Favorite Digimon #12 - BlackWarGreymon

You all should've seen this coming.

I mean, there are only two kinds of Greymon better than MetalGreymon, and I did the other one last time. Skipping right over boring-ass vanilla WarGreymon and go right to my man BlackWarGreymon. Usually I despite these blatantly lazy recolors, but I cut this guy some slack because he single-handedly made Season 2 interesting again.

Season 2 was a big disappointment to me, because I didn't like any of the new kids, most of the armor forms were lame, I never liked Kairi or T.K., and the villain was a spoiled brat and then that Team Rocket wannabe mummy+spider duo... it was a mess. Then along comes BlackWarGreymon who had all this existential angst to deal with, despite being an unstoppable force of destruction who kicked ass and didn't even bother to take names. It resonated with me as a kid, though I bet the adult me would find his character simplistic and melodramatic.

But that's no issue. This list is as much a celebration of my personal nostalgia as anything else. Even regular WarGreymon is great, and I believe in fact I wrote about him before...

Favorite Digimon #13 - SkullGreymon

I didn't even plan this spookster to be the 13th, but I'll take it

Of course, as awesome as MetalGreymon is, we can improve on the concept - how about a skeleton dragon, with a goddamn living-flesh rocket torpedo? Can I get a round of 'Hell Yeah's?

I'm serious, everybody reading this needs to stop and give me a 'Hell Yeah' right now, out loud, before continuing. I'm not gonna keep writing until you do. And I don't mean a little half-assed under-your-breath, whisper-scream, either. I mean an honest 'Hell Yeah', from the gut. Okay, we good? Wait, Chris, I didn't hear you. Yes, you. There, that's better. Anyway.

SkullGreymon is radical and I love his big, scraggly tooth grin. Dude looks straight outta the margins of a talented middle schooler's notebook, just a big mess of X-treme bones and attitude. And I can't mention enough how bizarre it is that his rocket launches out of his back (MetalGreymon and Andromon shot rockets, but out of their chests like a normal person), and that rocket is somehow more fleshy than his skeletal frame. Shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't care, SkullGreymon is amazing.

Now how about another 'Hell Yeah'?

Favorite Digimon #14 - MetalGreymon

Somehow, this is the largest image I can find of this official art. It's even smaller than the pics I've been using for the others. If anyone has links to some truly high-resolution official Digimon art, please let me know. The ones in the comments are broken.

Anyway, if Agumon was clearly the Charmander of Digimon (and arguably the Pikachu, as well), then MetalGreymon is probably the Charmeleon. (WarGreymon would be Charizard)

Greymon sucks because he's just a big dumpy T-rex and nobody cares, but MetalGreymon is a cyborg dragon and everybody loved him. The way he has exposed metal circuits on his tail is like those "battle damage" variants of action figures I used to beg my mom to buy in Target. Because yes, it's important that I have both a regular Batman, and a Batman with parts of his armor torn off and scars and shit. That sense of "damaged, but repaired" extends to his wings, which are inexplicably tattered.

The final bit we have to talk about is the little feather-hair coming up from the back of his helmet - that was all over the place on Digimon, for some reason. The helmet covering the top half of the face is an even more common motif, but how come they all had feathers? What the hell was that about?

Favorite Digimon #15 - Myotismon

[Adam Sandler vampire noises]

I may have sided with Werewolves on the Splatoon 2 Splatfest last weekend, but that was only because of my main girl Marina. I'm definitely partial to vampires in most cases, because despite the best efforts of hundreds of terrible young-adult novels and subsequent terrible movie adaptions, they're still pretty cool.

And Myotismon brings his own twist to the classic design - sure, there's the pale skin, fangs, and high collar, but you don't often see vampires with dress-military outfits. Nor do they usually sport masquerade masks, especially ones with bonus bat ears coming off the sides. Those Digi-tastic lanky proportions help him stand out too, and we can't ignore that swanky golden bat bowtie.

I like the repetition of the bat symbol motif, he's clearly a big Batman fan.

Favorite Digimon #16 - MetalEtemon

Does Etemon remind anyone else of Zack from Dead or Alive?

Etemon in the show was a hoot, I'm always a fan of the villains who are overtly entertainers, who make everything into a big performance at all times. Sounding like Johnny Bravo was just icing on the cake.

So taking all that, and then making him shiny and chrome, and adding some GAINZ? What a champ. MetalEtemon's teeth are solid gold, he doesn't even need grills. But mainly I think I like him because he's simple like Frigamon - all one color, just a shiny brolic monkey. Honestly I'd like him even more if he ditched the plushie, belts, and studs, but such things are obviously necessary symbols of fashion in the Digi-world.

Favorite Digimon #17 - Machinedramon

can we get a shoot-out between this guy and Blastoise please???

Back on track with super badasses, we got Machinedramon. Giant mechanical dragon with huge cannons, sounds like a winner to me. He was one of the Four Dark Masters in the show, and they were all really evil and cool.

I mean, is there anything else I need to say? Not every one of these guys needs a damn essay to justify it, his coolness is just self-evident. Machinerdramon is awesome. If you don't like it, you can go chew rocks.

Favorite Digimon #18 - Sukamon

shout-outs to Ed Roth

Look, this guy was one of my favorites as a little kid and I still don't really know why. I even drew comics about him and stuff. I guess, like most little boys, I thought gross-out stuff was awesome? And Sukamon is certainly grotesque. In Japan, he's clearly supposed to be yellow poop, but I don't think I even realized that back then. (of course, modern kids will be familiar with the poop emoji, and recognize East Asia's established shorthand for poo-poo)

So this one's a nostalgia pick for sure, but I kinda like how apologetically weird he is. His lower jaw is entirely unattached to the rest of his body, and his teeth go all the way around, which is crazy. Oh, and what's up with that ugly ratfink on his shoulder, anyway? Or am I the only one who can see him? He looks like a hallucination.

Favorite Digimon #19 - Wizardmon

Black Mage ain't got nothin on this

Wizard hats like this are something I used to think were dopey, but now I think are kinda neat. They're not traditional "cool", but you can make them work. And Wizardmon absolutely does.

But mainly I love how his body is a jumpsuit, and the zippers are open and there's NOTHING INSIDE!!!!!! or maybe just mysterious darkness?????

Either way I love it. The runes on the inside of the cloak are a nice touch, and check out that oogie-boogie face on his knee. Wizardmon looks like a really cool character from one of those obscure, Japan-only, late-90's RPGs.

Favorite Digimon #20 - WereGarurumon

"Like Garurumon, but teenage, and badass."

We're clearly in the thick of it now. WereGarurumon checks all the boxes - asymmetry, skull-and-crossbones, belts, zippers, scars, spikes, bandage wrappings, he's got it all. You can even count the brass knuckles as fist-studs if you want. I had a toy of him that could turn into Garurumon, but WereGarurumon is so much cooler I never transformed them, just played with the Ultimate form.

I'm also coming to realize there's something appealing to me about the proportions of all the more humanoid Digimon - very long arms and legs, wide shoulders, smaller torsos. Between that and the checklist above, there's almost more design consistency in Digimon than Pokemon - a lot of people (myself included) can point at Pokes and go "now that doesn't look like a Pokemon", but it's always unmistakable when something is a Digimon, for better or for worse.

What I'm trying to say is, WereGarurumon - out of all the Digimon in the world, you're the Digimon-iest. Or maybe Digimost is the proper phrasing?

Favorite Digimon #21 - MetalKabuterimon

Not the first, or last time the Metal- prefix will appear on this list

J.P. was my favorite character in Frontier, because he wasn't saddled with the dumb angst of the leads. He was comic relief, but actually pretty strong, too. And he turned into an awesome Beetleborg.

So it stands to reason that his Beast form would be even cooler, right? And it is.

For a guy who likes bugs, and also tanks, and also robots, this is pretty much the best thing. The horn being a cannon is brilliant, and I really dig the look of the treads and shoulders, too. MetalKabuterimon isn't about agility or physical strength at all, he's just a mobile gun battery with enough firepower to absolutely raze a small town.