No. 823: Corviknight

You, you! Me me Pickle Pee! Me, me Pump-a-rum!
I don't know what brave soul decided that the regional birds should just NOT suck and instead be awesome, but I want to shake their hand. Ever since Gen 6 it's been a home-run each time. Corviknight is sick as hell.

I love how he's almost entirely one color. It's the sort of design choice they would make due to sprite limitations in the past, but now it's done purposefully. And it works! Corviknight looks menacing with those obsidian wings and black armored face. With the piercing red eyes (which don't extend past his eyesockets, thank god) daring anyone to step to him.

It's funny that such a badass bird is used as a common taxi, but whatever. That doesn't diminish Corviknight's threatening aura.


Overall: 10/10

No. 822: Corvisquire

We're all lucky that this Pokemon came out before the pandemic hit, or else the online would be flooded with shitty COVID-pun names

I wish they'd worked in another chess pun to fit the Rook and Knight names. And, yes, still the eyeball issue. But somehow, this one works better? I read it like he has eyeglasses, which is cute.

And besides that, Corviquire is one handsome bird! What a gallant profile, fluffy chest (take notes Greedent) and powerful talons. I think this is the most I've liked a middle-stage bird since Pidgeotto? He just looks cool!


Overall: 8/10

No. 821: Rookidee

Venom Bird

I'll come right out and say it - I don't like that its pupils extend past its eyeball. I know that the "pupil" is actually the entire eye and the "eyeball" is just coloration, intended to trick predators into thinking it has larger and scarier eyes. I'm aware that I'm being tricked like a dumbass cat into thinking this bird has bigger eyes than it does. I understand all this.

I still don't like it.

Everything else is fine, though. As far as generic birds go, this is one of the better ones. Especially because it's not even Normal/Flying - that's right, they finally made the regional bird PURE FLYING!!! It's a little thing, but I appreciate it.


Overall: 7/10

No. 820: Greedent

Greed isn't Good.

So first off, looking at Greedent's ears, they seem to be oriented sideways. Which may have been the case for Skwovet, who I perhaps misjudged. But what I have written, I have written.

Greedent at least tries to up the fluffiness factor with all those untamed hairs rising out of its tail, but at this point they feel tacked on in arbitrary places. It's especially clear on the 3D model, nobody would be tricked for an instant into thinking that tail had any amount of fluff to it. They just look like spikes. And as a connoisseur of fluffy tails, I have to say that's a disappointment.

Heightening this displeasure is the fact that Greedent canonically stores candy and shit in its tail. Getting all covered with hair and squirrel-stink. And there's nothing appealing about a Pokemon that is essentially the backseat of a family minivan. French fries and fruit cup lids stuck under the seat. Sand everywhere. Random forgotten broken toys. Old lollipops gathering lint and dirt. Never have children, my dear readers. Your life will cease to be your own, and everything you own will become sticky and broken.

Look, forget this big chungus bitch, let's move on to some better Pokemon.


Overall: 1/10

No. 819: Skwovet

those eyes stare into my soul

so what exactly is this guy's ear situation? I see little flesh bits on the sides, but then the ears continue upwards anyway. And while I want to appreciate their attempt to make Skwovet feel "furry" by drawing that tuft of fur sticking up like an ahoge, it just seems weird because everything else is so smooth.

I dunno, this little dude is just boring and sucks. We've had good Squirrels before (Pachirisu), this ain't it. Skwovet isn't exactly driving me nuts here.


Overall: 2/10