Hisuian Goodra

Wide Load Comin' Thru

See, now we've got a bit of the opposite problem - Goodra was the only member of its line that truly deserved its Dragon typing, but now it's doubled down on the snail motif to justify its Steel typing. Which I support on one hand, because consistency in evolution is key, but on the other hand... doesn't it look unbalanced? Like it can barely move? Hell, I'd just remove the legs and go Full Snail.

also, what's up with that dripping mucus? It's metallic, cuz it's a Steel-type, I get that. But like... why? Is it dripping mercury? Is this some sort of Metal Slime I should kill for massive EXP? Or did somebody just greyscale Goodra and not care about the implications? idk why green slime is so much more acceptable to me than silver slime, but it just is.

As a result of all of this, I somehow like Hisuian Goodra less than the normal version.

Overall: 6/10

Hisuian Sliggoo

Gary, come home!

I'm going to say it - this is pretty much what Sliggoo should have been like from the start. Instead of a weird soft-shell-snail, just commit to the bit and give my man a nice shell to call his own. Look at him, homie just woke up. He's sleepy!

but I'm also going to say it again - why the fuck is this line Dragon at all? At the very least, it ought to have a Poison or Bug typing in there somewhere, right? Nope, although I'll buy Steel for the shell at least.

still, it's a cute lil' guy, and I like how he rolls around in his shell. An improvement, at the end of the day.

Overall: 7/10

No. 904: Overqwil

no I know where it was now, this is a Donkey Kong Country boss

Overqwil has a cool name, and that's the most positive thing I can say about it. I can't stop thinking about certain toys I would get as a kid, which never stood up because they were sculpted in an action pose, or designed with a weird bottom like this. Always pissed me off, when something only functions as a keychain. I want to stand it up with my other toys!

and in a similar vein, Overqwil pisses me off because of how ridiculous it looks out of the water. The idea of a big floating mine could work, but holy shit why did you have to make the top and bottom spikes so large?

Overall: 1/10

Hisuian Qwilfish

I swear I saw this in a New Super Mario Bros. game

Sometimes, they revisit iconic Pokemon and remix them into cool new regional forms. Other times, they pluck unpopular Pokemon from obscurity and try to rebrand them in the hopes of getting somebody, anybody, to care about them. Hisuian Qwilfish is the latter.

It's Dark/Poison now, and makes a big deal out of being Poisonous with its new signature move Barb Barrage, which is confusing because it was already Water/Poison. being Dark is the new part, but that's not where the emphasis lies?

The coolest thing about Hisuian Qwilfish is that it has the number 9 on its tail, representing the grand total of Qwilfish fans in the entire world.

Overall: 3/10

No. 903: Sneasler

Juri Han energy.

Whereas Weavile expanded upon the Sneasel theme horizontally, Sneasler takes the vertical approach. Fitting, because it's your mountain-climbing workhorse, as you ride in a silly little basket on its back. I didn't expect this to be a very useful mount, but the last few areas of the game are full of steep cliffs, designed with Sneasler in mind. I enjoyed getting my BotW on, clambering up and then jumping into flight with - ah, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Back to Sneasler. It took my advice, and adds a diabolical hot pink color to the mix of purple and grey. Truly the bad bitch of the Pokemon world, Sneasler looks a little bit silly with that massive noggin on that tiny little neck, but it's practically perfect besides that. While I still wouldn't trust one, I don't have a choice, hanging onto its back 600 feet in the air on the side of a mountain.

Overall: 9/10

Hisuian Sneasel

Here Comes Trouble™

Sneasel was an all-timer design. Hisuian Sneasel is also pretty good, mainly because it doesn't change much besides the paint job! And the new one does a better job selling the Poison aspect of its typing better than the old one did its Ice typing. (I'd say both are equally understood as Fighting and Dark)

if I'm allowed to nitpick, and that's literally my entire job at NAPACE, I think the feathers should have been another color besides Also Purple. Just to stand out more. But aside from that, excellent job. I wouldn't trust Hisuian Sneasel further than I could throw it, but I dig the design.

Overall: 9/10

Hisuian Avalugg

God of War type boss fight 

Hey, it's Avalugg! Everybody loves Avalugg, right? Well, would you love Avalugg even more if we made his legs dirty and stuck a snowplow to his face?

...no? you'd still respond with the same indifference you've always shown to Avalugg?

......oh well, I suppose it can't be helped! Hope you enjoy being 4x weak to Fighting and Steel!

Overall: 1/10

Hisuian Zoroark

so they're just running with the body horror, huh

it's gross as hell to see Hisuian Zoroark's raw muscles bulging out of its lacerated flesh, I can't lie. Who asked you to go that far, Gamefreak? Jesus Christ.

but the mass of writhing hair is cool as hell, and totally justifies being bloody instead of ghostly - this isn't a spirit, this is a goddamn zombie corpse.

however, once again the shiny variant may prove superior - using purple instead of red removes most of the horror and just leaves a badass ghost fox demon. Which I think I'd prefer to have in my party, but I can't deny that Hisuian Zoroark absolutely nails the unsettling vibe it's going for.

Overall: 9/10

Hisuian Zorua

Remember how this one was announced via some found-footage style video?

The new typing dramatically boosts the effectiveness of Zorua's gimmick ability - even if it pretends to be something else, as a Dark type, it still had 3 weaknesses. But as a Normal/Ghost, it's got just 1 weakness, and 3 complete immunities.

Now, what's unusual here is the choice of red and white to represent "ghostly spirit energy". Usually, it's blue and white. The resulting pink tendrils make me think of something organic, rather than ephemeral. The shiny is blue, and I think that fits much better.

Overall: 5/10

Hisuian Lilligant

yet another leggy plant broad

I feel like this could have just been Lilligant: Pirouette Forme. Like most of the Hisuian forms, it's just the same typing as the original... but with an added sub-type. In this case, Fighting. idk, I kinda like it when the regional variants are entirely different, like Ice Vulpix and Psychic Articuno and stuff?

regardless, I suppose Hisuian Lilligant is okay. Except the design ideas worked at cross purposes - if it's a graceful ballerina dancer, then it should have thin pointed legs. If it's a kicking fiend, then it needs some real pavement pounders. The compromise has been to design an elegant dancer, except wearing these goofy Peter Pan clogs. 

Actually, this design would have been twice as good if they made it Ice/Fighting and had it be an ice skater instead. With blue leaves instead of green, naturally.

Overall: 5/10