Morty of Ecruteak City

get it, Morty? like "mortician", latin stem mort meaning death? huh? huh?

yo, check out this cool cat. Morty rocks a scarf, and a purple one at that, and somehow doesn't look like a poof. I think it's the way his eyes are all like "yeah baby I'm so cool, you don't even know I'm cool" sort of thing

anyhow, nice color coordination here. Nice soul-flame-shaped pin. nice wrist-gauntlet things. nice bloody ragged ends on that scarf.


Morty is just making it all come together in a big way, here. He looks like a badass trainer, he looks like he uses some spooky shit, he checks all the style boxes. Nothing bad to say about this guy at all, I love him like a brother.


Overall: 10/10

Whitney of Goldenrod City

I'm glad these guys only really have one piece of art. makes it go a lot simpler.

I don't really like Normal types. I just don't see the point in a Pokemon who can only STAB, not Super-effective anything, and only has weaknesses.

but I do like Whitney. White and pink are a good fit for Normal, and the blue stockings and shorts just add an air of an unconcerned young girl. I mean, damn, look how happy she is. Nearly blissful. as if she doesn't know she's specializing in the worst type.


but the point is, she looks good, she looks Normal, and it all fits. She might not look like she should be in charge of her own gym, but that's her charm point, her youthful innocent look and all. also her gym is in the shape of a Clefairy, which clearly shows her interior design skills.



holy freaking shit do I hate her Satan-spawned Miltank with an ever-burning and implacable fire, though.


Overall: 8/10

Bugsy of Azalea Town

Welcome to the "dang, I didn't realize you were a man, sorry about that" club! You can sit over there next to Marth.

Now, I like the idea of Bugsy. Bug-catchers have been a staple of Pokemon games since the very beginning, and it makes sense that any Bug-styled Gym Leader would be just an expert bug-catcher.

So yeah, Bugsy is rocking that cub-scout look, he's got his utility survival pack on his hip. (complete with a Glass of Magnify, to identify and classify)


I also really, really like this badge. this is one of my favorites. it's a perfect circle, a stylized ladybug, it just works. calling it the Hive Badge instead of Ladybird Badge or something is ehh, but I don't really care.

Bugsy is a man (or at least he says he's a man) after my own heart. He even gets to use a Scyther, which is a incredible badass Pokemon to have at such an early point in the game. I just wish he looked a little cooler. longer shorts would help.


Overall: 7/10

Falkner of Violet City

you know, I think I might have to really step up my game if I'm going to get through all these trainers in time for XY...

Falkner looks a cool guy who doesn't afraid of anything. He's got a nice blue color scheme, and some odd combination of traditional-ass Japanese clothes, but all cut short to show off his neat gauntlets and ankle bracers.

however, it communicates literally nothing about him being a Pokemon trainer, Flying-type or otherwise.


maybe if he had, I dunno, feathers or some crap? or like a sword with a real feathery tassel on its hilt? something. maybe use his badge design as a family crest and plaster it on his clothes somewhere? cuz right now he honestly looks like he might be a jrpg character who specializes in Ice magic.


Overall: 3/10

Blue of the Kanto Elite Four (and later Viridian City)

Gary here, Blue is a loser

Blue has the advantage of being an actual character in the game, instead of just "the final battle". he's a good rival, because he's an asshole and you hate him, but he's not an outright evil person, so you can imagine eventually resolving your rivalry and coming to see him even as a friend.

He got a slight redesign for Yellow, to be more accurate to the anime. He looked smug before, but now he looks downright cocky.

But if you thought that was bad, you ain't seen nothin' yet. I mean, look at this little prick. Look at that sneer, that vanity, that expression of utter contempt at the idea of you challenging his attitude. Dude could out-smug Draco Malfoy, and that's saying a lot.

Blue makes a fitting champion, not because of his stature, but because of his history with you. And he's dressed relatively casually, like you are - because you could easily be standing in his place. Gone are the old guard, the old bags and hermit monks and dragon mages, now it's time to fight that asshole from next door who's always been standing over you.



Then, in a fitting twist, Blue takes up the Viridian City gym after Giovanni  departs to parts unknown. It's nice to see that he's mellowed out a bit, and taken up real responsibility. Because he IS skilled, after all. And when he's not being a dick about it, he turns out to make a fine gym leader. Though Viridian is still lacking any actual earth tones, because he just rolls with his all-round team anyway.

And I understand that he isn't wearing the same shirt as before, but I would've liked to see him still wear something purple. Like I said, he's hardly repping dat Ground-Type, so no need to throw out the old colors.


Overall: 9/10

Lance of the Kanto Elite Four

I wonder if Lance is hella pissed that he was the champion until two random kids came up and knocked him off his perch one after another?

Though he looks pretty full of himself here. Sweeping dat cape, Dracula all up in this bitch. Needs to comb his hair, but otherwise looking cool.

But now, now it is not the time for Dracula sneaking. Now is the time for majestic gesturing. Lance is summoning a powerful Djinn there, or perhaps ordering the armies of man to repel the invaders from the third wall. he's like a goddamn maestro of dragons, cape flowing in the wind, popped-ass collar looking all fly.

Lance is using the "most powerful" type, which makes sense for one of the final opponents. And he looks good doing it. As if he thinks he's in a different JRPG series, Tales of ______ maybe. I got nothing bad to say about this guy, except that when you lose your ice type to a lucky critical early on, it freaking suck to have to fight the rest of his team.


Overall: 10/10

Bruno of the Kanto Elite Four

HOO-HA!!
  
oh boy Bruno, I can not take you seriously when you stick your chin out like that, holy shiiiiiit


Okay, that's better. No, don't bother to get up, you'll hurt your jaw again.

Anyway, Bruno is a pretty hardcore dude. He wrestles his Machamp, and trains Onix just to punch them and stuff. Not sure why the Fighting-type guy uses Rock/Ground Pokemon, but I guess the Elite Four is pretty lax with their specifications. He still looks like Ryu from Street Fighter except older and more cave-hermit-style, and that is a good thing.

In fact, he's pretty much the ultimate Fighting-type trainer. He's got the muscle himself, the look of someone who's spent years training his Pokemon and his body, and he sits like a boss who isn't even done meditating on how to further improve his biceps when you walked in.

seriously, Bruno is a beast, and could probably beat up most Pokemon with his bare hands. Exactly the sort of Master Trainer I'd expect to find at the Indigo Plateau.

Overall: 10/10

Agatha of the Kanto Elite Four

notice how there are a lot of badass old men around in fiction, but not nearly as many badass old ladies?

Well, Agatha's here to change that. This old biddy runs Ghost types as if there were more than 3 ghosts in all of Kanto, and wears a look of supreme smugness on her face that could curdle milk.

Bitch has been kicking ass with Pokemon since before your were born, and she's not going to humor your sorry behind one single bit. That cane probably has the thigh bones of her former husband in it, too. She looks like a widow who took over a vast fortune to me.

I really like the idea of Agatha, as well as the small niche she inhabits. And I see nothing wrong with her simple pioneer-style elegance. Keep on keeping on, Granny! just don't rap my knuckles with a wooden spoon again.


Overall: 8/10