Beta No. 234: Plux

Shoutouts to Herculeskabuterimon.

In the beta, an evolution to Pinsir was considered, to mirror Scyther's Scizor. Which sounds cool! But also, it means no Heracross. Which is less cool.

And if I'm forced to pick between Heracross or Plux, I gotta side with my main man. Plux is kinda neat and Pinsir feels like he deserves something (we do NOT talk about that ugly ass Mega), but I do have questions here. Namely, why the mask? It's creeping me out, not gonna lie. Makes it look like one of the Angels from Neon Genesis Evangelion.


Overall: 7/10

Beta No. 233: Scizor

Just a recolored Scizor?

Well... yeah, maybe.

But I think it's different enough to warrant talking about! I like how the head more closely resembles Scyther, plus obviously the coloring. This beta version was a bit more bulky, compared to Scizor's sleek curves. And the claws have more convincing eyes, though the effect is somehow goofier. Honestly I can't say this would have been better than what we got, but I don't think I like it any less. It's equally badass, just in a different way. The Scyther bloodline remains strong, no matter what timeline!


Overall: 10/10

Beta No. 232: Happi

Happi Happi Joi Joi~

It's proto-Blissey! That's about all you need to know, really.


Though it's odd, since Chansey and Blissey put their faces up high on their egg-shaped bodies, it gave the appearance of age. Compared to Happi, who looks "younger" just because the face is larger compared to the body. Odd choice for an evolution.

The one thing I like here is how it's wearing dual egg holsters, like it's about to quick-draw some yolk. And that giant heart seems on-the-nose (this Pokemon has a lot of HP and healing moves!!) but it's better than just being a big featherey egg, at least.


Overall: 4/10

Beta No. 230: Pangshi

He hopped... then he hopped... then he hopped again!!

OK now we're cooking with fire! For those who don't know, a Jiangshi is a Chinese vampire, basically. They're reanimated corpses, but rigor mortis has set in and they're so stiff they have to hop around to move, holding their arms outstretched. The paper talisman affixed to their head are either (ineffective) magical seals, or essentially the address of the deceased's proper burial ground, which the body is attempting to return to. It depends on the myth, of course.


And fusing that concept with a panda, for the sake of a pun, is GENIUS. This artwork here kinda misses the point, a Pangshi would most likely not be able to sit down like this, but hey. Undead hopping panda, what more do you want? I really wish this one had been real.


Overall: 9/10

Beta No. 229: Kurstraw

I love that voodoo that you do so well.

More Ghost pokemon? Sign me right up. Gen 2 was miserable on this count, we only got Misdreavus. A voodoo doll makes for a great base.

Also, it reminds me of the animation for the move Curse, dontcha think? Which was always strange, that's the purpose of a ???-type move that works differently for Ghost-types? Because it's a neat gimmick move, but doesn't really deserve being so special in its classification.

Back to Kurstraw, I like it a lot! Not doing much besides just being a straw voodoo dummy with ears, but that's enough for me.


Overall: 7/10

Beta No. 228: Madame

enormous bitch energy

Madame is the cancelled evolution of Farfetch'd, who always stood out as an odd duck (ha) without much purpose in the game, who only became more irrelevant as the years passed and the gutters clogged and overflowed up with Normal/Flying losers. That outstretched hand looks like she's throwing up a gang sign. I gotta be honest - I thought Swanna was the bitchiest bird ever, but madame has it beat.


Which makes it funny that the artist here decided to make it a cool ninja duck, or something. And credit to them, it does look kinda cool! I wouldn't mess with a pissed off duck in a mask, reverse-gripping a leeksword. But seems like clearly the opposite direction Gamefreak was going. All in all, it's still just a duck with a leek, but both takes give it personality. And I can respect a duck with personality.


Overall: 7/10

Wednesday Ramble

Haven't done one of these in a while, but let's talk about that new Pokemon game, huh?

First, let me say how glad I am that the environments aren't stuck on a grid like Let's Go Pikachu/Eevee. People said they were only like that because it was a retro remake, and I think that's still a bullshit reasoning, but at least it hasn't infected the mainline series. Galar looks like the terrain has contours and gradients, it's an extension of Sun/Moon's aesthetic.

With that said, I'm still disappointed Gamefreak has once again refused to take that next step in terms of presentation of the world. The camera appears locked at a fixed angle again, and you'll be funneled through clear routes. I'm not saying Pokemon needs to become Breath of the Wild and turn into a completely open-ended game that tosses you into the world with no direction, but I do think it's about damn time the games stepped up to where Ocarina of Time was 20 years ago.

Pokemon Gen 8 Starters revealed

Pokemon's coming home.



So they revealed Pokemon Sword & Shield today, and you can turn to more reputable sites for the juicy details. I'm just here to give my first thoughts on the new starters.

Grookey looks like a rascal, we've had a grass monkey before (twice if you count lemurs as monkeys) and I loved it, so here's hoping he evolves into something cool!

Scorbunny looks like an Olympic mascot, or something. He's a footballer hooligan, and will probably be yet another Fire/Fighter. But that's because it's a combo that works, so.

Sobble is the surprised Pikachu meme. He's got personality, at least. We've had water amphibians before, but I like salamanders, so I'm excited to see what he turns into.

You might notice that my take on all of these is basically "I wonder what the final evolution will be", and that's because I care about those a LOT more than the base forms! None of these look offensively bad to me, though they all look like Fakemon. But of course, I've thought that about every new generation since 5, so hey.


Which one would you pick?

Beta No. 227: Electygre

The tiger

He destroyed his cage

Yes

YES

The tiger is out

Look, Electygre is another very good boy. But I think the sprite is unfinished - where are his stripes? Aside from that, there's not much difference from Tigrette. Electygre is just bigger. So while this line would 100% be on my team in a hypothetical Beta Johto run, I'm gonna have to dock a point here.


Overall: 9/10

Beta No. 226: Tigrette

anyone else remember that Texaco U.S. Olympic Animals commercial?


I think we can all agree that this good round boy is our collective son.

I mean really, what more do you want? He's a sparky tiger orb, that's perfect and I love him. If I was in a bad mood I might say that the lightning bolt on his belly is redundant, because his coloring and zig-zag tail already clearly sell the "Electric" theme, but I'm not gonna do my boy like that. He deserves the world, and then some.

Overall: 10/10