No. 713: Avalugg

I heard one of these sunk the Titanic.

Now, this is what I'm talking about! Turn the ice upside down, that's unusual. so it's a big walking iceberg with cracks in it, and a trangular head, and all these icicles hanging down, it's really cool.

also has Defense for DAYS. pity it's Special Defense is so low, flick a lighted candle at it and the poor thing will practically evaporate, like someone from a half-remembered dream, to reference another DiCaprio movie.

I'm also digging the blue outline instead of the traditional black, really sells the whole "I'm a giant frikken' hunk of ice" theme.


Overall: 8/10

No. 712: Bergmite

Just the tip of the iceberg.

I like Bergmite's eyes, for some reason. The rest of him is sort of, eh, uninspired? it's a hunk of ice with some legs. That's been seen quite a few times before, and Bergmite isn't really doing anything special with it.

I like the effect of his eyes being under the ice, that's kind of cool. And I'm always happy to see the slightly irregular outlines of his ice, instead of smooth curves all over the place. also, he's got high defense for an Ice-type.

But in the end, he doesn't have the power to do anything, and he's still just a little dude with some frozen junk on his back. he's a walking ice crystal. I body those for free all day in Metroid, Bergmite ain't no great shakes.


Overall: 5/10

No. 711: Gourgeist

Hi, this is Marzipan, I'm busy being a haunted pumpkin Pokemon right now, call me back or leave a message after the tone. BEEEEP

So, it's like a candle I guess? because the hair can fall down and look like dripping wax?

that's... okay. but I just don't like the overall shape of it, I feel like this is a strange direction for the "jack o lantern" Pokemon. if anything, now it looks like it needs a Fire subtype? also pink is a stupid color choice here. does not go well with either tone of brown.

I think the main problem is that it's tall, instead of big and fat. and I like my Pumpkins like I like my women - carved up and left out on the porch. wait no, that's horrible. I like them big and fat. wait no, that's not true either.

whatever. I like my women like I like my Pokemon - certainly a lot better than 4/10.


Overall: 4/10

No. 710: Pumpkaboo

Did someone just say "pumpkaboo"? 'cause I think I just heard someone say "pumpkaboo"!

Love this little guy. is it a bat? is it a pumpkin? it's both! or maybe it's some kind of truffle? looks like something Rachel Alucard would summon.

in any case, Pumpkaboo is pretty neat. I like how they come in multiple sizes, like actual animals in real life do. Or actual pumpkins, I suppose. But yeah, you can catch itty-bitty ones for bite-sized eating, or big ass ones for sitting on and riding to the moon or whatever. It's got an intentionally ambiguous design that reads as both pumpkin and bat, without really using any cliches of either - no stereotypical bat wings, no grinning jack-o-lantern smile. that's why I like it so much.

another thing - Trick or Treat is a much better move than Forest's Curse, because it safely adds a type that allows Pumpkaboo to exploit the fact that Ghosts are good against Ghosts, without the enemy Ghost being able to Ghost back at him. But he can still Ghost, because he's Ghost. But the enemy is also Ghost. Does that make sense?


Overall: 10/10

No. 709: Trevenant

Why don't you make like a tree and leaf?

No! I'm kidding! Plase stay!

We got Trevenant over here, making a ruckus like he owns the place. rowdy asshole. A possessed evil tree is a stable of the RPG genre, and it finally makes an appearance in Pokemon.

I like the look of how there's a ghostly shadow connecting the pieces of wood, and the singular red eye. But is it just me, or do those bits of leafery look more like shrubs than leaves? I don't know, I just don't care for how they're drawn. Nor the little leaves just hanging on all over the place, either fall off and be bare, or clump together! you're just complicating the silhouette.

Yeah, Phantump had little single leafie bits, but I'd expect that to grow up to leaf clumps at the very least. or drop off altogether? it just bugs me.


Overall: 6/10

No. 9999999

I come from the far-flung future. There is no hope. This blog will continue forever, Pokemon will never die, but the releases of updates will grow further and further apart with each passing generation.

I have seen this dismal future, and there is no hope. The only path to salvation is to cancel the blog right now.

I hope this message reaches you before it's too late. It is already too late for me...

No. 708: Phantump

a Ghost/Grass and they waste it on a haunted tree? that's cool I guess, but what about a pumpkin? oh wait, they do that too? huh. I suppose there's no reason to be upset then, is there?

Gen 6 has been continuing the Gen 5 mission of finally delivering all these cool Ghost type combination Pokemon, so here we are with Grass/Ghost. Something that's been too long in coming.

looks like a little shadow spirit got his head stuck in a log, with branches as horns. nice and simple. I like it.

also the possessor of some new moves, Phantom Force (a good bridge for Physical-attack Ghosts, who need something between Shadow Punch and Shadow Force), and the interesting Forest's Curse, which adds Grass to the opponent's type.

However, it doesn't replace any of their types, so they still get all their STABs. or more, if they were running Solarbeam or something despite being Fire-type, idk. also I'm not sure how Phantump is supposed to take advantage of this switch, it doesn't have any Fire, Flying, Ice, or Bug moves, aside from maybe one or two TMs. and it also takes away any Leech Seed opportunities, since that don't work on other Grass-types.

I guess it could be more useful in double or triple battles. Phantump itself is still great, though.


Overall: 8/10

No. 707: Klefki

do you ever see some Pokemon and you're just





and you try to not say anything because okay every Pokemon is special but you're still just

Klefki is that Pokemon. It boggles my mind that this piece of shit made it out the door.

I mean, seriously? my Mom's key-ring? is this how you really want to play this, Gamefreak? Christ, I can even SEE the individual keys on there. How'd they get there? what the piss is that limp-dick little key on top up there? holy flaming balls, even if this wasn't a goddamn keychain, it would still be an awful design. to hell with that pink dongle, to hell with that dumbass hoop.

Look, I defended the Vanillite line, because it was ice cream + icicle + snow + snowcone, it was a neat fusion of ideas that a lot of people didn't think about and just saw it as an ice cream cone. But Klefki here? no. I can't even begin to.

I'm sure if I looked at the Pokedex there'd be some smart-ass entry about "Klefki steals keys from suburban families because they remind them of its dead mother" or something, but I just don't care. this is flat out one of the stupidest, most pointless, and just all around most TERRIBLE designs I've seen in a long, long time. Perhaps the worst since, gee, Druddigon?

oh, and of course it's a Fairy-type. Really off to a strong start, here, as a species.


Overall: 1/10

No. 706: Goodra

My name's Goodra and I like sticky hugs!

Awwww! I'd hug a Goodra, even though I might come out like Dan Aykroyd after getting Slimed. But I bet Goodra's slime smells like soap, because that's just the kind of guy he is.

He's also a fat-bottomed sauropod, joining Dragonite, Tyranitar, and other bottom-heavy drakes on the upper edge of the tier lists. Why is that, by the way? Don't any of these guys even lift? I mean, I know Conkeldurr does, but he's skipped leg day since the day he was born, so he's not a good role model, either. Well, there's always Machamp, that guy's body is a temple to Personal Health. Wait, I feel like I've gotten off track here, what were we talking about again?

oh right, slime dragon here. Well, he finally deserves his typing, though I think he could easily pick up a secondary typing like Poison or Water without much fuss. I also think it's neat how the "shell" just sorta moves down to the end of the tail. I just would maybe have rather seen a big-ass sloppy mollusk as the final stage? but then his type would be pants-on-head levels of "mistakes were made".

I guess it's not really fair to judge on what-ifs, but I can't help it. Goodra himself is cool, but sometimes... sometimes I just sit and think about... about what could have been...

overall: 7/10

No. 705: Sliggoo

this is probably the cutest snail I've ever seen

Again, I question why Dragon has been brought into this mix. Snails are clearly Bugs, and being goopy is clearly a Poison or Water thing to be. and I don't see why we need another pure Dragon-type, we've got enough of those already. though to be fair, we have enough Bug and Water types, too, so I guess there's that.

regardless, Sliggoo is okay. that goofy grin and green eyes sell it. and I still dig the colors, the whole line really stands out in the Pokedex.


Overall: 6/10