Thursday, May 31, 2018

Beta version of Gold/Silver discovered

Well, it's been an eventful week for Pokemon and NAPACE, hasn't it?



If you haven't heard, thanks to a series of interesting events, people produced and leaked a rom of the original beta version of Pokemon Gold, from the Spaceworld expo in 1997. It contains quite a few differences, including (most relevant to my interests) a lot of alternate designs and un-used Pokemon!

I'm not gonna front with you guys, I've got no interest in reviewing fakemons. But somehow, knowing these were official at one point, piques my interest. And it helps that a lot of them seem pretty neat.

So what do you think - would you be interested in me tackling these Pokemon of Futures Past? I've got jackshit to do anyway, for the rest of the year...

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

The Worst Gen 7 Pokemon

Trouble in paradise. Some of these garbage Pokemon were polluting the fair oceans and forests, being in the way and getting everybody all upset.

10. Alolan Graveler
9. Comfey
8. Dewpider
7. Trumbeak
6. Alolan Persian
5. Turtonator
4. Drampa
3. Necrozma
2. Alolan Dugtrio
1. Gumshoos

Specifically, I recall upsetting people with the blinding wisdom that Drampa, Turtonator, Necrozma, and Dewpider suck. I wish they didn't, but thems the facts. Who's running this blog, anyway? I don't see you posting shit!

...okay, you barely see me posting shit either, but still!

Well fine then, if you know so much - who are your Bottom 10 Pokemon from this gen?

The Best Gen 7 Pokemon

It was another short-handed generation, but at least it had more than the last one. I found myself with almost two full teams of Pokemon I wanted to use, which is a good problem to have. And not much of a problem, with the overly-generous exp share mechanics.

10. Buzzswole
9. Toucannon
8. Bruxish
7. Alolan Ninetales
6. Minior
5. Alolan Muk
4. Palossand
3. Alolan Marowak
2. Mimikyu
1. Salazzle

And as for the traditional "how do they fit into my cumulative top 10"... dang. This only gets harder and harder. I'll use the top 10 from my Top 25 I did a few years ago, instead of the older list from the Gen 6 wrap-up. But with a slight alteration, because I really don't know what Blastoise is doing up that high. He's still great, don't get me wrong, but... 4th best? anyway:

10. Mimikyu
9.  Donphan
8. Galvaltula
7. Salazzle
6. Pinsir
5. Starmie
4. Cacturne
3. Machamp
2. Heracross
1. Haunter

Salazzle and Mimikyu make the cut, and I can tell you that a few others would've got shuffled into that top 25 somehow.

7th Gen Summary

It's been a long time coming, hasn't it? We've been through so much, you and I. Well, it's time at last. Come, lay your head on my lap, and let me dribble opinions into your ear.

The 7th gen averaged out to 5.4 / 10. And that's counting Alolan forms, which I think you should. But not counting Ultra Beasts, because I scored them on their own scale, and evaluated them on different criteria. Ultra Beasts averaged out to a B+, by the way.

Funny story about the Alolans, though - they actively hurt the percentage. And compared to their Kanto origins, they combine for a net loss of 15 points! I feel like it was all worth it, to get Alolan Muk, Ninenales, and Marowak, though.

Oddly, despite the score coming in lower than Gen 6, I have a much more positive feeling about this generation! Maybe there were more 10/10s, and I've already forgotten the middling mooks? Or maybe it was the Alola Spirit moving me. I liked the game as a whole, and wrote my thoughts in more detail in the First Thoughts series.

Here's to Gen 8 in 2019!

other regional scores, for reference:
Gen 1: 6.2
Gen 2: 5.8
Gen 3: 6.1
Gen 4: 4.8
Gen 5: 5.4
Gen 6: 5.6
Gen 7: 5.4

Wednesday Ramble - Let's Go Pikachu and Let's Go Eevee edition

The important thing to remember is that this is not the Chosen One. so honestly, until we find out what that 2019 game will be like, I can't be too upset.

but LGE/LGP pretty much went out of their way to dodge every single one of my hopes, except for the return of Following Pokemon. that's cool, at least. And graphically, they look okay. it's Sun/Moon's art style, but in HD. Actually, that's not quite accurate - judging from the proportions of the characters, and the return to a grid-style environment, it's more like HD XY or ORAS. hmm.

so while I accept that these are some degree of spinoffs, geared for a crowd who forgot about Pokemon until GO came out two years ago, I still feel like they've a bit of wasted potential. By all indications, there's nothing new happening with the storyline or region. The routes are also basically the same, regressing away from Sun/Moon's more naturalistic style. Oh, and there's no online. And nobody outside the 1st gen (I've heard Alolan forms appear though?). And with a new gimmick pokewalker. But these are superficial, the real change in the mechanics is the capturing.

No longer do you have random encounters, which is fine I guess. But you don't even get battles, either! you just go straight to trying to catch them with motion controls. I'm reminded of that story about a guy trying to get his young nephew into Sun, but the kid couldn't figure out how to capture anything, he just kept swiping at the screen because GO was all he knew. Kinda says something about how the overbearing tutorials utterly fail at counter-acting Kids Being Dumb, as well as the change in audience.

And if it was just motion controls, that's one thing. But the problem with doing away with battles, is that it disrupts the core gameplay loop, doesn't it? how are you supposed to get experience points? Trainer battles are still in, so will they be repeatable? or is there another source of exp and leveling up?

Thinking about it more, this doesn't have to be a bad thing either. Let's be honest, grinding against wilds isn't exactly fun or challenging. And the games have been going the direction of making the "endurance" aspect of the game a non-factor - exp share was reworked so that everybody gets experience all the time no matter what, no need to worry about classic training methods like starting a weak 'mon and swapping it the first turn, or swapping in your weak one to get the last hit on a put-to-sleep opponent. Repels, I have learned with age, are cheap as hell. There's no need to ever get into an encounter unless you want to. And there are sometimes healers mid-route, too! No more scurrying back to the Pokemon center before you over-extend and wind up wiping out.

So really, what's been lost here? It won't be the same experience you had as a kid. Nor should it be. (personally I was hoping it would be a deeper experience, with a broader scope and more mechanics instead of the exact opposite of that BUT) So perhaps there's wisdom in this - cut down on the grind, find some other way to get to the battles and collecting aspect quicker. On the other hand, some people love the grind. Serious Fun is a real thing (Nicole Lazzaro's 4 Keys of Fun, look it up). By removing that, aren't you removing some of the soul of the game?

I don't know. Without further information, we can't even say for sure how the core gameplay loop will work now. All I know is, I expected better, but I'm not going to fly into a rage because Let's Go Pikachu/Eevee isn't for me. I wish it was, because I honestly believe there's a way to do a Return to Kanto and make it everything we've ever wanted in a Pokemon game. This... isn't it.

But thankfully, this isn't all there is. There is Another.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Wednesday Ramble

So it's leaky season, and the latest buzz is that the new games will be called Pokemon: Let's Go! Pikachu & Let's Go! Eevee. They'll somehow take cues from Pokemon GO, and will be a return to Kanto.

or so the rumor goes. There were logos that appeared, but one was confirmed fake. But then Emily Rogers confirmed the Pokemon GO stuff. And then people noticed all the Eevee-related merchandise push since last year. And also somebody registered those domains, from the same shell company that Nintendo used to register Sun and Moon before announcing them a few years ago.

So.

Personally, setting aside any question of legitimacy, this could be good? I'm down with a return to Kanto, provided:

  1. It's a fully 3D world, far removed from the grid limitations, with a moveable camera and verticality to the world.
  2. The plot isn't literally the same as before, don't run me through the same exact gyms in the same exact order and same exact Team Rocket-based plot points.
  3. Other generation Pokemon are available in the post-game, or through other means.

#1 is something I hope to see in any case, I'll be very disappointed if it's basically the same as Sun & Moon environmentally. But if we can't get #2, then I'll be pissed because what was the damn point. And if we don't get #3, that will be insulting. I love the Kanto region and generation, but I don't want it at the expense of everything else that's come since.

What else would I be hoping to see in the Switch game, which may or may not be in Kanto, and may or may not be revealed at E3 or sooner?

  • well-optimized (no frame rate issues, which is ridiculous that I even have to ask)
  • quality-of-life improvements to the UI design and obfuscated RPG elements
  • you know how the online was handled in X&Y? yeah do that again, idiots
  • bring back the Poke Ride system instead of HMs, but let you use your own Pokes if possible
  • skippable tutorial. I'm not 6, I don't need my hand held.
  • better story/characters, I know you don't have to try but it would be nice if you did
  • keep the battle system the same actually, don't screw around with real-time crap
  • random encounters are also okay! don't rock the boat TOO hard!
  • New Game + that lets me reset my progress and start over, while keeping my PC boxes
  • Pokemon run up and actually hit each other, like in that one Stadium game?
  • even more trainer customization, I had a lot of fun playing dress up last few games
  • Pikachu says "fuck" in this one
  • BRING BACK FOLLOWING POKEMON YOU COWARDS


what about you guys? do you believe the leak? would you want a second round of Kanto remakes anyway? what are your hopes for the inevitable next game?


Tuesday, May 15, 2018

No. 807: Zeraora

yare yare daze

hey look its' Eletctric Lucario wha thef uck do youo want I''m durnk


 Overall:
7

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

No. 806: Blacephalon

who's this clown?

I think I talked about clowns before, when I covered Piedmon in my Digi-tober event. Basically, I said that I tend to like Japan's take on the platonic ideal of "clown", since they wrap it up with harlequins and jesters and other fun stuff, instead of murder and hip-hop like America inexplicably does.

So does Blacephalon continue that trend? He's certainly not murderous or hip-hoppy. He throws his head around and it explodes, which is always fun. Reminds me of those guys from the Hunchback of Notre Dame, at the Festival of Fools. I'm not sure about the way it's rendered though - nothing else in the game escapes the hard outline, even fire and other effects are rendered with their own colored hard edge. So that's just weird, and not in an UB sort of way, more like a "did you accidentally delete the wrong layer before you saved the image?" sort of way.

Blacephalon is weird, and that's okay. His knees look like they should snap, and that head is irritating, but the concept is pretty good.


Ultra Grade: B-