Little Miss Min-Maxed herself
That one tendril that's covered in scales, or maybe it's like the scales (feathers?) have worn away, bugs me. What's up with that? And what's up with the one red spike on its body, too? Is this battle damage? Is it shedding?
Regardless, I don't hate it. In fact, I could totally see Flutter Mane as a normal evolution for Misdreavous, no gimmick required. I'll totally believe this is a regular Pokemon, so it's a shame it will never be allowed to be.
Overall: 6/10
Et tu, Brute?
One might call foul on Brute Bonnet, since obviously Pokeballs weren't invented back in dinosaur times, but I think from the Pokedex entries it's clear that Foongus and Amoongus just happen to look like that, and in fact the modern Pokeball design was inspired by their pattern, not the other way around. Yeah, they use their pattern for mimicry, but it says it doesn't even work on Pokemon, because obviously it wouldn't. They're adapting to humans, and trying to lure them in, instead.
So I'm okay with Brother Bruti here, it's like spiders evolving smiley-faces for no particular reason other than to prove God has a sense of humor.
And you know what, take away the green mossy fringe, and I'd really like the Brute Root! I think adding legs and a tail helps stability Amoongus's design in a neat way, turning him into some sort of centaur mushroom soldier thing. The fanged beak doesn't hurt, either. It's just that drapery I could do without.
Overall: 7/10
I'm sure I saw this guy on the Flintstones
Now we get into the Paradox Pokemon, starting with the ancient ones. To me, this felt like a strange concept, because we already know what ancient Pokemon looked like. They looked like Kabuto, and Cradily, and Aurorus. Relicanth, too. You know, Fossil Pokemon!
Instead, here's this group of weirdos who just resemble modern Pokemon, but hairier and with bigger fangs. It's strange to think of long-term evolution as we understand it in real life, in a series where Pokemon undergo evolution akin to metamorphosis. I know some people were saying they're not meant to be real at all, just the fantasies of explorers made physical, but I think it ended up being that they are from the past, but actually it's another timeline's past?
idk, the Pokemon Multiverse Theory is a topic I find so engrossing that every time someone brings it up I fall asleep. What matters here is the design at hand, which is basically just what I said - a hairier Donphan, with bigger tusks.
And Donphan is one of the all-time greats, so naturally that means Great Tusk is also pretty good, but I think those tusks are just a bit too big. Can't skewer anything when they're curved back so far like that! Also, the more I look at it, the more I think that Donphan was actually perfect and I start to resent even trying to iterate on it. It's like putting eyebrows on the Mona Lisa. Or in this case, pink spikes on an elephant.
Overall: 6/10
doing this here with all the other regional evolutions, so I don't forget
For a Spain-inspired region, there's not a whole lot of Spanish flavor in Paldea. But if there's one thing I was looking forward to, it was a bullfighting Pokemon. El toro y el matador, you know? So what they decided to do with this easy layup is... odd, to say the least.
First up, it's just a regional form of Tauros. Which isn't awful, I mean they could have just made a new bull Pokemon, but they already have one, so hey. But when I saw it, I thought it was just a shiny Tauros. Then I noticed its horns were blunted. Somehow, this makes it a Fighting type.
I mean, yes, it is a bull that fights, because bullfighting, so Fighting, that's fine. But wouldn't that make it look, idk, more aggressive? Shouldn't the horns be emphasized, if anything?
Then I realized that there are multiple forms of this regional form, which seems pretty pointlessly confusing, especially since Blaze Breed is easily the best of the lot and should have been the only one. Fire/Fighting is a better combo, it has badass horns, plus the tail being braided into a bullwhip is such a cool detail! It's one of those rare regional forms that's just a straight improvement on the original in every way.
Finally, the Aqua Breed, just seems redundant. Why do we have this water buffalo? This isn't Veggie Tales. Its horns look dumb, and spinning its tails like a propeller in the water is barely anything.
But again, I have to ask: Why are there three of these guys? I would have simply done Blaze Breed on its own, that's Paldean Tauros, no further questions. If there must be multiple, then I suppose Fire and Water are traditional counterparts, whatever. But then why does there exist a third version whose defining characteristic is just "lacks the defining characteristics of the other two"? Especially since you could just use regular Kanto Tauros in that role. I don't get it.
Combat Breed: 6/10
Blaze Breed: 10/10
Aqua Breed: 4/10
This is what we could be getting, instead of Mega Evolutions.
The original concept of Girafarig was that it was sort of a Pushmi-pullyu, a beast that's the same coming and going. That changed from the beta to a giraffe with a weird chain chomp tail, which is less biologically disconcerting. As it evolves into Farigiraf, that tail wraps around its back and swallows the main head, which is biologically terrifying.
I feel like we've lost the original "mirrored" intent, but I don't really care because Farigiraf is actually pretty neat! The secondary head looks like a hoodie, which is cute. I don't really like the transition from dark brown to black, though - those colors are too similar to put adjacent, just pick one. And if you must change, do it at the base of the head, not halfway through the head. But the overall shape of the whole Pokemon is really solid.
Overall: 7/10
Big Ass Fish
Not really much to say here, Dondozo is just a big ass fish and that's what he is. Sure, the little circle of fins on his head suggests a sushi chef, but that's Tatsugiri's bag. I won't blame Dondozo for that. Bro is just out here fishin' around, being big. Fishing bigly. He's a big fish. Big ass fish.
Overall: Big/Fish
Did you know that whales once had legs? They evolved backwards from wolves or something. Crazy shit.
I thought I liked this line when it was first revealed, but the more I look at this artwork, the less I like it. Which is a shame, cuz I want to like it! Land whales are cool, making it Ice is bold, the colors are great. But those arms seem waaay too long. I swear they weren't like that in the game.
And even worse is how its mouth looks like a child with a cleft lip (don't look it up, it's exactly what you're thinking). The single cartoon baby goo-goo-ga-ga tooth doesn't help, either. I've been doing more of these quick redesigns lately, because sometimes the change is so simple and obvious it's crazy they never looked like this in the first place, so here:
No change on the arms, but somehow without that abomination of a mouth causing my direct psychic damage, I don't seem to care about them anymore. Also I changed the tooth into classic Gen 1 fangs, to go along with its iconic gen 1 horn.
Alas, the actual Cetoddle looks like somebody was owo'ing so hard they permanent disfigured their mouth. (still cute when it keeps its mouth shut, tho)
Overall: 5/10
reminds me of the flowers from Forever Forest in Paper Mario. In vibes, if not in looks.
Bulbapedia has a bunch of ideas on what could possibly be the inspiration behind Glimmet, but I think it's possible that Gamefreak wasn't considering any of that and just said "how about a poisonous crystal flower?" and I think that's awesome.
Well, Glimmet itself isn't exactly awesome, it's just kind of a little bulb. A necessary first step. I do enjoy how its eyes show through its snout as if it were a rendering error, but actually it's because the snout is clear.
Overall: 5/10
funny number
Cyclizar's design is fine, great even. Solid proportions, looks like a friendly monster, little splash of orange, I dig it.
No, the problem here is that the damned thing has wheels but doesn't use them. It looks like a bike for no reason, it isn't a bike, but people ride it like a bike, but it's not a bike, it just runs on four legs. Koraidon also does this, but Cyclizar is here now so he must bear the brunt of my wrath.
This is a Pokemon. You just had a car with an engine and wheels. Why can't Cyclizar literally have tires that spin? I agree that it's clever to hide the wheel in the dewlap, but you could also just make it function as a proper wheel. Gigan has a sawblade in his tummy, Tails spins his tails like helicopter blades, I can handle a little anatomical impossibility in my made-up monsters. And if you're not willing to give him real tires, then just abandon the wheel motif altogether. I can also accept people just riding lizards like they're horses.
also, it's a little sad that this thing only exists as a diminished version of your ride legendary, an awkward evolutionary middle point between the epic past and glorious future.
Overall: 7/10
Ecco the Dolphin was a trip and a half
It's sometimes shocking to find that such basic animal concepts as "dolphin" still haven't been covered by Pokemon, well into the 9th gen. Finizen does a fine job of it, I like the aquamarine colors. Maybe they could have spiced up the design more than they did, it's almost literally just a dolphin, but knowing the major gimmick coming up I understand playing this one safe.
As such, my only real critique is the eyes. I thought it had big eyes with big pupils, but actually it has bulging eyes and no sclera. And now I can't stop noticing it.
Overall: 7/10
happy Wiglett Wednesday to all who celebrate
I've said before that I like these Convergent Evolution Pokemon, and I view them as functionally identical to Regional Forms. In fact, I wish all Regional Forms could be separately categorized in the Pokedex, as if they were completely independent Pokemon (because they are).
But, as for Wiglett itself, I'm pretty sure I fought this thing in Yoshi's Island. Cute little fella, not much else to say.
Overall: 7/10
Ruff 'n' Tuff
Tinkatuff fixes the proportions of Tintatink, but has the problem of so many middle evolutions that I'm just waiting for the final form.
Also I don't really like that hammer design, the way the metal is wrapped without any support, won't it just bend completely the moment you try to use it to hammer anything? It needs crossbar support to hold the sides up.
But still, Tinkatuff herself is well-designed.
Overall: 7/10
I deserve a flittle bit more
When I caught Flittle, I had no idea it would evolve into an ostrich. I thought it was some sort of Dumbo Octopus, or a weirdo Fairy thing. Maybe it's supposed to be an egg? With frills?
I don't dislike the design, mind you, I'm just confused on how we go from here to Espathra. Flittle is cute, and in general I support making Pokemon that are just kinda Monsters without necessarily being based on a specific real-life animal.
Overall: 6/10
two heads are worse than one
Well, that was disappointing. I do applaud Scovillain for the typing, the overall concept, and for bringing back the iconic Gen 1 Single White Toenail, but dear lord are there problems here. The biggest one is that those necks look ready to snap right off. I know plant stems are pretty skinny, but surely it would look better to taper in the opposite direction? (it's not just a quirk of the artwork's perspective, either - they're actually modeled that way)
Almost as important is the bizarre way those lower teeth are cutting through their jaws. I guess the teeth are supposed to be like pepper seeds, but uh... are pepper seeds known for poking through the pepper like that? It looks painful at best, and if it wasn't for the artwork I would have assumed they were a model clipping issue.
See? Now was that so hard? In my version, the red head is always the one to shoot Fire attacks, and the green head always does Grass attacks. Also it gets Drought as a hidden ability. But alas, the perfect ideal can never exist. So we are left with the flawed reality.
Overall: 6/10
