No. 677: Espurr

you ever look into a cat's eyes? like, really look into those things? it gets a little scary, man. believe me.

But it must be Scaresmas Eve or something, because we've got a fricken horror show on display tonight. Those are not the eyes of a happy little Pokemon cat.

Those are the eyes of someone long closed off to the world of the living. they see only darkness. this is what happens when you peer too deeply into the mystic, the paranormal, the supernatural, the extraterrestrial, the occult, in short - the other. "Gaze ye not long into the abyss, for it will gaze back into ye", as the saying goes.

His psyche shattered by visions of cosmic truths beyond his ken, Espurr is a former shell of a Pokemon. He cannot even pray for the sweet release of death, as he knows all too well what awaits him after he shuffles off this mortal coil.

So take pity on your Espurr. Be gentle to it. And whatever you do, for the love of God, do NOT look into its eyes.


Overall: t̀͞͠a̴ń̡́͡n͟͏ą̡̕͝͡ś̷͘i̸̴̢͘͢n̵̢͜͡ /10

oh and on that happy note happy Christmas everyone ha ha woo

No. 676: Furfrou

wouldn't be France without a poodle

but this one is kinda shabby-looking, ain't it? what gives? ohohoho dear reader, if you thought thusly then you are now in for a surprise. a surprise for your eyes.

That's right, you can style it up! The stats never change, but I think we can all admit this is a pretty fun gimmick. they come in three rough groups, from what I can tell:

Heart, Star, and Diamond are all fairly generic, but acceptable for what a poodle should look like.

Purple and Cream are like wearing cool hats, but the tie on Green makes me very happy. classy top hat, too.

Light Blue is lame again, but Red and Dark Blue are both pretty sweet. The latter is my favorite, it looks like a pharaoh. If I had a dog, I'd want him to look like a pharaoh, too. Now, if Furfrou was anything but Normal, I might actually use it...


Overall:  7/10

No. 675: Pangoro

wow I'm bad at this whole "updating" thing

I'm strangely disappointed in this guy, because I seriously thought he was Fighting/Grass. I know, I know, his whole gimmick is that he only evolves when there's a Dark-type in the party (which is genius) but I guess I missed that lecture? anyway, it was my own stupid fault, so I'm going to try and ignore the niggling feeling.

I don't know. He's still a banchou panda bear, and he's still got two fists full of punch and a mouth full of twig and a heart completely empty of shits to give. The dude just sort of rocks and rolls wherever, and however he likes.

I also love how his eyes are just these dark little holes now. you can tell there's not a hint of mercy left in them.


Overall: 10/10

Poodonkulous Remix Changelog Route 113-115, Meteor Falls, and Jagged Path

I know it's been a while, and many of you may have outpaced these logs, but here's the next batch anyway! This should take you til the 4th gym badge. For those just tuning in, this is my romhack of Emerald, find out more about it here. I recommend you read that for some information, but a direct link to the download of everything you need can be found below.

Pokemon Emerald: Poodonkulous Remix ver_01

anyway, onto the changes!

• Skarmory - Speed and HP boosted

• Vibrava line - type changed to Bug/Dragon, learns Silver Wind, Bug Bite, Bug Blitz, and Dragon Claw

• Gastly line - type changed to pure Ghost (dropped the Poison subtype), learns new move Voodoo, evolves to Haunter at level 25 and Gengar at level 44.

NEW MOVE: Voodoo - Ghost, 50 special power, chance of lowering target's defense. uses the animation from Curse, which I always found to be a pointlessly complicated and useless move.

• Shroomish - Attack and Sp. Attack boosted, evolves to Breloom at level 29

• Breloom - Sp. Atk greatly boosted, Speed boosted, Def significantly reduced

• Zubat line - learns Poison Fang at level 30, evolves to Crobat at level 32, learns Sludge Bomb and Toxic

• Meditite line - HP boosted, learns Raging Demon and Brick Break

• Sableye - HP greatly boosted (from 50 to 130), Sp. Atk and Speed significantly boosted, learns Shadow Punch and Crunch

• Murkrow - HP, Def, and Sp. Def boosted, learns Aeroblast and re-tooled Beat Up, which is now a Fury Attack-style move, with 30 power each. It's a less gimmicky take on it, but should provide Dark types with some high-level STAB.

• Deoxys is on route 115, have fun getting to it. Also Jirachi is in the Meteor Falls area.

No. 674: Pancham

I thought this guy was Fighting/Grass for the longest time, because I thought up just such a Pokemon a few years ago

He's still a scrappy little guy, with hell of attitude. but what's with the leaf? I mean, I know it's for some reason a trope for a delinquent to chew on a stem of grass, but why? Hibari's underling in Reborn! did it, Mako Makanshoku did it in her 2-star uniform, and I know I've seen it elsewhere.

It just seems like such a random thing to signify "tough guy". "oh yeah look at me I'm chewing the hell outta this grass, probably beat up a tree to get it, yeah I'm BAD"

anyway, Pancham is really cool. simple obvious colors, haven't really seen a panda before, that green acts as a focal point and draws it all together. no real complaints whatsoever, it's just excellent. and no, I'm not biased because I've wanted a fighting panda for a while now. (well maybe just a little)


Overall: 10/10

Poodonkulous Remix Changelog routes 110, 117, 112, and Fiery Cave

I first want to say, that if you were looking for a certain Pokemon and don't see them in the Locations textfile, then that means I didn't care enough about them to make any changes, and probably dumped them in the Safari Zone. So, Dunsparce, Ledyba, and Plusle fans, look around there. But I'd rather you didn't, those guys all kinda suck. try some of these new guys instead, I think you'll like what you see.

This also saw the first instance of some Pokemon getting nerfed, but it was really because I wanted Scyther to feel more in place and like a Pokemon who needed to evolve, rather than have him be a complete beast straight out of the box. Similarly with Elekid and Magby, I wanted to tone them down a bit to fit where in the game you find them.

• Bulbasaur line - changed type to pure Grass, reduced Speed and Atk and boosted Def and Sp. Def. Learns improved Solarbeam, which is a 95-power Flamethrower and Thunderbolt counterpart.

• Elekid - Def and Speed reduced, learns Thunderpunch at level 25, evolves at level 30 like normal.
• Electabuzz - Def greatly boosted, HP significantly boosted, Atk and Sp. Atk boosted, Sp. Def greatly reduced, learns Brick Break. No Electavire evolution, sadly.

• Grimer line - HP and Def significantly boosted, Sp. Atk greatly boosted, Speed reduced, Atk greatly reduced. evolves to Muk at level 33, learns Toxic by level-up and new move Mud Slide at level 50.

NEW MOVE - Mud Slide: Ground, 95 Special power, 95 accuracy, decent chance of lowering opponent's accuracy. I thought it was stupid that Muddy Water is literally just Surf but not as good, so I made it into something to give special attack Pokemon something Ground-ish to use.

Volbeat, Typhlosion, Eevee, and the rest of the Fiery Road miscreants after the jump!

No. 673: Gogoat

you know, those changelogs are a lot of work to put together, actually. Be glad I'm still trying to do regular updates!

The handlebar horns have become something pretty wicked. Good thing its tail is acting like a seat back so you don't fall off.

This is a very nice evolution, I'd say. Every aspect of Skiddo returns, but larger. I guess I could complain that it's a little silly to go from green trim, to brown, to tan shaggy fur, back to brown, then white, and finally orange hooves. That's a lot of color transition.

But in general, I just really like his shaggy look and simplicity of design - he's a goat that goes. you can ride him when he does. also he's got plant powers.

and I don't think I have to say how much I'd like to see the rideable Pokemon roster expanded.


Overall: 8/10

Poodonkulous Remix Changelog routes 116, Rusturf Cave, and Granite Cave. also Ver_01 patch

first off, it has been brought to my attention that Bug Bite was a Normal move, instead of Bug. this is the opposite of what I intended, so here's a patch for all you people who already have the rom to apply:

Ver_01 patch

it's got Lunar IPS included, so just fire that baby up, and apply the new ver_01 patch to the rom you were using, and things should work out? if you haven't even downloaded the original at all yet, don't worry, I've re-uploaded a version and fixed the link on the original post, found here.

anyway, on to the changes after the jump! Cubone, Geodude, Onix, Beldum, and more!

No. 672: Skiddo

Hey, ridable Pokemon! one of four in the game! wooo

That was something I think Gamefreak (and the people) hyped out of proportion. there just happen to be sections where you ride a Pokemon for a little bit, that's all. You can't just whip out a Tauros and go to town.

but so Skiddoo here, he's a nice fella. Handlebar antlers, nice shaggy grassy coat, he also learns some fun moves. I got one in a Wonder Trade actually, it was pretty cash for me.

I feel like this is covering territory we already covered earlier with Sawsbuck and all that, but I guess making it Fire type would've been just more proof of Pokemon's demonic messages that moms and fundamentalists are always complaining about.


Overall: 7/10

Poodonkulous Remix Changelog routes 101-104 and Petalburg Woods

as promised, I'll be breaking down some of the changes I've made. Those not mentioned are pretty much the same, with probably learning an extra move or a 10 point stat boost or something.

note: when I simply say "reduced" or "boosted", it refers to a difference of less than 10 points. "significantly booster/reduced" means in the ballpark of 20 points, and "greatly boosted/reduced" means it's like 30 or more.

• Caterpie - Learns Bug Bite early on, delayed evolution into Metapod until level 11.
• Metapod - Sp. Def increased to be on par with its Def. evolves into Butterfree at 15.
• Butterfree -  Butterfree HP, Atk, Def, Sp. Def all increased, stat total now 420.

NEW MOVE - Bug Bite: Bug, 65 physical power, 90 accuracy, small chance of making the opponent flinch.

• Pidgey line - swapped names so that it goes Pidgey>Pidgeot>Pidgeotto, HP and speed boosted significantly.

• Sentret line - atk and speed boosted, evolves to Furret at level 21, where it has a speed of 130. 

Poliwhirl, Shiftry, Raichu, and more after the jump:

Pokemon Emerald: Poodonkulous Remix

At long last, here's the alpha build of that romhack I've been "working on" for the past few years:

Pokemon Emerald Poodonkulous Remix ver_01

the .rar contains a copy of a GBA emulator, the modded rom itself, a image displaying the sort of Pokemon you can expect to find in the game, and a text file with detailed information on where each Pokemon can be found. also updated for version 01, so please, give it a try! 

but wait, you say, what's this even all about? what the hell is a "poodonkulous remix"? you can break down my changes like such:

-phys/special split

-higher quality Pokemon selection

-stat boosts for underwhelming Pokemon

-movepool additions for most Pokemon

-a few new moves added at the expense of a few useless ones

-type changes for a few Pokemon

-no trades or stones required for evolution


Further details after the jump:

No. 671: Florges

Miss Florges, I...
So, now there's really no excuse for the lack of a Grass typing, is there? the goddamn thing is a flower now, this is stupid. BUT ANYWAY, Florges is definitely sticking her ass out, and appears to be wearing a strapless tight dress, and making those eyes with those eyelashes, and I'm not sure I know how to feel.

though Bulbapedia certainly does, with the description employing words such as "dainty", "sylphlike" and "svelte". anyway.

The giant ruff reminds me of that one lady in The Three Caballeros, where Donald hallucinates this lady in the stars/flowers? anyone else remember that shit? that was weird. but I'm pretty sure it happened.

Florges has great stats it seems, but I never used one in my single playthrough of X so I can't weigh on on that front much. I guess it seems cool, and a solid Fairy-type, but I'm still salty that it isn't at least 1/4th Grass. No, don't ask me how that would work. shut up.


Overall: 6/10