No. 862: Obstagoon

Back into the regular numbers

I want to like Obstagoon. I really do. I thought this was a much-needed spice for the Zigzagoon line, and giving a boring generic 2-stage regional rodent a boss 3rd form is a good idea!

Sadly, Obstagoon looks like a dude in a fursuit. The fur on his limbs is SO differentiated from his black body fur, it looks artificial. And something about the proportions is off, at least the legs. This mockup I saw fixes a lot of my issues:

But even that aside, there's something weird about Obstagoon doing his best Gene Simmons impression, while simultaneously trying to convey that he doesn't feel disposed to receive Communion so he'd just like a blessing instead. The mixed signals aren't working for me. I know he was created entirely to give Piers a signature Pokemon, but it could've gone a lot better.

Overall: 4/10

Galarian Linoone

badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom

I was harsh on regular Hoenn-brand Linoone, but I stand by that. Furret already exists, Linoone is redundant. But now that he's in this new style, he's a lot better! It's cool how the fur pattern makes a shooting star trailing from his eye, and the sharp teeth are a nice touch.

He's less subtle about being a badger, but I'll take that over being a subtle piece of shit. Still, something about his proportions bother me. I don't have a good reason for it, maybe I'm subconsciously terrified of his aerodynamic shape.

Overall: 7/10

Galarian Zigzagoon

Ziggy Stardust

Throwing this in the middle of things because we have Obstagoon coming up next, which is a Galar-exclusive evolution for the Zigzagoon line. I'll do so for the others with  regional variants of their early forms, but stuff like Galarian Weezing will be saved for the end.

Anyway, I freaking LOVE Galarian Zigzagoon. I didn't see much purpose in the vanilla version, but this monochromatic little psycho is wonderful. The pink accent colors of his mouth and eyes help him fit in with the Spikemuth aesthetic, and stand out in general from every other Pokemon.

Honestly I think he's a fantastic bundle of energy, and the sharp contrast makes his zig-zag pattern work even better than just shades of brown.

Overall: 10/10

No. 861: Grimmsnarl

wooly bully

See, it was all worth it for this titanic badass. I love the colors, I love the overall proportions, and I love the concept. Hair being used to accentuate his muscles, and as tentacles? That's amazing, keep it up. I especially like the face here, the mouth and fangs look very skull-like is the best way, and his nose & ears have elevated to become like three horns. The animations on this beast are also fantastic, check out the delivery on that lariat!

In a way, this is the beauty of Pokemon. If you showed me Impidimp, I wouldn't want it around. Morgrem was only tolerable because I knew what came next. But even the worst starts can lead into something wonderful.

Just... don't try to imagine the amount of poke-bucks you'd have to spend on hair product every month to keep a Grimmsnarl. 

Overall: 10/10

No. 860: Morgrem

pssht... nuthin personel, kid

In the past I've dogged on Pokemon for being unnecessarily emo, or for having random sections of their body different colors. And while it's true that Morgrem looks as if he just waded through a vat of green paint, it's all part of the transformation to being green and retired in his next evolution. Maybe there could have been, oh I don't know, a gradient or something? to separate the halves? but I'm okay with it.

And I'm also okay with the emo haircut, because again it feeds into the evolving theme - he's becoming a hair monster. And demons are emo or whatever, it tracks. I disapprove of Starraptor's stupid haircut, but on Morgrem it's his entire gimmick so I'll allow it.

That is to say, I'm not the biggest fan of Morgrem and his skinny spaghetti limbs, but I understand this is a natural part of the process.

Overall: 5/10

No. 859: Impidimp

1-900-490-FREAK

This little psycho took forever to get officially revealed. I remember he was in one of the E3 demos, but only as an enemy. Nintendo refused to mention him, they wanted to talk about the new corgi Pokemon instead. Then he showed up during that weird 24-hour mushroom forest marathon stream where they announced Galarian Ponyta, just running around in the background. Again, no official confirmation on whether Impidimp was real or a figment of our collective imaginations.

But finally the truth could be held back no longer, and here we are. Impidimp is real, and honestly I kind of hate him. On some level that feels hypocritical - he's a little dude based on an ambiguous imp/demon, without any of the usual faults I slam these things for aside from a grossly huge head.

idk he just looks freakin' stupid to me. Dumb ass face, tongue all hanging out, weird eyes and too many repeating crescent shapes. I appreciate a bit of design motif, but there's so much of it going on in his head region (and absolutely nothing on the rest of his body, which feels like a total afterthought) that it gets visually confusing. I'm amazed how noisy this design is, for only using 2 main colors

 But mainly I think he looks like an impossible idiot, and not in the fun way. If I was a demon I would feel insulted. (for legal reasons I must make it clear that I am not, currently, a demon)

Overall: 2/10

No. 858: Hatterene

be silent. be still.

Hatterene is a confusing Pokemon. Its entire deal is that if you make a sound in its presence, or even think hostile thoughts, it immediately rips you apart. And yet, this creature mimics a curvy female body.

I do say "mimic" because that's all just hair - the little body you see is the only true self, similar to Hattrem. So what's its goal? To attract horndogs and then obliterate them when they make a single false move? Actually nevermind, that sounds like a noble service.

Mainly I just hope Hatterene can hang out with Gardevoir and Gothitelle and drink wine sometimes. Clearly it's very high-strung and needs to have a girls night out to relax.

Overall: 6/10

No. 857: Hattrem

trans rights!

There's a strange resemblance with Hattrem and Reuniclus - they're both slow Psychics with a tiny "real" body and large "hands" that they can use to beat the shit out of you. Despite then having a low physical Attack.

I like big ol' witch hats, so Hattrem is cool in my book, especially because it slightly resembles a jellyfish at the same time. A jellyfish that's eating a piece of cotton candy? 

Overall: 7/10

No. 856: Hatenna

 shoutouts to Flipnote

Alas, all good things musts come to an end. The run of the last 10 or so Pokemon was about as good a consecutive string of hits as any, but the goodtimes train finally hits the brakes with Hatenna.

Who isn't even bad! Just, not excellent. It looks like a Kirby enemy, and I'm continually surprised to discover that this line isn't Fairy type. But it's a step above most pink blobs (maybe I should be grateful it isn't another pink Fairy gumball) by daring to have TWO colors going on. And its hair are like hands? It's wearing a party hat? It's not much, but I'll take it. There's something happening with this design, at least. It's unique.

Overall: 5/10

No. 855: Polteageist

 I still haven't played Luigi's Mansion 3

What really bugs me about the art for Polteageist is how the cracks on the teapot make it look transparent, as if you can see the ghost-body's outline through the porcelain. Or more like there's a rendering error, which would be really weird for a 2D image. But it's not translucent at all, and in fact you can clearly see through the cracks that Polteageist's body takes up the entire inside of the pot, but still. It's confusing linework, and kind of an amateur mistake to make. Just a simple change in posing (or removing one of the lines) would alleviate the issue.

But that's the only bad thing I can say about this funky fellow. The swirls in the cup have become eyeballs, and that pose is very charming. This was one of the ones I was most excited for, until the leaks revealed the entire dex. And maybe it's just another mono-type defensive Ghost, but sometimes all you need is a warm brew of ectoplasm.

What do you think Polteageist tastes like, anyway? Grape, cuz of the purple coloring? Tea would be obvious, maybe too obvious. I'm thinking it tastes like haunted Dr. Pepper.

Overall: 10/10