No. 159: Croconaw

Wilma, I'm Ho-oooome!!

Seriously, why does Croconaw have a Fred Flinstone-esque pattern? What the hell is that even supposed to be? An egg shell? This isn't the baby leagues, why would he have an eggshell.

Maybe they're making a reference to how Totodile's excited jumping in the air is reminiscent of how Fred would click his heel when he got happy and stuff. Or maybe they want to make Croconaw a household symbol of classic animation. Or maybe they want to cache in on the cereal-eating crowd.

Or maybe it just looks stupid and I hate it.

Overall: 2/10

No. 158: Totodile

Just look at this little spazz

Totodile has way too much energy. He's always hopping, and gurgling, and biting things, and generally causing a ruckus. So he's basically a toddler.

And toddlers, while intensely cute, are also insufferably annoying.

Totodile looks fine, but I just would NOT want him hanging around me all the time.

Overall: 5/10

No. 157: Typhlosion

HELL YESSSSSSSSSSSS

Typlosion is sick. His name is basically typhoon + explosion, which makes it the coolest thing ever, and just look at that pose. Legs akimbo, a collar of fire erupting from his neck, he shouts in defiance to the heavens.

I HAVE JUST OHKO'D A GYARADOS WITH FLAME WHEEL. I COULD SOLO THE ENTIRE GAME IF YOU WOULD BUT LET ME. THERE WERE NONE BEFORE ME, AND THERE SHALL BE NONE LIKE ME AGAIN. I AM TYPHLOSION. YOU ARE ALL LITERALLY INCAPABLE OF HANDLING ME.

The great tragedy of our age is how he was misrepresented in Pokemon Battle Revolution. This was a Wii game, remember. And somehow, they couldn't scrounge up a better flame collar effect.

Look how they massacred my boy.

Overall: 10/10

No. 156: Quilava

Like Cyndaquil, but leaner and meaner!

And that makes him better. He looks much more streamlined, and looks like he knows what he's doing. Whereas Cyndaquil probably pisses himself with surprise every time he actually shoot fire, which coincidentally also happens whenever he pisses himself.

The only thing is, he doesn't look much like a porcupine or hedgehog anymore. He look more like some sort of ferret, or stoat. Is a stoat a thing? I think they were in The Wind in the Willows. Nevermind.

So as far as middle-stage evolutions go, he's pretty good.

Overall: 8/10

No. 155: Cyndaquil

This guy reminds me of pepper.

I'm not sure exactly what kind of animal Cyndaquil was inspired by, but he looks pretty cool. I like how his flames shoot out like spikes when he gets excited, instead of just burning constantly.

oh wait, quill. spines. He's a porcupine, isn't he? Huh, I guess I never actually noticed that before.

I don't like his squinty eyes, though. He either looks deliriously happy, or like he needs glasses. Any it's hard to tell if he's asleep, which is important when you need to sneak up on Pokemon while they're napping.

Overall: 7/10

No. 154: Meganium

And then the brontosaurus stuck its fool head through the giant flower, and wore it like a ruff.

Man, what happened to that leaf? Now we have antennae? What the hell? Where did those come from?

Whatever. Meganium is still okay, but it doesn't have the cute of a first-stage, or the epic of a final-stage. It feels a little plain.

I must admit that I like the progression of leaves to buds to flowers that Meganium finishes, but it's not enough to make it a great Pokemon.

Overall: 5/10

No. 153: Bayleef

That's a really cool looking leaf right there..

I mean, that leaf looks pretty badass. It's all sharp and stuff, with a neat circular notch in it. But I'm not sure why green bread is stuck all around Bayleef's neck.

Aside from the leaf-sword, however, there is not much to Bayleef. It looks a little awkward, as is common among middle-evolutions, similar to how the human species looks its most awkward during the Middle School years.

Screw Middle School, seriously.

Overall: 6/10

No. 152: Chikorita

Second Generation, here we come!!

Aww, look at this cutie. A pear you can pet!

Chikorita loves Ash in the anime, and is very possessive about him, which kinda reminds me of my cat. She's all about the cuddling.

so I'll be bold - Chikorita is a better starter than Bulbasaur.

Overall: 10/10

The worst Gen 1 pokemon

Man, these guys just suck.

5. Dragonite
4. Seel
3. Tentacool
2. Parasect
1. Pidgey

There seem to be two types of horrible Pokemon: those that are uninspired and basically just a regular animal, and those that are ugly and stupid and lame and I hate them.

But at least the ugly ones tend to be rare, while the uninspired ones tend to be the most common.

Pidgey, I am looking right in your feathery face right now.

The best Gen 1 Pokemon

Someone asked for me to rank my Top Ten 10/10 Pokemon, so here they are.

1. Haunter
2. Scyther
3. Machamp
4. Pinsir
5. Blastoise
6. Magmar
7. Charizard
8. Machop
9. Abra
10. Hitmonlee


HOWEVER, this is only the 1st Generation Top Ten. There are quite a few Pokemon in the subsequent generations that would have made it into my all-time Top Ten, which will probably have to wait until I've covered every singe generation.

What about you guys? What are you favorite 1st Gen Pokemon?