that bad now, does it?

haha just kidding Pidgey is still freaking awful

Friday, May 15, 2015

In case you were worried...

I'm not dead, or stopped. It's just that my computer finally crapped out on me and I had to take the poor girl out behind the shed and cap her like Old Yeller.

NAPACE isn't finished, I still want to get around to revisiting some... controversial ratings, talking about Fairy Type, doing a "best of " for each type, etc. I'm also going back and making sure the images are still linked properly, and adding in the type tags, because most of the 4th and 3rd gens are missing them.

So yeah, bear with me for a bit, okay? Kinda sucks to lose the momentum like this, coming off of the most-viewed month NAPACE has ever had, but whatever. It's not like I make money off this thing, I just do it for you guys.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Mega Evolution no. 46: Audino

Would you like to make a contract?

Awww, look! It's got a little stethoscope! And a cute lil' labcoat! And cute lil' booties!

Mega Audino is almost too cute, for real. It's one of those Megas where I wish it could just be the regular evolution. But also isn't it pretty freaking stupid that they had to give a Mega to something from the 6th gen? like, you couldn't make it good enough already? It's like the most convoluted balance patch ever.

But yeah, I like it. Mega Audino really runs with the "doctor" theme, much more than Blissey or Chansey ever did, who just remained big fluffy eggs. Audio is fluffy and egg-shaped, but as you can see, it has curly tendrils and ears and shit, so obviously it is superior.

Overall: 8/10