Glacia of the Hoenn Elite Four

notice how you see Ice, Ghost, Dragon, and Dark specialists in Elite Fours a lot? I guess those are just considered endgame-types is all.

you know, I don't think I've ever seen this official artwork before. I'd always seen her battle sprite, she looks a lot younger and, uh, prettier here. Definitely got that Scandinavian stylings, which works if she's gonna use Ice types.

I'm noticing those pants, though, and they're throwing me. not sure you're supposed to wear pants under a long dress like that. also holy piss, I thought that was a scabbard on her side for a moment there, that would've been viking queen as Hel.

but really, the more I look at her, the more bored I get. She's really proper and refined, but that can also translate into Boring, and in this case it does.


Overall: 4/10
In the remake

Phoebe of the Hoenn Elite Four

oh, be still, my heart!

Brown? check
Hawaiian brown? check
Confident about showing some skin? check
Short hair? check
Uses Ghost-types? check
Giant pink flowers stuck to the side of her head like alien growths? check

yeah, that's pretty much everything on the "my ideal woman" check list right there.

no seriously, Phoebe is great. Memorable design, if a little questionable as to why she would use Ghosts. But I think one has to cut the Elite Four some slack in this regard, as I've said before - they're already the elite trainers, they don't got nothin' to prove. She's a spunky islander girl who just so happens to love Ghosts, that's all there is to it.

okay, I guess there should be more to it than that, but c'mon. is Phoebe. is cool. Especially like the consistency between the flowers on her skirt and the flowers in her hair, and I'm a sucker for the Pokeball motif appearing anywhere on clothing it seems.


Overall: 8/10
In the remake

Sidney of the Hoenn Elite Four

I'm actually very familiar with this incarnation of the Elite Four.

I may have not mentioned this before, but my first run through Sapphire was disastrous. My starter was Sceptile, who proved useless, so I had to abandon him. I wanted to use Sableye to fight against Ghosts, but Sableye actually really sucks. I also brought Shedinja, hoping to cheese out a few trainers, but that never really happened. I used a Hariyama, who did okay against Sidney here. I brought a Castform, planning to have it use Hail and then be Ice-type to fight Dragons. Needless to say, that didn't work. Torkoal was my attempted Fire, but he's also kinda shitty. So in the end, it just came down to my Kyogre running a train all over everything with Surf and Ice Beam. It ended up near lvl 65. Everyone else was hovering around the 40's.

I picked somehow the worst team of Pokemon for the job, and got my ass handed to me more times than I could count. By the time I finally gave in and let Kyogre do all the work, it was too late, my enjoyment of the game had been ground into nothingness.

anyway, my point is that I've fought Sidney possibly more than any other single trainer in any other game, so he's like a close friend to me. A close, douchey-hipster friend who happens to have a team of Pokemon I all think are awesome.

Sid looks like a prick, but he uses Dark-types, so I'm actually gonna say it works. He oughtta look a little punk. Could have more black on him, instead of that much red, but eh.


Overall: 6/10
In the remake

Juan of Sootopolis City

How many gym leaders does Sootopolis City have? let's count them! Juan, Two! Two there are! Ah ah ah!

He takes over after Wallace moves on to the big leagues. and he's kind of cool, I guess. he really looks like a 4th Gen design, though. It's the hair.

I like how he's keeping the same general color scheme, of white/blue/purple. and he's looking dapper as all get out, with that cravat and brooch.

I dunno, there's not much to say here, I never played Emerald. not sure what his personality is like. I do think I like Wallace more, though, because wearing such obviously period-piece European clothes in a Pokemon game just doesn't seem to fit very well. Modern-style clothes, and japanese-style clothes work fine, but whenever I see a dude gussied up in a similar way I'm wondering if he's cosplaying or some stuff.


Overall: 7/10

Wallace of Sootopolis City

it's a good thing Fly exists, because otherwise I don't think Sootopolis City would get like any mail

His official art doesn't show it, but Wallace is all the time posing his ass off, jazz fingers going wild, being basically the biggest flashiest most flamboyant trainer ever.

and it's pretty great. His color scheme is actually kinda subtle, being most white and cyan. maybe it might look like an Ice trainer to some, but the way everything about him is about flow, I don't think so. his cape flows like a waterfall, or spreads like a wave. it's a really neat design choice.


Then, in Emerald, he gets so full of himself he gets to be the Champion. Now, we've seen Koga get promoted, and Lance take back his place, but it doesn't make sense to me that he could just waltz up and become Champ.

actually, that's exactly what YOU do when you beat them. except you don't bother to wait around and fight other challengers. what's up with that, Player Character? show some respect for the position!


Overall: 8/10
In the remake

Tate and Liza of Mossdeep City

seriously thought these was two girls for the longest time

you know, there's not much chinese-dressed people in Pokemon. So it's good to see a little of that show up here, in these brats fashionable pajamas or whatever. I'd let my children sleep/pratice tai chi in those.

I also super like the idea of psychic twins being the gym leaders for a double-battles-only gym. Shows off the new system, which is good, because pretty much nobody else in the game did. While I'm on the subject, I just want to say how much I like triple battles, because it feels like I've got my actual party out there on the field and stuff, and it makes battling a lot more complicated and interesting, and I'd hate to see it gone in gen 6. so fingers crossed.


anyway, back to Tater and Liszt. I suppose they work, they're designs are more focused on looking like innocent twins rather than powerful psychics, but that works. because when you see two chinese twins in pajamas sitting together and holding hands and staring at you with shining unblinking eyes, you begin to expect them to have latent telekinetic powers. or at least I do.


Overall: 6/10
in the remake

Winoa of Fortree City

damn I forgot this one even existed

That's a pretty funky outfit she's wearing, I don't even know what to make of it. Like, I see an aviator's cap, okay. Hair going crazy like wings, okay. a choker I guess. Then some bizarre one-piece that turns into bloomers, which then turns into like sleeves for her legs? they can't really be called pants, I don't think. It's bizarre.

Like, is this what flight jumpsuits look like? I don't really think so. I don't really think Gamefreak knew what they were doing here. You just sort of breeze into her little Ewok-village-ass town, zap her or freeze her, and move on.


seriously, I don't remember shit about this girl. cool hat/hair, though.


Overall: 2/10
In the remake

Norman of Petalburg City

No, May... I am your father.

Other than that little "twist", if you can even call it that, Norman is super boring. I mean, he's the Normal-type gym leader, I get it. Dude has about as much personality as Wonder Bread. He's Norman, and he's pretty frikken' normal.

I suppose having his gym revolve around using X Attack and X Defend and stuff is kinda unique, tho. Not that it mattered much, just gave my guys a free turn to attack.


He's got some sense of style, I suppose. I wear a sweater kinda like his, except grey. I dunno, he's pretty much living up to everything I'd expect out of a "Normal Gym Leader". I guess I shouldn't fault him too much. He actually feels like he's sort of a strategic all-rounder, but chooses to work with Normals because you have to specialize to own a gym, and they're the most flexible.

In the end, I suppose a totally normal score would be appropriate. Does "normal" not sound like a word to anyone else now? normal normal normal


Overall: 5/10
In the remake

October is my Favorite Month

I love October for a few reasons, and especially THIS October. Because Pokemon X and Y are coming out in less than two weeks. In case you didn't know.

So here's my self-imposed challenge - a post every day this month. Every single day, content of some kind comin' atcha.

I know I've got more than a few gym leaders and elite four members to get through, but I think I'm going to get through Hoenn and then stop. Because I'm getting bored. I want to wade into the Gen 6 Pokemon, and I don't want to wait too long. But I don't want to start immediately, either, because I need to actually PLAY the game before fully formulating my opinions.

so my plan is as follows -

1st - 6th: Hoenn gym leaders
7th - 11th: Hoenn elite four
12th - 19th: Random first impressions of the game
20th onward: 6th gen train gets rollin'

Any complaints about this plan? because this is looking like a damn fine plan to me. I like this plan.

Flannery of Lavaridge Town

THE MOST EXCITING TIME OF DAY HAS FLANNERY COME

now here's a little secret - I dig it when characters have baggy pants and tight tops. And I mean from a character-design perspective, male or female, I think it's neat. somehow combines a relaxed look (the bottoms) with an athletic look (the top).

so Flannery has that going for her. In addition to having hair that looks like it's exploding out of her head, and a helpful little flame symbol on her shirt. I'm saying she clearly communicates her Fire expertise, is what I'm saying. I'm also saying she's incredibly hot, and possibly the most memorable character in the entire 3rd Gen. She got that older-punk-girl thing going on. it's great


uh, yeah. I really like Flannery, I think that's apparent. I also think she has a good design, and Torkoal is a cool signature Pokemon. and she lives in a town his hotsprings next to a volcano, that's amazing.

Overall: 10/10
in the remake