No. 914: Quaquaval

¡viva fiesta!

I get that this is a reference to the Carnival dancers, and that Quaquaval has turned from a duck into a peacock. But Carnival is usually associated with Brazil, not Spain. And if he's a peacock, he's a freaking ugly one.

You can't see it in this artwork, but Quaquaval summons a halo of water-feathers to act as a tail when in battle. It kinda looks like crap, though. And those Ikki the Phoenix feathers trailing from his hips don't help. Not to mention the bell-bottoms and freaky mutant toes.

Also the overall posture is just really off-putting to me, like why's he cranking that dumpy so far back? Calm down.

Overall: 2/10

No. 913: Quaxwell

must work out at the library

When the starters were first revealed, I saw Quaxly and thought, "Oh, it's a Don Quixote reference, he'll probably evolve into Ducky-xote and be a proud knight or something". Cuz of the name, and the fact that Paldea is Spain, right? Wrong.

Instead, Quaxwell is a big-noggin unibrow doofus wearing a crop top and crocs. I've heard of the ugly duckling, but this is taking it too far. Especially since that story ends with a beautiful swan, and Quaxwell is destined for... well, that's for another day.

Overall: 1/10

No. 912: Quaxly

Todomatsu lookin ass

I think copyright laws are pretty dumb most of the time, and overly stringent. That said, I kinda wish Disney would come along and copyright strike this Donald Duck ripoff right out of the game. I hate looking at him and his silly little hat. Quaxly looks like the annoying Animal Crossing villager who moves to your town and refuses to leave no matter how many times you hit him with a net.

Overall: 3/10

2-2: Blooper

Splatoon, eat your heart out

One of my lowkey favorite Mario enemies, Blooper rocks. That blank expression hides the cold and calculating mind of a murderer. You know cephalopods are smarter than we think, right? Blooper is always watching, always waiting, for a chance to wrap its tentacles around Mario and drag him down into the briny depths forever.

It's been playable only 3 times (Party 8, Sluggers, and Tennis Aces), but shows up all the time in games. Sunshine probably gave it the biggest spotlight, between multiple fights with Gooper Blooper and those frustrating-to-dismount Gooper Racers.

And as a classic enemy, it can be tough to deal with - bobbing in unpredictable patterns, yet somehow faster than Mario can swim. Certainly tougher than a Cheep-Cheep.

I really wish it had been used as a partner in a Paper Mario game, or given the driver's seat in a Mario Kart. The Blooper item is mildly distracting at worst, so I don't think anyone would notice it being gone.

Overall: 10/10