Beta No. 162: Noctowl

sometimes an egg can be an owl
               
I've never really liked Noctowl, and this seems like a massive improvement. Keeping the single-foot theme of Hoot-hoot is a good idea.


I mean, it's still another Normal/Flying, but at least it's slightly more interesting than the one we got. Though somehow it reminds me of a Mega Man enemy, I'm not sure why.


Overall: 5/10

Beta No. 160: Aquarius

Shoutouts to all the 5th Dimension fans in the house! How's retirement treating you?

why does this sprite look like Charizard, but without arms or wings, and Poliwag's tail?


oh, that's more clear! thanks! Still kinda underwhelming, but boy do I miss that style of drawing jaws and eyes. Lemme put it this way: If we'd got Aquarius instead of Feraligatr, I can see a lot of kids picking him, but I would still go for Dynabear or Typhlosion. And all things considered, I'm glad we got the Water starter we did.


Overall: 6/10

Beta No. 159: Aqua

Damn Kingdom Hearts up in here

Thankfully, we've passed the era where Pokemon names could just be actual real words with little-to-no change. Nowadays, it would be "Aquon" or something.


But my question is, what's this bitch so smug about??? The sprite looks like he's looking over his shoulder, but the artist interpreted it as a full-on sneer. Look here, buddy: you're about 4 flimsy flippers away from being a Dragonair clone, and that could be arranged in short order if you don't wipe that smirk off your face.


Overall: 4/10

Beta No. 158: Cruz

If this guy were real, I would not be able to resist naming him Soma.

According to the Mandate of Heaven, every Pokemon fakedex must include some sort of Plesiosaur, and the Spaceworld demo is no exception. Seriously, why do I feel like I've seen this exact design a dozen times before!?


I suppose the similarities to Dratini come into play, as well. Cruz definitely feels like a 1997-era Pokemon, in the best ways. And because I am a rotting hypocrite, I love the design because I know it was "official" (at least at one point), even though I'd mock a fangame's attempt to do the exact same thing. Sue me.


Overall: 9/10

First Gen 8 Pokemon

I held off on it until the official confirmation, but here we are: the recently revealed Meltan!

I sure hope you guys aren't tired of Regular-Objects-But-Alive yet. I also hope you aren't tired of Ditto recolored but with other crap added on. Which would be weird if you were, because we haven't seen that before, but it's sure what we're seeing today.

I'm reserving a full review for the eventual launch of the game, but I'm hoping this isn't gonna be representative of the overall Pokemon quality this gen.

Beta No. 157: Dynabear

Oh NOW we're cookin

If you thought Arcanine was the only giant fluffy flaming canidae, you've got another think coming! Major kudos to the artist for interpreting what could have been a blurry mess of pixels.


Again, I question the "bear", but I do not question the result. You can tell he's ready to beat somebody's ass, just look at his eyes. And he'll look fabulous doing it, thank-you-very-much. And check that burning tongue of fire on his forehead, he's looking like Tsuna from Katekyo Hitman Reborn except not a total pussy.

I'm actually upset we never got Dynabear, as much as I love Typhlosion. I say bring him back in Gen 8. And if you really want to make my entire life? FLAMING MANE. c'mon, please. I need this.


Overall: 10/10

Beta No. 156: Volbear

Are we sure these are really bears?

I mean, it's in the name, but I've never known a bear to sit like a dog and have quite so much... hair. But hey, that's what makes it a Pokemon, baby!


I mean look at this Good Boy! So fierce and loyal, got that fang action going on, I want to pet his belly and comb his hair. The only drawback is that butt-flame is looking anemic, give this boy some gasoline to drink, STAT.


Overall: 9/10

Beta No. 155: Flambear

Now bear with me on this one...

I wonder what the "Every fire starter is part of the chinese zodiac" conspiracy theorists would say about this one. Maybe the fact they changed it is proof? But I've always thought the fact that Fennekin (a fox, not a dog) and Cyndaquil (a porcupine, not a mouse) disproved it already.

Regardless, this lil' guy is alright. Kind of a Pika-clone, just firey. that Darkflame tail is wild, but I'm a fan of open flames on Fire starters in any capacity. And you know what, I'll say it - I miss these kind of eyes. It's gonna be fun going through these Beta-mons, to relive that early-gen design ethos.


Overall: 5/10

Beta No. 152: Blossomole

Thank you for participating in my test, to see how I could totally annihilate my readership by disappearing for several months at a time. The results were as expected.

But I'm back now, and we're talking about that beta that got leaked a while back.

So first off, this is what was sitting in place of Bayleef. Yeah, Chikorita and Meganium are still the same as ever, but in-between is... a ditto in a flower. Honestly, I wonder if this was a remnant of an even older trio (since we see that Cyndaquil and Totodile's lines are completely different) that had no resemblance to the Chikorita line at all, and for some reason they were in the middle of coming up with the new line, but couldn't think of a new mid-stage, so just left it in.

Otherwise, I don't understand it at all.


I don't know if yellow is really the right color to use for Blossomole, since the sprite is green, but if the theory about it being a hold-over from a prehistoric line is true, maybe they were yellow? I don't know. I don't care. Let him be yellow and let's all just move on with our lives, because everybody knows Blossomole sucks. Little dancing man hiding in a flower with a target on his chest, get that shit outta here.


Overall: 1/10

Gold/Silver Beta Reviews

I'm back, and I want to talk about those un-used beta designs, from the 1997 Spaceworld demo. I'll be looking at the actual sprites, as well as artistic interpretations. I'll keep this post floated, so everybody knows what's going on.

some other clarifications and qualifications -

• All the Sugimori-style artwork was taken from this video, and you can check out the links in that description to follow the artists.
• We only know the mono-color palettes for these Beta-mons. The actual Gold/Silver games would use multi-colored sprites, but we just have to guess at what the actual intended colors would have been for these.
• The names are also unofficial, obviously. But there's really only one set of fan-translated names people use, so I'm rolling with those. If you want to know the original Japanese names, you can look 'em up.
• I wanted to wait until the beta got fully translated so I could play it, but that didn't happen, so I have no say in terms of stats or usefulness or anything.
• I won't be tagging these as "pokemon", or including them in the type tags. This is because they're not actual Pokemon, and so I don't want people confused if they go searching through the archives.
• The most interesting ones are of course the completely un-used Pokemon, but I'll also cover the beta-designs of existing Pokemon, if I think the differences are significant.

And finally, while I may rag on some of these designs, I'm not criticizing the artist at all. For the most part, the artwork does a great job of bringing the sprite to life (er, to paper) and the shit I talk is directed at Gamefreak's concept, not the drawing itself. The reason I don't bother to temper my rage with the actual official artwork is because Gamefreak has no excuses if something looks dumb. They've got all the money and time in the world to polish a design and then render it perfectly in art and model, so when they make a mess of things I have no sympathy.