No. 726: Torracat

If you were on the Detroit Lions, would you be pissed about having to play every Thanksgiving? Discuss.

Torracat is just a bigger Litten, and there's nothing wrong with that! Though the outline around his eyes makes him look even more like something outta Hanna-Barbera.

Since I don't really have much else to say, let me just mention how the touch-your-Pokemon feature is a lot better implemented this time around. I didn't bother with it at all in XY, but here, when you can access it immediately after battle and even use it to heal status effects, I use it all the time. You can call me David Cop-a-feel because my hands are all over these Pokemon.

And it's funny how Torracat's little bell collar thingie burns your hand. Attention to detail is nice!


Overall: 6/10

No. 725: Litten

shit was lit af

I just got a new cat in real life not too long ago. He's a troublemaker, always getting at the blinds, trying to knock things off shelves, etc. So I felt obligated to pick Litten this time around, even though he's nothing special.

The tufts of fur seems too even to me, I'd prefer something a little more natural-looking, but this is modern Pokemon after all. And I like his eyes, heavy-lidded with disdain for the world. So cynical at such a young age.

Honestly, Litten is kinda boring, but he's not doing anything wrong (unlike my cat. Bad kitty, bad! Stop chewing on that!!) so I guess he's alright.


Overall: 6/10

No. 724: Decidueye

I can only imagine how many kids are getting into fights over how to pronounce this name. Dyslexic kid can only cry.

So, Grass/Ghost, huh? Why? Just 'cuz? okay...

I dunno you guys, this one feels sorta Digimon-esque to me. Could see it named Robinmon or Sherwoodmon or something. Also, I've identified something else that just felt "off" about Chesnaught last gen - it's not a reptile thing. All the previous Grass starters have been like dinosaurs or snakes or lizards or whatever, somehow it just doesn't feel right to see a bird up here. And I know everybody and their mother has been inventing Grass-owl starters for years but I've never really been a fan. Not as a starter.

It's a fine design, and I get the theme of feather/arrow/darts. I also get how they're doing another RPG-Job-Class trio, and I just don't know if I really like that either.

I don't hate Decidueye by any means, the design isn't bad, it's just not "Pokemon". I think I need to put him in the same category as Golurk and Bisharp. Get him his own game that's more Fantasy-RPG with animal characters and less collectible-pets.

Overall: 5/10

Pokemon Moon First Thoughts Vol. 3

Beat the second Kahuna, now I'm about to go fly to the Aether HQ to probably have them lie to my faces and tell me that they aren't secretly evil. Because Lillie was totally helping Nebby escape in the opening, and because the only people who wear all-white are yakuza or Klansmen.

-Can we talk about how saturated with Best Girls this game is? I mean, Gamefreak has always been on the leading edge of waifu technology, but I just went through that section where Plumeria, Lillie, Burnet, and Olivia come up to you in quick succession and dang.

-It didn't hurt that I'm playing the female avatar, either. I thought her little hat was too cute to pass up, and I'm having some fun dressing up and stuff. But I wish we could use any of the clothes options the NPC trainers get, that would be cool.

-Not many new additions to the squad, just Sizzle the Salandit and Skullomania the Cubone. The latter of which ran roughshod over the fire trial, one-hitting everything. I've heard people say Totem Salazzle was a hard fight, but I mean... Bonemerang. I wasn't even overleveled.

-Totem Lurantis made up for it, though. I still won, but I was getting pissed from all its Synthesis bullshit. And then its Trumbeak tagalong spamming supersonic, yeesh.

-Have I mentioned how good the music is in this game yet? I could listen to Konikoni Town's theme all day.

Pokemon Moon First Thoughts Vol. 2

Finished off Melemele, completed the first trial on Alaka, and am now ready to go into that volcano park.

-I still am not a fan of taking control away from me every area to give a little cut-scene, I just want to be left alone to wander and figure stuff out.

-but this game is funny, though! Team Skull is a hoot, Lillie keeps getting lost, and professor Kukui is like Ric Flair meets Randy Savage.

-caught some new Pokemon:
Ponyo the Wishiwashi
Orchid the Fomantis
Sooki the Mudbray
Exxon the Grimer
ACDC the Grubbin
(and a bunch of ones from past games, just out of habit)

-I love how they've replaced HMs with these partner Pokemon. Good riddance to HM slaves. Also, did they turn down the encounter rate while surfing, too?

-Accidentally went into that Fantasy Festival Plaza thing. I had no goddamn clue what was going on, people just kept asking me questions I couldn't possibly know the answer to, confetti everywhere, it's my responsibility, Cinderella's castle in the background, fat Greek kid shouting at me, people running back and forth rearranging folding chairs until somebody gets hurt, it was like a David Lynch film. I'm never going back.

No. 723: Dartrix

Look at this Arin Hanson-looking punk.

Rowlet was cute, but Dartrix is full of shit, apparently. Thinks he's God's gift to owls or something. Well, the fact is, you look like you have a shaggy brown beard and a green mustache, so yeah. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

I guess he's not too bad, but that little hair flip pisses me the piss off. I think we all knew a kid in middle school who thought he was so anime he could get away with it, except he totally wasn't.


Overall: 5/10

No. 722: Rowlet

get ready to hoot and patoot


First off, Rowlet looks dead and stuffed in this artwork. But as I've said, these days you kind of have to factor in the in-game model and animations. They don't just leave it all on the table with the artwork anymore, which I kinda don't approve of, you ought to be able to communicate everything you need to know about a Pokemon with a single image, but.

and Rowlet is pretty dang cute in the game! He's got an adorable little bow-tie, and rolls his head all around. I still think they could've given him less creepy eyes, but it's a fine effort anyway. Probably the best-looking starter this time around (but we'll get to the much-more-important Final stages later...)


Overall: 8/10

Pokemon Moon First Thoughts Vol. 1

Picked up the game last night. I've been busy so I'm only about 5 hours deep, but it's not like I want to rush this anyway. I like to take my time and enjoy it, island-style, ya dig?

-I really like how the environments feel less blocky. We went to full-3D movement with XY, but you could tell it was still designed on a grid. But right away in Moon, I see paths that curve around, and the patches of grass feel especially natural.

-With that said, the technical limitations of the 3DS are on full display. The models themselves are fine, but that pixel resolution, forced outline, lack of anti-aliasing, and often terrible texture quality are very noticeable. I've heard rumors of a version for the Switch, and honestly it feels like about time Pokemon stepped into the modern realm of graphics. The utter abandonment of 3D is funny to me as well, but I guess it only served to create more lag, huh?

-I like how they're actually committed to the Hawai'ian theme. Last game was in "France" but it didn't really feel particularly French to me - the people were too polite, and smelled too good! This time, there's tan skin aplenty, and I see slang like Howzit thrown around. I'm glad they didn't go overboard and try and full Pidgin it, but it's nice! Can't wait til I get to Kauai, where I lived.

-damn there are a lot of cut-scenes and hand-holding. I just want to play the dang game already but bitches keep hassling me every 10 feet to tell me about some cool new feature and hand me an exp share or something.

-I try to run a team of only new pokemon for a first playthrough of a game, but so far I've hardly met any new ones! I've got a Litten, named Rocky after my irl cat, a Pikipek named Papaya (who just evolved into Trumbeak actually), and I'm filling out the rest with an Alolan Meowth named Bad News, Wight Lady the Gastly, Perry the Wingull, and Avedakedavra the Abra.

-the music is pretty neat, too. I dig the little jingle for picking up items, it's really keeping in theme!

SUN AND MOON ARE HERE

Guess who's back, back again. NAPACE is back, tell a friend.

That's right, people. The new games are finally here, so finally I can start digging into this new generation and telling you which ones suck. Last time, when X and Y released, I wanted to hold off for a while, so I could play the dang game and get to know the Pokemon involved. And I still think it's important to see how a Pokemon feels in-game before making a final judgement about it, especially now that so many Pokemon take advantage of the 3D animations to display parts of their design that aren't readily apparent in their artwork.

But, it feels like it's been so long since I've had anything to post, that I'm itching to just get started. Hopefully I can play at a faster rate than I can review (and longtime readers know I can review at a pretty damn slow clip if I put my mind to it).

Gen 7 Plans

So, like I did with Gen 6, I'm going to wait until Sun and Moon come out and I've played them a bit before I go in on the ratings. Especially don't want to jump in and conclusively rate peeps when I haven't even seen their full evolutionary line yet.

Though I gotta say, so far I'm not getting a good feeling about the new crop. Nobody jumps out at me yet, and a few seem actively terrible. I hope to be proven wrong, but I guess we'll see! Looking forward to the Alola region, though. Finally a game is set in a place I've lived, so it'll be cool to see what they do with the landmarks and culture and stuff.

In other news, how bout dat Pokemon Go? Seems really simplistic, but it's a neat idea at least. I want to see Pokemon from more than just Gen 1, too.