I wanted to update this blog every single day, because holy hell there are a lot of pokemon. But it turns out that I ended up getting the same amount of posts in October as I did in September. Why is this dissapointing?
Because I started a third of the way into September, that's why. I had 10 more days, but ended up with the same amount of posts. That means that I missed 10 entire days. If this keeps up, I'm only going to get through 20 pokemon a month.
That's 2 and a half more years. That is a lot of time.
Actually, I'm doing this blog for fun, so I guess it doesn't really matter. I'm just kinda dissapointed that I missed so many days, is all.
whatever.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
No. 046: Paras
Boogity Boogity! I'll scare your dad!
The only thing scary about Paras is how bad he sucks. Seriously. He's frigging grass/bug, which is totally okay because it's not like FIRE IS THE MOST POPULAR TYPE EVER. Plus flying also gets 4x, but no one uses flying types, but still.
He learns like NO attacks, except every goddamn status effect powder time-wasting crap ever. Sleep Powder, Stun Spore, Poison Sting, etc. Screw that. Who needs that crap? Not me. Plus he has all the defenses of a paper bag, with all the attack power of a marshmallow.
And why the heck is a crab bug thing carrying mushrooms on his back anyway? What the hell is up with that? Seriously, who does that!?
Overall: 1/10
The only thing scary about Paras is how bad he sucks. Seriously. He's frigging grass/bug, which is totally okay because it's not like FIRE IS THE MOST POPULAR TYPE EVER. Plus flying also gets 4x, but no one uses flying types, but still.
He learns like NO attacks, except every goddamn status effect powder time-wasting crap ever. Sleep Powder, Stun Spore, Poison Sting, etc. Screw that. Who needs that crap? Not me. Plus he has all the defenses of a paper bag, with all the attack power of a marshmallow.
And why the heck is a crab bug thing carrying mushrooms on his back anyway? What the hell is up with that? Seriously, who does that!?
Overall: 1/10
Saturday, October 30, 2010
No. 045: Vileplume
I actually like this one.
That may seem odd(ish), seeing as how Vileplume is a bigger Gloom, but that's totally not true.
Vileplume has like a turban or something going on. She reminds me of like a genie, or Toad.
Also, to teach you punks something else, that flower is called a Raffelisia. Look it up. The thing is huuuuuuge, and spouts spores like none other.
Vileplume also manages to bring back the cute of oddish, a little bit. It's like I've said: The middle evolution is the worst evolution.
Overall: 8/10
That may seem odd(ish), seeing as how Vileplume is a bigger Gloom, but that's totally not true.
Vileplume has like a turban or something going on. She reminds me of like a genie, or Toad.
Also, to teach you punks something else, that flower is called a Raffelisia. Look it up. The thing is huuuuuuge, and spouts spores like none other.
Vileplume also manages to bring back the cute of oddish, a little bit. It's like I've said: The middle evolution is the worst evolution.
Overall: 8/10
Thursday, October 28, 2010
No. 044: Gloom
uuuuuuuhhhuuuuuuhuhuhuhuuuuhhhuuuuu...
Gloom...
well.
Gloom is kinda herping my derp big time. I don't even want to know what that is dripping from her mouth.
Oddish was so cute, but Gloom looks like she's on heavy medications.
Gloom is even a little disturbing, actually. She's like this 100% of the time. Eyes closed, mouth drooling, she lives her life in a pollen-induced haze.
Maybe Gloom is actually an anti-drug message, I don't know. Moreover, I'm not sure I care. Gloom inspires apathy.
not enough to save her from a terrible score, though. dumb pokemon are dumb.
Overall: 1/10
Gloom...
well.
Gloom is kinda herping my derp big time. I don't even want to know what that is dripping from her mouth.
Oddish was so cute, but Gloom looks like she's on heavy medications.
Gloom is even a little disturbing, actually. She's like this 100% of the time. Eyes closed, mouth drooling, she lives her life in a pollen-induced haze.
Maybe Gloom is actually an anti-drug message, I don't know. Moreover, I'm not sure I care. Gloom inspires apathy.
not enough to save her from a terrible score, though. dumb pokemon are dumb.
Overall: 1/10
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
No. 043: Oddish
Oddish!
Oddish Odd! Dish, Odd Oddish!
...
yeah, Oddish is pretty tight. A freaking onion walking around thing. Looks cute, easily made into a plush toy, a great first stage grass type.
loses one point for being too damn weak, though. completely useless.
Overall: 9/10
Oddish Odd! Dish, Odd Oddish!
...
yeah, Oddish is pretty tight. A freaking onion walking around thing. Looks cute, easily made into a plush toy, a great first stage grass type.
loses one point for being too damn weak, though. completely useless.
Overall: 9/10
Monday, October 25, 2010
No. 042: Golbat
Does Golbat remind anyone else of Count Chocula?
Golbat is a major evolutionary step up from Zubat: he has eyes, as well as actual feet. The mouth, however, remains as wide-jawed as ever. Remember when they used to depict him with a giant blue tongue?
Golbat is a major evolutionary step up from Zubat: he has eyes, as well as actual feet. The mouth, however, remains as wide-jawed as ever. Remember when they used to depict him with a giant blue tongue?
That was pretty messed up.
Golbat is evil looking, I have to say. A very good bat pokemon indeed. A little bizarre, maybe, but in the world of pokemon, that's better than being bland.
Overall: 8/10
Overall: 8/10
Sunday, October 24, 2010
No. 041: Zubat
Zubat has issues.
First, it has no eyes. I guess it uses echolocation, but still. It also has no legs. Does it just flutter all the time? Doesn't it get tired? And can it even close its mouth? How does it eat if it can't move its jaw?
I guess I just don't see it as being a very viable pokemon in terms of actually, you know, funcitoning and living in reality.
Surprisingly, I don't have a problem with Zubat all up ins my caves, because bats belong in caves, which there really aren't very many of compared to grassy areas. They even switch it up, and you get Golbat eventually, so it doesn't come across as stale.
on another note, I always name my zubats Russian names, like Vladimir, Lenin, and Petrov. It just fits.
Overall: 5/10
First, it has no eyes. I guess it uses echolocation, but still. It also has no legs. Does it just flutter all the time? Doesn't it get tired? And can it even close its mouth? How does it eat if it can't move its jaw?
I guess I just don't see it as being a very viable pokemon in terms of actually, you know, funcitoning and living in reality.
Surprisingly, I don't have a problem with Zubat all up ins my caves, because bats belong in caves, which there really aren't very many of compared to grassy areas. They even switch it up, and you get Golbat eventually, so it doesn't come across as stale.
on another note, I always name my zubats Russian names, like Vladimir, Lenin, and Petrov. It just fits.
Overall: 5/10
Friday, October 22, 2010
No. 040: Wigglytuff
ANOTHER PINK BLOB!?!
Okay, it was funny for a while, but this has to stop. Seriously. All these pink shits look the same, and they even are found in the same places, and even evolve in the same way.
In fact, I can't think of a worse use of a moonstone than to use it to make a Wigglytuff. Especially when there are deserving pokemon like Nido-friggin-King that need a moonstone to come into existence.
Jiggs is cool, she was in Smash and the anime. Wigger, on the other hand, is just as useless as Clefable.
Well, I take that back. Wigglytuff is at least somewhat cute, I'll give it that.
Overall: 2/10
Okay, it was funny for a while, but this has to stop. Seriously. All these pink shits look the same, and they even are found in the same places, and even evolve in the same way.
In fact, I can't think of a worse use of a moonstone than to use it to make a Wigglytuff. Especially when there are deserving pokemon like Nido-friggin-King that need a moonstone to come into existence.
Jiggs is cool, she was in Smash and the anime. Wigger, on the other hand, is just as useless as Clefable.
Well, I take that back. Wigglytuff is at least somewhat cute, I'll give it that.
Overall: 2/10
Thursday, October 21, 2010
No. 039: Jigglypuff
Are you sleepy yet?
Jigglypuff was great in the anime. Hilarious, in fact, as well as badass. She put everyone to sleep by accident, and then drew rude shit all over their faces! priceless.
in the game, mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
basically, Jigglypuff is why I hate Clefairy. Jiggs is a wad of pink done right.
oh, and did I mention 3 appearences in Super Smash Bros??
Jiggs is top tier in Melee now, btw.
Overall: 7/10
Jigglypuff was great in the anime. Hilarious, in fact, as well as badass. She put everyone to sleep by accident, and then drew rude shit all over their faces! priceless.
in the game, mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
basically, Jigglypuff is why I hate Clefairy. Jiggs is a wad of pink done right.
oh, and did I mention 3 appearences in Super Smash Bros??
Jiggs is top tier in Melee now, btw.
Overall: 7/10
Monday, October 18, 2010
No. 038: Ninetales
Okay, I totally did not know it wasn't spelled "Ninetails" until today
Ninetales is a fire pokemon, but isn't red. This is unordinary, but not random, because it's white, like white-hot fire, see?
One thing is, is that the dex entry on Ninetales always mentions how it curses people who touch its tails for like 20 years or something. That's pretty harsh. Could you possibly cut some accidental tail-touching a little slack here, Ninetales?
becase, with nine fluffy tails, it would be pretty damn nice if I had a ninetales to just use the tails to snuggle all up and fall asleep. that's a premium amount of coziness we're talking about.
Overall: 9/10
Ninetales is a fire pokemon, but isn't red. This is unordinary, but not random, because it's white, like white-hot fire, see?
One thing is, is that the dex entry on Ninetales always mentions how it curses people who touch its tails for like 20 years or something. That's pretty harsh. Could you possibly cut some accidental tail-touching a little slack here, Ninetales?
becase, with nine fluffy tails, it would be pretty damn nice if I had a ninetales to just use the tails to snuggle all up and fall asleep. that's a premium amount of coziness we're talking about.
Overall: 9/10
Friday, October 15, 2010
No. 037: Vulpix
Mozilla, eat your heart out.
Vulpix is a pretty cute pokemon, I remember one time in the anime it got its head stuck in a boot and fell down all over the place. adorable.
And it was neat how Brock, the Rock trainer, had this random Fire type (that he never used). I'd give this a 6 to match the tails, but that would be rude! Vulpix is better than a 6.
Overall: 8/10
Vulpix is a pretty cute pokemon, I remember one time in the anime it got its head stuck in a boot and fell down all over the place. adorable.
And it was neat how Brock, the Rock trainer, had this random Fire type (that he never used). I'd give this a 6 to match the tails, but that would be rude! Vulpix is better than a 6.
Overall: 8/10
Thursday, October 14, 2010
No. 036: Clefable
What do you get it you take a bad Pokemon, and make it worse?
Clefable!!
Too much of a good thing is wonderful, but too much of a bad thing makes me want to puke all over my gameboy. Clefable is just a waste of pink pixels. What is it even supposed to be, an obese fairy?
At least Clefairy was unique. At least Clefairy practice pagan worshipping of a space rock. What does Clefable have, besides from a horrible name?
How bout a face that looks like Linus after Lucy tells him that the great pumpkin isn't real.
Clefable = Suck.
overall: 1/10
Clefable!!
Too much of a good thing is wonderful, but too much of a bad thing makes me want to puke all over my gameboy. Clefable is just a waste of pink pixels. What is it even supposed to be, an obese fairy?
At least Clefairy was unique. At least Clefairy practice pagan worshipping of a space rock. What does Clefable have, besides from a horrible name?
How bout a face that looks like Linus after Lucy tells him that the great pumpkin isn't real.
Clefable = Suck.
overall: 1/10
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
No. 035: Clefairy
Some people probably like Clefairy.
I am not one of those people.
Clefairy is a big pink turd. It is a cocky piece of shit, using metronome, and being all, "lol i dunno did i do dat lol" when something stupid happens. It claims that all pokemon came from space, which is kind of a mind-melter, and I guess that's worth something, but no.
I say NO to Clefairy, because it was obviously created merely to appeal to the "kyaa kawaiiiiii" demographic, which personally gives me heartburn.
Introducing the possibility of pokemon being aliens is the only thing saving Clefairy.
Overall: 2/10
I am not one of those people.
Clefairy is a big pink turd. It is a cocky piece of shit, using metronome, and being all, "lol i dunno did i do dat lol" when something stupid happens. It claims that all pokemon came from space, which is kind of a mind-melter, and I guess that's worth something, but no.
I say NO to Clefairy, because it was obviously created merely to appeal to the "kyaa kawaiiiiii" demographic, which personally gives me heartburn.
Introducing the possibility of pokemon being aliens is the only thing saving Clefairy.
Overall: 2/10
Monday, October 11, 2010
No. 034: Nidoking
Awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeeeah bitches
Nidoking is in the house, and boy is he horny! I mean, just look at all those spikes!
The man is a frigging spiny-tank-rhino-armadillo-reptile-I-don't-even-know, in short, a total and complete badass.
Like Nidoqueen, he can learn lots of kinda of moves, including blizzard, thunderbolt, flamethrower, shadow ball, brick break, earthquake, etc.
Nidoking is the boss.
Overall: 10/10
Nidoking is in the house, and boy is he horny! I mean, just look at all those spikes!
The man is a frigging spiny-tank-rhino-armadillo-reptile-I-don't-even-know, in short, a total and complete badass.
Like Nidoqueen, he can learn lots of kinda of moves, including blizzard, thunderbolt, flamethrower, shadow ball, brick break, earthquake, etc.
Nidoking is the boss.
Overall: 10/10
Sunday, October 10, 2010
No. 033: Nidorino
Nidorino has spiky ears.
And as I mentioned in my very first intro post, amount of spikes IS one of the attributes I take into consideration.
So Nidorio gets points on that account. plus, he was one of the first pokemon ever seen. in the opening to both the anime and the original games, Nidorino fighting Gengar, and possibly Onix, is the first thing shown.
They came up with a great and unique design, and wanted to show it off, and I dn't blame them.
Props to Nidorino and his spiky ears.
Overall: 10/10
And as I mentioned in my very first intro post, amount of spikes IS one of the attributes I take into consideration.
So Nidorio gets points on that account. plus, he was one of the first pokemon ever seen. in the opening to both the anime and the original games, Nidorino fighting Gengar, and possibly Onix, is the first thing shown.
They came up with a great and unique design, and wanted to show it off, and I dn't blame them.
Props to Nidorino and his spiky ears.
Overall: 10/10
Friday, October 8, 2010
No. 032: Nidoran
Wait, didn't I do this one already?
No, this is a totally different pokemon. Totally not like another pokemon that I talked about 3 days ago.
The sarcasm is so thick over here, you can put it on a plate and carve it up for thanksgiving.
Nidoran is only disinguished by comically large ears, buck teeth, and a name that can be a girls' name as well.
Actually, putting it that way, Nidoran sounds like an awkward middle schooler.
I hate those guys.
Overall: 3/10
No, this is a totally different pokemon. Totally not like another pokemon that I talked about 3 days ago.
The sarcasm is so thick over here, you can put it on a plate and carve it up for thanksgiving.
Nidoran is only disinguished by comically large ears, buck teeth, and a name that can be a girls' name as well.
Actually, putting it that way, Nidoran sounds like an awkward middle schooler.
I hate those guys.
Overall: 3/10
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
No. 031: Nidoqueen
Nidoqueen isn't afraid to let it all hang out.
But that's not necessarily a good thing.
Nidoqueen is okay, I guess. Just, not subtle. She's a girl, get it?
You know, because of the boobs? You can see them right there.
Other than that, Nidoqueen looks alright. And she can learn ice beam, and earthquake. A versitile tank. At least they didn't make her curvy...
Overall: 6/10
But that's not necessarily a good thing.
Nidoqueen is okay, I guess. Just, not subtle. She's a girl, get it?
You know, because of the boobs? You can see them right there.
Other than that, Nidoqueen looks alright. And she can learn ice beam, and earthquake. A versitile tank. At least they didn't make her curvy...
Overall: 6/10
Monday, October 4, 2010
No. 030: Nidorina
You most likely don't even know how awesome Nidorina is.
In order to understand, you need to watch this legendary animation by AquaBunny:
See? Nidorina is awesome.
There's nothing else to say, really.
Overall: 10/10
In order to understand, you need to watch this legendary animation by AquaBunny:
See? Nidorina is awesome.
There's nothing else to say, really.
Overall: 10/10
Sunday, October 3, 2010
No. 029: Nidoran
Nidoran!
Yup, Nidoran.
um.
Yeah, time to talk about Nidoran. She's, uh... blue?
Okay, confession time: I don't care about Nidoran. Boring pokemon. Moving on.
Overall: 3/10
Yup, Nidoran.
um.
Yeah, time to talk about Nidoran. She's, uh... blue?
Okay, confession time: I don't care about Nidoran. Boring pokemon. Moving on.
Overall: 3/10
Saturday, October 2, 2010
No. 028: Sandslash
The hell? How did I miss two entire days??
Whatever, Sandslash is badass. If Sandshrew is an armadillo, then Sandslash is a porcupine armadillo with wolverine claws. Maybe more like a pangolin, actually, but nobody knows what those are. Google it, dumbass.
So, yeah. Really cool. Underrated, if you ask me. Its like Sandslash's aura of forgettableness extended to his totally badass evolution as well.
Which is a pity, because Sandslash is damn awesome. Even his name kicks ass.
I just realized I used "ass" 4 times. 5, now. When did my vocabulary become that of a 6th grader? At least I taught y'all what a pangolin is, so that's something.
So, yeah. Sandslash is cool and educational.
Overall: 10/10
Whatever, Sandslash is badass. If Sandshrew is an armadillo, then Sandslash is a porcupine armadillo with wolverine claws. Maybe more like a pangolin, actually, but nobody knows what those are. Google it, dumbass.
So, yeah. Really cool. Underrated, if you ask me. Its like Sandslash's aura of forgettableness extended to his totally badass evolution as well.
Which is a pity, because Sandslash is damn awesome. Even his name kicks ass.
I just realized I used "ass" 4 times. 5, now. When did my vocabulary become that of a 6th grader? At least I taught y'all what a pangolin is, so that's something.
So, yeah. Sandslash is cool and educational.
Overall: 10/10
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