Friday, July 28, 2017

No. 799: Guzzlord

Its ya boy, Guzzlordma!

oh boy. Where to begin with this fat, pointy tub of sin? It seems like he was designed by a committee, and that committee consisted entirely of 8-year old boys, so each one added something he thought would be super-cool and scary and awesome. That's how Guzzlord ended up with a gaping trash compactor mouth, converyor belt tongue, spiked mace for a tail, battle-axe wings, piranha plant arms coming out of his mouth, and a secondary head that looks like the Black Knight.

Guzzlord looks like he eats the souls of children, then shits out nightmares and centipedes. He looks like the final boss of a JRPG, when the big bad fuses with the recently-awakened Ancient Evil. He looks like the end product of that one dad who draws really detailed character/monster designs based on his kid's doodles.

Now, I keep saying this, but I expect a good deal of insanity from the Ultra Beasts. They should look like weirdo demons from another dimension. But does Guzzlord go too far? I say not far enough. The proportions are off - I like the idea of a bottomless maw, but it dominates the design so that all the other shit look like T-rex limbs, vestigial and useless. I would've made an entire secondary torso up there, maybe give him a wicked sword or something, too. And badass pauldrons. And another pair of legs, so he doesn't have to waddle everywhere.


Ultra Grade: B

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