Thursday, June 14, 2012

No. 460: Abomasnow

"...Cyclops hurling peaks at Noman, and even the Abominable Himalayan Snowman!"


Okay, now this guy is great. I love his shaggy fur that hangs in thick flakes, and his beady purple eyes amidst the white and green. I know he gets his shit pushed in with like 7 different weaknesses, but still, he's badass to me. Again, he has little trees growing out of his back, like spikes. And he's got an even more unified color scheme, dropping the muddy brown in favor of all white-and-green, all ass-kicking, all the time. Don't go messing around on his side of the mountain, he'll drop a glacier on you.

But with the actual review out of the way, it's time to talk about the elephant in the room: The Yeti. It's a semi-mythical beast that roams the mountains of Tibet, also known as the Abominable Snowman. Surprisingly similar to the thing known as Sasquatch, or Bigfoot, up in Canada. Are these creatures ancient ape-things? Are they ancestors of Neanderthals, or something else entirely? There's whole world of mystery surrounding their sightings (and lack thereof), and cryptozoologists love to extrapolate about them to no end.

Personally, I think it's a big bunch of baloney. Why would there be this one lonely creature hiding out there? Ignoring the problems everyone has had of proving its existence, it's hard enough to justify it! Unless it's some magical being that can live alone for hundreds of years, it must have other creatures like it. And if there were more, we would know about them, because while one Sasquatch is hard to track, a herd of them ought to stick out like a sore thumb.

I think most likely, someone just made it all up. Second most likely, it was just some hairy hobo wandering around howling at shit because that's what hobos do. Same for Tibet, except it was some hairy Tibetan Monk or something, who spent too long meditating in the caves and got all beardy, I don't know. It's all pretty dumb, if you ask me.

So anyway yeah, Abomasnow: a cool dude who roars with the might of an avalanche and such. Confirmed for not existing, and is all the better for it.


Overall: 10/10

3 comments:

  1. Man.... 10/10 seems generous.

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  2. Especially seeing just how little time you actually spent talking about Abomasnow...

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  3. I just had a lot to say about Yetis, is all!!

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