Monday, August 18, 2014

The Worst Gen 6 Pokemon

There weren't that many Pokemon, so you'd think there wouldn't be that many Wretched Ones. You'd be correct, but somehow the ones presented here are just SO wretched, it isn't even funny. Well, maybe a little funny. But seriously, for once I had to think about who I wanted to give the lowest spot to, there was actual competition for it.

10. Skrelp
9. Swirlex
8. Scatterbug
7. Carbink
6. Chespin
5. Binacle
4. Barbaracle
3. Zygarde
2. Dedenne
1. Klefki

And if I'd been adding in Mega Evolutions, you can be sure Aerodactyl and Manectric would've taken top 5 spots. I still don't know what was going on with those two. Mercury in the tea, perhaps? A Gypsy curse? Momentary madness? Sunspots?

But enough about me, who do you despise and wish gone from the world? If anyone says Aurorus I'm going to break their kneecaps.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

The best Gen 6 Pokemon

Pretty slim pickings for 10/10 all-stars this time around. But I think that's partly because there was just so little material in general, there are proportionally a nice number of great Pokes to pick.

10. Hawlucha
9. Heliolisk
8. Talonflame
7. Honedge
6. Pangoro
5. Pumpkaboo
4. Clawitzer
3. Pancham
2. Aegislash
1. Aurorus

I didn't pick any Megas, just because I feel like I ought to recognize the true Gen 6 Pokemon instead of powered-up forms from older gens. As for how these new guys stack into my grand total cumulative top 10...

1. Haunter
2. Heracross
3. Scyther
4. Cofagrigus
5. Machamp
6. Blaziken
7. Galvantula
8. Aurorus
9. Pinsir
10. Cacturne

Eh, not much changes. I really like Aurorus, and I know it looks out of place on that list. Are you hating? Whatever, just Let It Go.

6th Gen Summary

You know how sometimes you move to a new place and then you can't get internet until those people who give you internet finally show up and hook up your shit and give you internet? And sometimes it takes like over a week for this to happen for some reason? I know all about that sort of thing, is what I'm saying.

Anyway, without further ado, (and Lord knows there's been enough already), let's wrap up the 6th gen proper.

The 6th gen averaged out to 5.8 / 10, though if you count the Megas it's down to 5.6 / 10. These numbers seem reasonable. The thing was, while there were some really stupid little turds, there were a lot of dudes sneaky away with 7/10 "it's okay" rankings. And of course being the smallest generation by far, there just wasn't enough room for Gamefreak to litter the halls with bad ideas. Mainly, Megas. I'm worried for the Ruby and Sapphire remakes, because I already see new Megas being announced, and most of them are hideous holy crap. Though it seems to be tradition at this point, for the even-numbered gens to give more evolutions to past Pokemon, the quality of these post-volutions is going lower and lower.

Gen 2 gave us Kingdra, Scizor, Steelix, that sort. Gen 4 coughed up Weavile and Electavire, but also Magnezone and Rhyperior. And Gen 6 overflows with poor Megas.

As for my final thoughts on the game, it's a mixed bag, really. I thought the 3D was cool, until I realized that Gamefreak is bootysweat when it comes to optimizing their code. There's no excuse for the overworld being in 2D, and dropping crazy frames when in battle. On the other hand, moving in full 360 degrees of motion finally feels great, but I'd like them to maybe move away from the tile system? Can't we have a fully controllable camera and stuff, and irregularly-shaped pieces of terrain? I don't want a revamp of everything, stick to random battles and turn-based combat and all that, no need to make it multiplayer, but I'd like a little more freedom of movement, now that I've had my first taste.

the rest of the game felt the same way. I like customize-able clothes, but there aren't nearly enough options. I liked the amount of Pokemon available in the wild, it's actually a really staggering amount, but the pacing feels really uneven as a result of all those extra route in the early game. I like the idea of a bunch of rivals, and the characters in the game actually having character and recurring instead of being confined to their town's arc, but none of your rivals were actually interesting or posed the slightest threat, and the story was worse than B/W.

Oh well. I'm still excited for ORAS, and the eventual XY2 or Z or whatever. Best/Worst pokemon incoming soon, I promise!


other regional scores, for reference:
Gen 1: 6.2
Gen 2: 5.8
Gen 3: 6.1
Gen 4: 4.8
Gen 5: 5.4
Gen 6: 5.6

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

End of the line?

No, not quite. I'm not done yet. For one thing, there are a few legendaries yet to be released, and Mega Evolutions as well. Plus I'm sure the Ruby and Sapphire remakes will bring a new batch of Megas for me to look at.

Thing is, while I can look at pictures of their designs, instead of jumping the gun I'd rather just wait for them to come out officially, so I can get an in-game feel for them and whatnot.

Besides, this way I still owe you all something, and I know my work isn't finished. It's a guarantee I'll come back, in a way.


BUT WITH THAT SAID, I'm not planning on actually "going" anywhere. I'm going to do some of that stuff I talked about last time I mused about the future, such as finish up reviewing the gym leaders and all that.

However, I will say that you should expect things to chug along about as slow as they have been these few months. The dream of daily updates is long gone, blogging's a young man's game and I'm a graduated Official Adult now. So if you get three updates a week, that'll be lucky.

again, thanks to all the readers of NAPACE! and keep reading, there's still work to be done.


PS - the best/worst of gen 6 will come soon

Mega Evolution No. 28: Abomasnow

And at last we come to the end of the officially released Mega Evolutions.

And we get to end it with a bang, Mega Abomasnow looks like every fiber of his body is in the process of getting the hell away from every other fiber of his body.

Seriously though, I love the texture of his "fur" or whatever. It not only makes an easy 3D model, but looks distinctive. Aside from that, he's just a bigger and badder version of Abomasnow. More fur, bigger arms and legs, and also twin pylons of ice or whatever sticking out of his back.

That's cool, to me. They even have a precedent, regular Abomasnow has some trees straight up growing on his back, too. I suppose I'd prefer these columns to be a bit smaller, though, he looks somewhat off-balance when standing upright.

But he's still a ferocious beast, who even gave up some speed so he could put more points into offense. which works great for the guy, because with Avalanche he wants to go second, anyway.


Overall: 9/10

Monday, July 21, 2014

Mega Evolution No. 27: Lucario

I think this might be the first time in a while I've actually gotten the number I was on correct on the first try
are you freaking kidding me


Everyone's favorite jackal-mma-hadouken-dog returns with a Mega form! Which, in this case, means it has odd rust-colored tips to everything, possibly to simulate how it GETS ITS HANDS AND FEET DIRTY WITH THE BLOOD OF ITS ENEMIES but really just looks like it's been playing in shit.

also don't forget even MORE spikes in awkward places. Poor thing looks like it just crashed through a glass window and has shards all stuck in it.

and, naturally, thick black lines just generally going everywhere and making an already complicated design even more visually confusing and noisy.

Just about the only thing I like here is the dreadlocks being all wavy in the wind. Lucario wasn't even that good, yet got pushed hard by Pokemon Company for some reason, so the least you'd think they could do is actually give him a good Mega.


Overall: 3/10

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Mega Evolution No. 26: Garchomp

oh, screw me...

Remember how I said Garchomp was kinda cool, but overdesigned and messy? Well, when Gamefreak read that post (and you know they read NAPACE let's be real here) they must have mis-translated it and said that I thought it didn't have enough spikes, blades, or patches of color.

Because christ if they didn't do just that. They took a design that was already ratcheted up to 11 and cranked it up a few more notches. It's at 14 or so right now. They actually had to get a second amp to measure it on, like how when you're counting on your fingers and go above 10 and have to start using toes.

I really don't know where to start with this one. No matter where I look, something inane and unsafe is happening. Garchomp was already a safety hazard, but Mega Garchomp wouldn't be allowed within forty feet of a public building. It has 20 spikes, that's right, 20 of 'em. All along its chest, arms, and legs. Some of them are red! just like it's gigantic hand-scythes.

Don't forget the head, doing its best Battleship Yamato impression, a shark tail sticking out as a weird reminder of what it once was, when the world made sense, and random lines just thrown in for good measure. Oh, and don't worry, it has a splotch of yellow on its belly still. Jesus.

Mega Garchomp is what happens when you give a Godzilla movie an actual budget, it's like two Gigans fused together and mixed up with a Great White Shark and a Piranha. I can't over-exaggerate how crazy this thing is, because it will always be exactly that crazy.


Overall: 14/10