No. 914: Quaquaval

¡viva fiesta!

I get that this is a reference to the Carnival dancers, and that Quaquaval has turned from a duck into a peacock. But Carnival is usually associated with Brazil, not Spain. And if he's a peacock, he's a freaking ugly one.

You can't see it in this artwork, but Quaquaval summons a halo of water-feathers to act as a tail when in battle. It kinda looks like crap, though. And those Ikki the Phoenix feathers trailing from his hips don't help. Not to mention the bell-bottoms and freaky mutant toes.

Also the overall posture is just really off-putting to me, like why's he cranking that dumpy so far back? Calm down.

Overall: 2/10

No. 913: Quaxwell

must work out at the library

When the starters were first revealed, I saw Quaxly and thought, "Oh, it's a Don Quixote reference, he'll probably evolve into Ducky-xote and be a proud knight or something". Cuz of the name, and the fact that Paldea is Spain, right? Wrong.

Instead, Quaxwell is a big-noggin unibrow doofus wearing a crop top and crocs. I've heard of the ugly duckling, but this is taking it too far. Especially since that story ends with a beautiful swan, and Quaxwell is destined for... well, that's for another day.

Overall: 1/10

No. 912: Quaxly

Todomatsu lookin ass

I think copyright laws are pretty dumb most of the time, and overly stringent. That said, I kinda wish Disney would come along and copyright strike this Donald Duck ripoff right out of the game. I hate looking at him and his silly little hat. Quaxly looks like the annoying Animal Crossing villager who moves to your town and refuses to leave no matter how many times you hit him with a net.

Overall: 3/10

2-2: Blooper

Splatoon, eat your heart out

One of my lowkey favorite Mario enemies, Blooper rocks. That blank expression hides the cold and calculating mind of a murderer. You know cephalopods are smarter than we think, right? Blooper is always watching, always waiting, for a chance to wrap its tentacles around Mario and drag him down into the briny depths forever.

It's been playable only 3 times (Party 8, Sluggers, and Tennis Aces), but shows up all the time in games. Sunshine probably gave it the biggest spotlight, between multiple fights with Gooper Blooper and those frustrating-to-dismount Gooper Racers.

And as a classic enemy, it can be tough to deal with - bobbing in unpredictable patterns, yet somehow faster than Mario can swim. Certainly tougher than a Cheep-Cheep.

I really wish it had been used as a partner in a Paper Mario game, or given the driver's seat in a Mario Kart. The Blooper item is mildly distracting at worst, so I don't think anyone would notice it being gone.

Overall: 10/10

No. 911: Skeledirge

Call 9-1-1... we just nuked the building.

So we're looking at a mashup of themes, here. Skeledirge is a crocodile, with a wreath of flames coming from the corners of its mouth. And if this were Gen 1, it would have probably stopped there. But this is Gen 9, baby! So he's got a little bird made of fire that sits on his nose, like those birds that clean crocodile's teeth. But wait, there's more! He's also got a Ghost sub-type, justified by face paint reminiscent of the candy skulls from Mexico's Day of the Dead. And you bet your ass that still isn't enough, because he's also a lounge singer and that fire bird turns into a microphone and then into a phoenix and flies at the opponent.

And somehow? it all works. What a legend. I'm only taking points off because somebody said the way his flames are arranged makes it look like he's got Bozo the Clown hair, with the facepaint and all.

Overall: 9/10

No. 910: Crocalor

back to awkward middle stages

So when I first saw this guy, I thought it was a jaunty sombrero. Fitting, given the Latin flair in Fuecoco's name and the Dia de los Muertos theme that Skeledirge ends up with. But in this artwork, it really doesn't look like a sombrero at all. Probably because it's intended to be a nest, for an egg.

And yeah, it could be both a hat AND a nest, but it's kinda disappointing because big wide-brimmed sombreros are awesome and birds are dumb. But I guess it explains where the bird comes from for Skeledirge.

if it sounds like I'm already trying to move along to the next evolution, it's because Crocalor is a dumpass who doesn't even have a cool hat.

Overall: 3/10

No. 909: Fuecoco

shoutouts to tha 909

When Fuecoco was revealed, everyone thought he was an apple. Then people realized since he's Fire-type, he's probably supposed to be a pepper. Turns out, his evolutions don't pursue either path. He's literally just a little dude. A little dude with a big goofy grin.

Fuecoco avoids the trend of starters having comically large heads compared to their bodies, by following in Rowlet's footsteps and simply having his head fuse with his body. What he wasn't able to avoid, however, was the pieces of Kraft cheese somebody slapped to him. After Scorbunny, is this the new trend for Fire starters?

Most importantly (to me at least) is that Fuecoco being a crocodile disproves once and for all the "zodiac theory". A theory that should have been dead on arrival, since Cyndaquil was a porcupine and not a mouse, or when Fennekin was a fox and not a dog.

Overall: 9/10

No. 908: Mewoscarada

Now, for my next trick... 

Meowscarada looks like Arkana from Yu-Gi-Oh. Except wearing tights. Just to put that mental image in your mind.

That yo-yo is now a... magical levitating flower? a singular Gundam Bit? Navi from Ocarina of Time? Gradius's Option? If anything, the artwork looks like it's supposed to be juggling, except there's only 1 ball. And then the animators saw the concept art, but were unable to come up with any way to feature it besides just having it float around.

That's the only distracting thing about an otherwise solid design.

Overall: 8/10

No. 907: Floragato

el gato verde

A lot of people were apparently disappointed that Sprigatito's evolutions stood up. Personally, I don't really care, although I get how being quadrupedal makes it feel more like a monster and less like a character.

Regardless, Floragato rocks. The middle stage often comes across as an awkward halfway point, but Floragato nails the "teen badass" vibes like Charmeleon and Grovyle. That pink doohickey is actually a yo-yo, by the way. Kinda random, but it adds a twist beyond simply being a green cat. Wish it was better conveyed in the artwork, though.

Overall: 8/10

No. 906: Sprigatito

Okay, delayed long enough so that everyone who would care has already moved on, right? Good, time to get down to business.

This dank little kitty may not be a Fire type, but it's blazed out of its mind. There's nothing going on behind those bloodshot eyes besides bong fumes and a subliminal desire for tacos at 1 am. Forget Professor Oak, we need to call Dr. Dre and get him to analyze this chronic cat. Call it what you want - bud, pot, skunk, spliff, reefer, Mary Jane, sticky icky, the point is - the cat is weed.

Anyway, it's got an enormous noggin compared to its body, as is standard for starters these days, but it's an extremely cute noggin. And despite being the second feline starter in three generations, it doesn't overlap much with Litten in terms of design. I like it, even though this artwork has one eye slightly tilted. But I can blame that on the ganja. 

Overall: 420/10