No. 311: Plusle

My sister and her friend went as Pluse and Minun one year.

"hey look at me guys, I'm totally Pikachu, I swear!"

URG. There was no need for this to happen. All Plusle and Minun did was confuse people who thought they should evolve into Pikachu or something. Gamefreak keeps on doing this, making new electric rodents and shoehorning them into the anime in the hopes they'll be the next Pikachu.

NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

I mean, they didn't even try to pretend they could come up with a new idea. It's still the same mouse-rabbit as Pikachu. If they had seriously tried to make it more bunny-like, then things would be a little different, but whatever.

I only give a point because the Positive/Negative themed abilities is a good idea for a double battle Pokemon.


Overall: 2/10

No. 310: Manectric

Anyone remember the pinheads, from SNL?

Look at Mr. No-Fun here. He's so uptight, he can't even sit down.

While on one hand it's kinda funny that his mane all stood up like Super Saiyan hair, it also looks dumb. And are those tiny slits in the side of his head supposed to be ears? That's kinda creepy.

Also, I don't like how he went from looking all feral to this super hardass cop dog thing. I mean, he already have dog Pokemon that are associated with the police, we don't need any more. Some giant badass thunder wolf woudl've been amazing, but oh well.


Overall: 4/10

No. 309: Electrike

Good dog, best friend.

You don't see many green Electric types out there. I like it, it adds character to an otherwise average design. The rounded-spikey mane he has reminds me of Wolf Link from Twilight Princess, though.

I'm trying to think of something else to say, because I don't really have much of an opinion. He's got a solid design, but he isn't awesome. He's just a dog, doing his duty, being all electric, don't worry. um, he's one of my mom's favorite Pokemon that isn't a Water or Grass type?

I guess he's another one that falls right in the middle. okay, slightly above the middle, because he's a little puppy and that's wonderful.


Overall: 6/10

No. 308: Medicham

YOGA FIRE

I love those kind of pants. Those genie pants, baloon pants, puffy pants, whatever you want to call them. The kind that Djinn wear. Those pants are great. Sometimes you see ninjas with something similar, except it only goes to the knees instead of the calf. either way, I'm a sucker for the "puffy and then suddenly skinny" design of leg coverings.

However, Medicham is in a weird position. He's got even Special and Physical properties, which is good, because as a Supreme Yoga Master he obviously has attained perfect balance of the spiritual and physical, but then his defensive stats are slightly higher than his offensive ones. And neither ones are great either. This too, wouldn't be that bad, because a Supreme Yoga Master should be patient. But then he's got a low Health and higher Speed, which completely contradicts his other stats.

I guess I could see him being an all-rounder, with slight specializations, but none of his stats are high enough to justify them being so even. It's a pity, because I'd totally use Medicham.

also, his shiny sprite is blue, and Meditite's is red. See that? That's smart shiny design right there.


Overall: 7/10

No. 307: Meditite

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUM

Head like a chestnut, ears like sweet rolls, Meditite is ready to rumble.

As long as rumbling doesn't entail doing much work, that is, because he'd much rather sit there and meditate all day. just like his name, get it? If you change one letter, it's like a joke, if you're feeling generous.

I don't think he should be Fighting type, though. He looks like a wimpy nerd. Pure Psychic would've been okay, and then his evolution could get the Fighting sub-type.

Wait, is he wearing a diaper? Oh snap, I think he is. Friiiiig, that's nasty. I don't want some diaper Pokemon on my team. Maybe he has to wear one because when he's meditating he doesn't even get up to go to the bathroom that is disgusting


Overall: 3/10

No. 306: Aggron

aggro as BALLS

holy shit does this guy kick ass.

First, do you know his Japanese name? Bossgodora. That's right, BOSS-FRIGGING-GODORA. I don't even know what a Godora is, but I think it fought Godzilla at one point.

Next, it's ability is called Heavy Metal. Don't even pretend you didn't perk your little ears up when I said that, even all you indie hipster alternative pissers out there, you all wish you could have an ability called Heavy Metal. You'd be like someone from JoJo's Goddamn Bizarre Adventure.

Lastly, 200 base defense. That's 3rd best in the entire world. I don't think anything (except Ground, screw the type chart) can put a scratch on his stainless steel glorious body, he will tank everything like he's the main character of a Jackie Chan movie. and do you know who that is? Jackie Mother-loving Chan, that's who. The man is made of steel and not-give-a-shit, just like Aggron.

holy balls you guys what if Aggron and Tyranitar had a giant Kaiju battle wouldn't that be the best thing.


Overall: 10/10

No. 305: Lairon

I imagine final bosses just sit around all day, gettin' their lair on.

Now, I know what you're thinking: Why should I use a Lairon when Rhyhorn already exists?

Well, maybe because you're playing Sapphire or Ruby, not Red or Blue, you shit-for-brains. Also, Lairon, like Aron, gets that crazy defense. Resistance to 10 types, bitch. As long as no Fighting or Ground show up, you're fine.

On the other hand, what are you gonna do with a Lairon? It don't learn no Rock moves naturally, and Rock kinda sucks. Steel likewise. With Rhyhorn you at least get STAB Earthquake.

meh, they're both plate-metal, quadrupedal rock monsters. potato potato.


Ovearall: 5/10

No. 304: Aron

I used to know a kid named Aaron. Dude was a jerk.

Aron is one tough little dude. With his defense, plus his typing, you'd be hard-pressed to do much of anything to him. Unless, you know, you used Ground, which is super-effective against both Rock and Steel, for some reason.

Why is that? Dirt and rocks are like the same thing, they are frequently mixed together, and they don't harm each other. And sand has never done anything significant to metal.

anyway, Aron is about Geodude level - he is certainly there, and I see him, but that's about as far as it goes.


Overall: 5/10

No. 303: Mawile

I seriously thought it was Mawlile, with an L in there up until just now.

Mawile joins the ranks of "Pokemon with more than one head, or at least more than one mouth, in either case, it freaks me out", alongside such members as Dodrio, Wobbuffet, and Girafarig.

However, I have a question: Why isn't Mawile a Grass type? I mean, she's obviously venus flytrap inspired, she looks almost like a Deku Baba from Zelda. Why pure steel? The teeth? She looks pretty soft other than that part.

Weird Pokemon, that's for sure. Also, she's the only Pokemon who actually is turned around and standing backwards. Unless you buy into the punching-bag theory for Wobbuffet, in which case you are spending too much time thinking about a shitty Pokemon.


Overall: 6/10

No. 302: Sableye

Sable Eye for the Ghost Guy

This Pokemon sucks, but I love it anyway. Just getting that out there.

Dark/Ghost is a fantastic combination, because it means Sableye has no weaknesses. None. You cannot score a super-effective hit against Sableye. Now if you just paired this typing with Shedinja's Wonder Guard...

Also, the design is frigging awesome. It reminds me of Stitch, from Disney's "Some Hawaiian Girl and her Hot Sister and Also an Alien named Stitch". But what you don't see is that Sable here has a creepy, sharp-toothed grin. And a ruby and a sapphire embedded in its back. it's sinister and creepy, but also looks like you just might be able to becomes its friend. Another great Ghost-type.


Overall: 10/10