Beta No. 245: Sui

this Pokemon smokes weed. don't ask me how I know, I just know.

That single glowing eye is freaking me the hell out.


I was dogging (hah) pretty hard on Actual Suicune, all those years ago. But looking at the alternative, I feel that I may have been too harsh. At least that one took good care of its hair. This one just lets that shit clot and clump, forming natural dreadlocks and smelling horrible. Becoming a vegan or getting really into communism is soon to follow. And I'm all for sticking it to The Man, but becoming a hippie shouldn't just be a cover-up for your total surrender on the personal hygiene front. Sui might be full of wisdom, or it might just be full of lice.


Overall: 1/10

Beta No. 244: En

Hot Dog!



...why ain't y'all laughin'

I wonder if these names were just placeholders, too. They're so simple, and literally just "thunder", "fire", "water", in Japanese.


En here looks like he could be a Gen 6 Pokemon, actually. Just has that vibe. Those black flames are kinda neat, but I think the artist should've realized that he's got fire on his ankles, too - not just gauntlets. I really like Entei, but I have to say that his beta form is neat, too. Just lacks the "Legendary" punch.


Overall: 6/10

Beta No. 243: Rai

I weep for the tragedy of the hundreds of thousands of Deviantart pictures that never came into existence, because they didn't use this design.

I mean, just look at this anime-ass bitch. Lookin like something out of the Lion King 3. Like if Sasuke became blonde, then also a dog. The sort of Pokemon that doesn't just have fans, but fangirls.

Alas, it was not to be. We got Raikou instead, and I think the world is for the better. Although, looking at these proto Legendary Dogs, I can see why they're DOGS. Instead of, you know, big cats. Nice to have that mystery cleared up, instead of having to argue with people who think a leopard is a type of canine.


Overall: 4/10

Beta No. 242: Kingdra

I suppose it's worth talking about Kingdra?

I suppose someone, theoretically, might care about Kingdra.

I'm not one of those people, but I admit this version does a lot more to earn its Dragon typing. Wings are a bit tacky, and I wonder who was going around giving curly mustaches to everybody, but hey. The Kingdra we got is no great looker, either. I think the #1 feature for beta-Kingdra is the snout.


Overall: 5/10

Beta No. 240: Likk

"hey, can you just draw the dumbest shit ever?"

"yeah sure boss no problem, one grade-A doofus coming right up"


Lickitung is weird, and Lickilicky sucks, but Likk here is extremely silly. Nobody has mustaches like that if they want to be taken seriously, and I don't know why he has to grab his tongue like that. Also, is there a second tongue wrapped around his head like a turban? That's disgusting, I do not support this. And no offense to the artist, but given the dramatic drop in quality compared to all the other illustrations, I think we know who came last on the priority list.


Overall: 1/10