No. 879: Copperajah

 the Minecraft pokemon

I hate that Copperajah is so blocky. It just reminds me of that awful Pokemon Quest game, which asked the question "What if we made a game with an even uglier art style than the Rumble games?"

The way its toenails are just a part of the leg itself, looking painted instead of natural, pisses me off. I know it's a Steel type, so it's allowed to look unnatural and synthetic, but somehow I just don't think it needed a rectangular ass body with sharp corners. And french fry tusks. What's infuriating is that the rocks on its head are plenty bumpy, so it doesn't even maintain the perfect cubic aesthetic.

And it's a shame, because the colors are great,and I think if it was just allowed to be more elephant-shaped instead of refrigerator-shaped I'd really dig it.

Overall: 4/10

No. 878: Cufant

 I don't know how to type out an elephant sound, so you'll have to imagine it yourself.

One day they'll listen to me and make that Ghost elephant Pokemon. Call it Pachydream. I don't care that Musharna sort of stole that gimmick, it's a tapir not an elephant.

Until then, Cufant is the first elephant Pokemon in quite a while, and thankfully it's a good one! The color scheme is striking, and in general it looks like it would pair well with Numel. I like how the trunk ends in a spade for digging up... whatever Elephants eat. Peanuts? do peanuts grow underground?

Overall: 7/10

No. 877: Morepeko

AH↓HA↑HA↓HA↑HA↓HA↑

Time for another regional Pika-clone. This one has Doraemon pockets and a bifurcated colorscheme like Monokuma. Also it has the body shape of a Minion.

When its belly is empty it gets Hangry and changes form, but the only gameplay difference is that its signature move becomes Dark-type instead of Electric.

Last gen we had Mimikyu, who was the resident Pika-clone while also having a fun gimmick and a fantastic design concept. Morepeko is mildly gimmicky and that's better than not being anything at all besides a fruitless effort to capture the Pikachu Appeal, (the Pikappeal, if you will) but I still don't like it much. Attaching it to Marnie in an attempt to siphon some of her popularity didn't work, it's just kind of dumb and useless.

Morepeko? how about LESSpeko, thank you.

Overall: 3/10

Monster Rancher #65: Tiger

They're Grrrrrreat!

Hey wait a minute - that's no tiger. He doesn't even have stripes! it's just your normal, everyday blue wolf with horns!

which, I admit, is still plenty monstrous. Just not seeing the "tiger" in this one. It's still an iconic monster, with a design that those charlatans and grifters over at Gamefreak would blatantly steal later for their Shiny Lycanroc.

Also, fun fact - you can find this Monster by popping in Insane Clown Posse's Riddlebox. Whoop whoop!

Overall: 8/10

No. 876: Indeedee

shoutouts to that guy on twitter who draws nothing but maids skateboarding

Like all traditional depictions of the English Butler, the male Indeedee wears croissants in its hair. It also has tiny blue triangles that seem really strange, until you realize they're kinda like tiny spectacles. I think his harsh eyes and ^ mouth suggest a tsundere attitude, which is always something you want in a butler.

Meanwhile, the female of the species is a maid. Her pattern suggests an apron instead of a suitcoat, and the croissants have become twintails. I'm a little confused about the purple triangles though, they can't be glasses anymore so idk what they represent. Eyelashes? oddly, the Male is the one with the eyelash pattern on his face. Female Indeedee is a cutie though, so it's ok.

The pair remind me of Meowstic - gender dimorphous Pokemon with similar proportion, colors, and typings, and a moveset that suggests team battles. So while they're not unique in that regard, they're still pretty solid designs that I'm sure appeal to anyone who ever wanted a Poke-maid. Look, I'm here to judge the Pokemon, not the players.

Overall: 7/10

No. 875: Eiscue

 When are they adding Eisbahn to SFV?

Along with Dottler and Falinks, Eiscue plays a big role in making the Galar Pokemon feel like Super Mario Galaxy enemies. Just something about their energy, I guess. I can picture jumping on its head to crack the ice, then it runs away and you have to stomp it again to defeat it. 

By the way, the gimmick with Eiscue is that it can tank 1 physical hit for free, at which point its Defensive stats fall and its Speed increases. Funnily, if you use Hail afterwards you can set up the ice cube again. I actually love that sort of thing, it's like a combination of Minior and Mimikyu, two of my favorites from Alola.

The problem for me is that stupid hair, sticking up through the ice. Why does a penguin have a single hair like a dumbass cartoon baby? The Pokedex says it dangles its hair in the water to lure in fish, which is just stupid as shit. When its head is frozen, how can it possibly dangle that hair unless it stands on its head and floats upside-down in the ocean???


Overall: 7/10

No. 874: Stonjourner

 Let me speak the Stonjourner Truth:

I do not care about Stonjourner. Usually that's reserved for the most generic, basic Pokemon, but in this case it applies to Stonjourner, who would not be out of place in Super Paper Mario. That's not to say I hate it, merely that I had forgotten about it completely until just now and even when wracking my brain I can't find a single opinion to share about it.

The whole design feels like somebody said "hey what about a Stonehenge Pokemon? that's in England, right?" and they drew a sketch on a napkin and that was it. And to that end, it succeeded - I instantly see it and think of Stonehenge, but it's not cool enough to want to use, or weird enough to catch my interest.

The way the mud on its feet doesn't cover the stone "lacing" on its "shoes" is strange? I think that's the most I'm willing to say on the subject of Stonjourner.

Overall: 4/10

No. 873: Frosmoth

 Mother. Mother. Mothest.

It doesn't show up in the artwork, but Frosmoth's wings are slightly see-through in-game and that's a really cool effect. I love this type combo, and how they handled it. Frosmoth looks soft and fluffy in the same way a snowbank does, but also like a fluffy coat, which ties into the moth fuzz motif. Great stuff.

But that's just a lot of fancy words to say that I wish Frosmoth was my mommy moth gf

Overall: 10/10

No. 872: Snom

 smol snom

I wonder if Gamefreak knew they had a hit on their hands when they designed Snom. Like, it was by far the most memed Pokemon upon release, everybody and their dog were drawing fanart of Snoms sitting in places they don't belong, or cuddling up to ice cream or whatever. It just hit the perfect vein of "no talk me im angy" that was in the air at the time.

But did it catch them off guard? Did they have all the Snom merchandise ready to go, or did they have to scramble to capitalize on its popularity? Again, this is a fantastic Pokemon that wasn't mentioned before release, as were most of the best in this game. I'm not sure if they really wanted to surprise people, or if they just misunderstood their own game that hard where they thought advertising it with Galarian Weezing and Chewtle was a good move.

Anyway, Snom is wonderful because it's a tiny lil' bug with and a unique typing and nifty translucent shell. Maybe it got a little too hyped by the memes, but it's still great.

Overall: 9/10

No. 871: Pincurchin

N64 C-buttons for eyes

Probably the most forgettable Pokemon this generation, Pincurchin will be upstaged in the "little nugget" niche by Snom later down the line. I have no problem with making a sea urchin into a mono-Electric, but there's nothing exciting about Pincurchin to make me even care.

Also, its mouth looks like a butt.

Overall: 4/10