Wednesday Ramble

this is such bullshit.

Beta Gen Summary

(if you don't know what this is, click here)

I suppose I shouldn't keep you waiting any longer. Let's look back on the dream of things that might have been.

The 69 Beta Pokemon I reviewed averaged out to 5.9/10. That's pretty good, even with the host of stupid babies dragging down the average!

Of those, 30 were rough drafts of existing Pokemon, and half of them turned out better than their final counterparts, for a net gain of 27 points. They shouldn't have second-guessed themselves!

Now, using the ratings I gave to the actual Gen 2 Pokemon, if Gold/Silver had shipped with the Beta Pokedex, it would have averaged out to 5.8/10. Which is... exactly what the actual Gen 2 got. How did that happen, when I just said the beta-versions were better overall? Well, keep in mind that because the Beta version had original Pokemon like Bellmitt and Twinz, it was missing actual Gen 2 Pokemon like Heracross and Chinchou. And it all ended up evening out.

So what's the moral, here? Apparently if the Beta had been final, it would've still been about as good. There's no need to wish for an alternate universe, here. But I do wish that we could get that top crop of Beta-mons in the real games, some day.

Now I want to see the discarded designs for all the generations...

The Best Beta Gen Pokemon

I weep for what never got the chance to exist. We were missing out, man.

10. Pangshi

9. Beta-Magby

8. Bomseaker

7. Dynabear

6. Anchorage

5. Rinring

4. Bellboyant

3. Warwolf

2. Tigrette

1. Octillery

I made the executive decision to bump Beta-Scizor from the list, because while he is indeed awesome, he's equally awesome to his final version, whereas Beta-Magby was a vast improvement. And this also opened a slot for another original Pokemon, Pangshi, to squeeze in there. Hey, it's my site, I make the rules, ok?

How about you - which Beta Pokemon do you wish were real?

(no all-time ranking update, since I'd be comparing idealized phantoms with the all-too-fallible flesh)

The Worst Beta Gen Pokemon

Presenting the argument for "this beta should never have seen the light of day", we have:

10. Puddi

9. Cleffa

8. Blossomole
7. Likk

6. Para

5. Grimey

4. Grotess
3. Hitmontop

2. Golpy
1. Ballerine

Yeah, it wasn't a good day for babies. It's hardly ever a good day for babies, but this day was worse than most. Thank goodness Gamefreak saw reason, and removed most of them, along with these other foul shitstains.

(again, no cumulative ranking, for Reasons)

And you? What Beta Pokemon make you say "sometimes dead is better"?

Beta No. 251: Leafeon

Finally, we've made it to the end! Just in time for E3.

And waiting for us is not Celebi, but an Eeveelution. All the way apart from Umbreon and Espeon. That's so random and unfitting, that I think we can say with certainty these dex numbers were never intended to be final, at least not down at the end.

It's odd, most of the early version of existing Pokemon are from Gen 2, but Leafeon wouldn't be revisited until Gen 4. And when they did, they should've kept this one! My complaint about the real Leafeon is how it's just a generic mammal with some leaves glued on, this one looks like it's properly foliage. The greenery is everywhere on it, not just ears and tail. Not the most exciting end to the beta-dex, but at least it's a strong note - an example of an early design which surpasses the final result.


Overall: 7/10

Beta No. 250: Tael

Give a big hand for #250!!!

Again, weird dex numbers. I have no explanation. They were probably drunk.

Clearly, this would become Aipom. In the process, it would stop looking so lemurian, and become more simian. Aipom is a freaky freak, but Tael looks like a friend. Actually, I'd quibble with that art - maybe Tael was always meant to be a cat? a cat with thumbs??? I rather like the fact that his tail-hand is an honest-to-goodness cartoon glove, instead of Aipom's strange little fingies.


Overall: 8/10

Beta No. 246: Sneasel

Nestled between the Legendary Dogs and Legendary Birds is... Sneasel.

It's only a demo, maybe the numbering wasn't set yet? Perhaps a placeholder? Cuz it's a weird ass position for a random single-stage Pokemon.


To make matters worse, this version of Sneasel is... significantly more boring than the final one, to say the least. It's just a cartoon weasel, with no flair. It's a fine cartoon weasel, but nothing more. But, it was only pure-Dark. I was hoping to discover the justification for Sneasel's Ice typing (perhaps the original had heavy fur?) but no dice! They just made that up to get more Ice in the game.


Overall: 4/10

Wild Region of Galar

One of the things I hoped this game would give me is a free camera, and expansive environment. I was disappointed with the initial reveal, but they recently gave details on the "Wild Region" in the center of Galar, were free-roam is possible!

And so, I've spent some time trying to pinpoint down where the shots from the trailer came from.

New Pokemon revealed!

I'll do a proper run-down of these peeps once the game releases, but for now here are my initial thoughts. Basically, I don't see anything too stupid so far, but not much that's super exciting, either. But we only know 10 of them! There's still time for the rest of the generation to wow me.


Gossifleur: I thought this was a chili pepper or something spicy at first.


Eldegoss: Another cotton Pokemon, huh? I'm not sure that concept was worth going back to the well for.