Monday, August 29, 2011

gone again herp derp

Yeah, I'm gonna see you guys in a week. I apologize for this month having so few updates, but I thank you for sticking with me.

No. 264: Linoone

oh jesus are they even trying

This is just literally another Furret. It's just got stripes going the other way, but it's a Furret.

There is absolutely nothing to get excited about with Linoone, except to maybe make fun of its stupid name. Reminds me of linoleum, and Linoone is even duller than that.

When you think of re-hashed ideas, boring Pokemon, and needless redundant creations, you should think of Linoone. Him and his ilk are the bane of the 3rd and 4th generations.

Overall: 1/10

Sunday, August 28, 2011

No. 263: Zigzaagoon

I think you zigged when you should've zagged


Just what the hell is this guy supposed to be, anyway. A raccoon? That's what the name suggests, but I don't remember raccoons being associated with tiny paws and spiky fur. The thing looks a lot more like a dog of some sort, or maybe a small bear. Perhaps a badger?

But not a raccoon. Whatever, that doesn't matter much. The point is, we have another two-stage Normal type. We've already seen Rattata and Sentret, so how does Ziggy here compare?

Well, he's stripey like Sentret, and also looks like a stuffed animal, like Sentret. Also colored like Sentret. Frig, are we sure this isn't just another Sentret? I think it is. Except this one is uglier. eww.

Overall: 4/10

Saturday, August 27, 2011

No. 262: Mightyena

ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL

Mightyena may not be full-emo, but he is at least angsty. You don't have under-eye markings like that for nothing. And his hair looks like a big mass of greasy hair that he just draped over his back.

All in all, he reminds me of some sort of OC from Deviantart. You know, probably named Fang or Slash, and he's have a brother who is all white with red hair tips, named Moon or something, and then a female with preposterous amounts of eyelashes for a wolf, and beads in her hair.

Urg, I frigging hate that kind of shit. Wolves are kinda cool, but not anthropomorphic talking wolves with a society and drama and shit. Like those books about warrior cats or whatever, shut up, cats are cute and awesome, but they don't have DEEP DRAMA. Get over yourself.

Overall: 3/10

Friday, August 26, 2011

No. 261: Poochyena

remember those robotic Poochie dogs? those were annoying.


Finally, a early-route Pokemon that isn't Normal or Normal-Flying! It may function similarly, in that you'll catch one, but then never bother to train it much because you get better things fairly soon, but it's kind of nice to not have the same rodents over and over again.

Of course, you still have those damn Pidgeys all over the place, but...

anyway, Poochyena is a feisty little dog. He's just an angry puppy, and his design carries that out well I think. Lots of jagged lines reinforcing his sharp demeanor or something. He isn't particularly great, but I'd much rather find him in some grass than a Rattata or a Sentret.

Overall: 7/10

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

No. 260: Swampert

This guy can wreck shit.


Like Quagsire before him, he's got a great typing. All he needs to really worry about is Grass, but who runs a Grass-type? He gets to use both Surf and Earthquake. Hell, he even learns Hammer Arm.

Except unlike Quagsire, he has unarguably good stats. The best of any starter Pokemon, in fact. Long story short: Mudkip's come a long way, and he heard that there were a few People who didn't like him. So watch the hell out.

As for his design... eh. I can live with it, but it isn't exactly great. I don't know what those orange lumps are on his arms, and now he has not one, not three, but TWO spikes on each cheek, but he looks alright.


Overall: 8/10

Sunday, August 21, 2011

No. 259: Marshtomp

I'm back, baby.


And I don't give a rat's ass about this little turd.

Or rather, I don't have any opinion whatsoever. I don't really remember him that well, but he doesn't look incredibly stupid either. Just another example of a lackluster middle evolution.

also, I totally thought his name had an "r" in it, like Marshtromp. but it seems I was mistaken.

Overall: 5/10

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Vacation Time

I'm going to the Orange Islands (Okay, Hawai'i) and so updates will be sporadic, and perhaps not at all for the next two weeks. But rest assured, I'll be back on track once I get back.

It's too bad this is happening now, when things are fine, and the Pokemon are good, because things get really stupid in the bowels of Gen 3.

No. 258: Mudkip

SO.... I HERD U LIEK MUDKIPS?

There we go.

I don't think I have anything to say about the tired old meme that you would want to hear, so I won't. The meme was funny once, but not really anymore. So no points on that count. But can the infamous Mudkips survive on their own merit?

yes, actually. Mudkip is some sort of amphibian that I guess lives in the mud and water and also on land I guess? Are those mudpuppies or something? in any case, they make for adorable Pokemon.

Mudkips are silly and lovable, and are the rare Pokemon that is based off an amphibian that isn't a frog.


Overall: 8/10

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

No. 257: Blaziken

A day may come when the courage of men fails, when the Fire starter is lame, and the Fire/Fighting combo is overplayed, but it is not this day.


This is the day when the Fire starter has been the obvious choice for three generations running. Blaziken kicks an almost obscene amount of ass. Capoeira pants for kicking bitches, gauntlets of fire, a dragonian face-mask, basically 10 pounds of kick-ass in a 5 pound sack.

and I use the word kick with good meaning. Blaziken, like Sanji, Hitmonlee and Elena, does nothing but kick. Kick kick kick, from dawn until dusk, noon until night, kick kick kick, Blaziken is all about the kicking, couldn't be anything but kicking, couldn't be any more kicking, that's all it does, kick kick kick, Blaziken is kicking.


also, check this weird shit out:

some sort of Blaziken/Latias lovechild or something. That shit is whack. But regular Blaziken rocks.


Overall: 10/10

Monday, August 1, 2011

No. 256: Combusken

Hey, you got Fire in my Fighting!
Hey, you got Fighting in my Fire!

And so a glorious combination was created.

Fire/Fighting just works. It is obviously about offense, which means it is a type combo for sweepers. Fire-types can also be Sp. Atk, so you get Pokemon that do both physical and special damage. Plus, Fire and Fighting are badass types. All in all, this combo breeds awesome, useful Pokemon for in-game play.

It gets over-saturated later, but that's for another generation.

Combusken is actually pretty neat looking, if it weren't for that dopey little beak. If it had more of an aquiline beak, it would be much better. But still, lacking the fire.

Overall: 7/10