No. 949: Toedscruel

"This isn't a war," said the artilleryman. "It never was a war, any more than there's a war between man and ants."

Original Tentacruel was a boss, so it should come as no surprise that Toedscruel is also a boss. Adding black to the color scheme is very striking, and completely fixes my issues with Toedscool. The big ol' snoot is a fair replacement for that ominous beak/claw, too.

 

The jellyfish -> mushroom remix works great, I think it looks ominous standing around like a freakish alien. Then it hops around, and you lose the mystique somewhat...

What's funny is that Gamefreak feels obligated to give every mushroom Pokemon access to the move Spore (the only 100% accurate Sleep-inducing move), but Toedscruel is fast. A fast sleeper would be broken, so they dealt with it the same way they did other potential super-threats like Regigigas or Slaking: Give it a terrible ability that actively makes it worse! As a result, all of Toedscruel's status moves automatically go last, meaning it can't put its high speed to use if you want to put things to sleep.

That said, unlike those other unfortunate Pokemon, it doesn't interfere with the rest of Toedscruel's stats or moves. So feel free to use it in-game like any other Pokemon, spamming Earth Power and Energy Ball.

Overall: 9/10

No. 948: Toedscool

big steppy

So, it's about time we talked about the Convergent Evolution Pokemon. Design-wise, these are the same as the Regional Form Pokemon: it's an excuse to remix an old design with a new twist. Igloo Sandshrew? Cool! Mushroom Tentacool? Neat! I think it's a fun design exercise, and much more interesting than coming up with over-the-top Mega Evolutions or Gigantimax forms.

Functionally, there's not much difference, either: In both cases, you're gonna get the same stat block, but a new type, design, and movepool. Regional Forms can breed with their normal forms, but that doesn't really matter.

No, the big difference is how the Pokedex treats them: Regional Forms are classified as "forms", and denied official Pokedex slots, whereas Convergent Evolutions are treated as entirely new Pokemon. Which is horseshit, because the Regional Forms should also be treated as entirely new Pokemon. For all intents and purposes, this is a new 'mon! And it looks dumb as hell to glance over a list of Pokemon and see Alolan Vulpix right alongside regular Vulpix. Alolan Vulpix is a Gen 7 Pokemon and you damn well know it.

Basically, it's like how Daisy is an "Echo Fighter" of Peach, but apparently not distinct enough to be a fully new fighter, like how Falco is a Clone of Fox. But distinct enough to be more than a skin, like how Alph is just a costume for Olimar. Then you have Chrom, who is an Echo Fighter of Marth, except he has Ike's Up-B. I've lost control over this metaphor, but the point is, Sakurai is a madman.

Anyway, Toesdcool!  I like how he runs around. The colors are awful, reminiscent of Mr. Blobby, which furthers my suspicion that half the designers did not realize they were in the Spanish region, not the British one. Shiny Toedscool is all-white, which is uncomfortable in its own way. I think I'd prefer a red-and-white Mario style mushroom coloration.

Overall: 7/10

No 947: Brambleghast

 Let's go brambling! (aw dangit)

I'm not a fan of Pokemon where the concept is "wow look, these shapes are coincidentally lined up so they just so happen to resemble a face!" Like, miss me with that Pokemon Signs bullshit. These are magical monsters, if they wanted to have a face, they could just have one.

Dhelmise is the main culprit here, but I see it in some fakemon, and now Brambleghast. It's a bit more purposeful than the others, but it's still like... that's not a mouth. That's a line in the SHAPE of a mouth. How can you bite anything with that?

The other frustrating thing is that Brambleghast looks like some sort of thorny bone pumpkin, which could be the coolest thing ever. Except it's not, it's a few floating eye-seeds and some dry branches. Why couldn't it have just been a spiky jack-o-lantern, with an actual mouth? Or a haunted skeletonic ribcage thing? I don't want a dumb weed.

Overall: 2/10

No. 946: Bramblin

I'm a Bramblin' Man

 

It's funny how in Pokemon, the desert areas are almost always associated with Ghost-types (as well as Ground). "Ancient ruins hidden by the sand" seems to be the theme, although in this case I think the reasoning is that it's like a lonely tumbleweed rolling through a deserted western town... a ghost town, if you will.

But, I fear Bramlin might be my Vanilluxe. I liked that icy bastard, but where other people said "oh my god its literally just an ice cream cone" I see Bramblin and think "oh my god its literally just a tumbleweed". Which isn't accurate, I know - a real tumbleweed wouldn't have so much empty space inside, much less any floating eyes.

But that just makes me think, is a tumbleweed really that interested to be the entire concept? It's Ghost-type, but I don't see much spookiness. If anything, the shape reminds me of Chandelure, and then I'm thinking about a much cooler Pokemon. Which is also an object-mon, but for some reason it's different. I liked Minior, too, which is also very similar. Not sure why Bramlin just leaves me so cold.

idk, I think it could have used a jaunty cowboy hat, or maybe it should be a little imp running around inside the tumbleweed-cage, like a hamster ball.

Overall: 4/10

No. 945: Grafaiai

mf thinks hes banksy

it's actually cool when Pokemon completely change species when they evolve, as long as they're connected in some superficial way. Wingull evolving into Pelliper? Yeah sure, I'd believe that seagulls are just baby pelicans, whatever. Shroodle evolving into Grafaiai? Now that's a stretch, I've never once thought about shrews and aye-ayes even inhabiting the same continents before.

What's more, Grafaiai looks like Darby Allin's fursona, but with huge gross drippy middle fingers. I know that's the aye-aye's calling card, but it looks even freakier here than it does in real life. I don't want to know where he sticks that finger to get it all goopy.

If I can be remotely positive, I think there's something going on with the hindquarters that I like, something about the shape of the legs, and use of stripes. And removing the pupils from the eyes was a good move. But I just can't get over the hoodie, and those disgusting fingers. If Grafaiai flipped me the bird I'd probably throw up.


Overall: 2/10

No. 944: Shroodle

oodles of shroodles

Now what am I looking at here, exactly

Shroodle looks like the head of some larger character, but they cut off the body and just stuck a few tiny feets to the bottom of it. And even if I accept this creature whose eyes are so preposterously large they could not each be contained within the same small body, what's going on with the nose situation? I guess those are buckteeth, dipped in purple venom, but they look like boogers hanging on the end of the nose.

And it's Poison/Normal at the end of all that hideousness? Get away from me with your tiny tuft of hair.


Overall: 2/10

No. 943: Mabosstiff

the oldest doggy in the world

I'm 50% sure they designed Mabosstiff with the express purpose of making a sympathetic elderly dog for Arven's storyline, and if that's the case they knocked it out of the park. Realizing Arven isn't just a weird sandwich freak, but doing this to cure his sick dog, is probably the most emotion I've ever felt from a Pokemon game. Anyone who's seen their pet grow old should know the feeling. How you get excited just seeing them walk around, because it's more energy than they've shown all week.

Take care of your pets, people. Love them while you can.

Anyway, putting that aside, Mabosstiff is a big improvement from Maschiff on the design front. He aged gracefully, looking like an elderly Marlon Brando in dog form. Big fan of those eyebrows. And when he opens his mouth, you can see he's still got a full set of chompers, they're just hidden under that dignified mustache.


Overall: 7/10

No. 942: Maschiff

the angriest doggy in the world

One of the niches nobody talks about is the "basic route 1 mammal, except its DARK". Like, in what world is Poochyena and Purrloin so damn evil that they have to be Dark-type, instead of Normal? Is it just so that they can get STAB from using Bite? I mean, it's a bit of early type diversity so I can't say I mind, but.

Maschiff looks like a smacked ass. I don't like his beady little Gen-2 eyes, or the way he has to talk out the side of his mouth like Cerebus the Aardvark. Also, there's just something about his color scheme that I don't like.


Overall: 3/10

No. 941: Kilowattrel

or in America, Poundwattrel

 

 Kilowattrel looks like one of those classic Pokemon designs - take a recognizable animal (bird), tweak it a bit (big throat sac), and then add something cool (electric powers). But it turns out, the frigatebird is an actual bird that already looks exactly like this, except red. It even has the throat sac. So all they did was copy an existing animal and make it yellow.

So I guess I'll have to credit Mother Nature for the design, but it looks pretty cool anyway! aside from the eyes, those are Gamefreak originals and still pierce into my soul and weird me out. But the black-and-yellow color scheme looks sharp.

Kilowattrel is the odd Sp. Atk focused Flying-type, and combined with skyhigh Speed, it felt very strong to me and was almost on my final team.

Overall: 8/10

No. 940: Wattrel

Watt's the deal with airplane food?

While Squawkabilly shat up the joint with its boring typing, Wattrel brings it home as an Electric/Flying type. I'm a fan of taking regular birds and just making them somewhat elemental, like Talonflame.

Wattrel's eyes and slight smile makes him look like he's about to star in a mediocre 3D animated film by Illumination, but overall the design is nice. Sensible colors immediately set him apart from other regional birds, especially other region's waterfowl. I've got nothing bad to say here, just that it's a solid bird.

Overall: 6/10