This dude got the most severe tan line I've ever seen. My man could get a job as the Coppertone model. Dude looks like he was made by one of those mix-n-match books, and his legs came from a different person than the rest of his body. Call this dude Michael Jackson because he's Black and White. Or better yet, call him Gen 5, for the same reason. My guy just caught himself a fresh bag of Pokeballs, no clue where he even got that, did he buy them at the store? did he put them in the water to wash them off? But let's get back to his skintone.
How do his feet stay so pale, though? Does he wear flippers or footie pajamas all the time or what? Trust me, you hang out at the beach, your feet get some sun. How the hell did he keep those things so pristine? does he just stand waist-deep in the water for hours at a time?
But hold up, there's more - the hair. You see it sparkle? How does he do that? is it sea-salt, crusted in his hair? does he have a shark fin up there, is that what that is?
Also those pants are, and I mean this with the utmost respect, the fruitiest things I have seen all year. Looking like what Elton John would wear to swim class.
Marlon makes me laugh, but let's be honest - it's an awful, awful design that tries to be something but gets confused about which fetishes exactly it's supposed to be catering to, and splashes spectacularly. I would not trust a man with a gym when he can't even remember his Sun-bloc.
Overall: 1/10
This made me laugh out loud so many times man - best post in a while, hands down. Love it. Perfect. Keep it up! :D
ReplyDelete- Juvar
actullay i think he has on of the best looks in the game
ReplyDeleteThe sparkles in his hair are water droplets
ReplyDeleteHis pant things would look better without the fins at the bottom.
ReplyDeleteWait, you mean he's not black? That's a tan?
ReplyDeleteHaven't been this mindblown since Brendan's hair was a hat.
Haha poor bastard. This is the first time I noticed that his feet is white.
ReplyDelete