Monday, October 30, 2017

Favorite Digimon #2 - Togemon

I don't remember this gyroid from Animal Crossing

Y'all know I like cacti. Y'all know I like things that punch. This should come as no surprise. Togemon is one of those Digimon with a design concept and execution that's simple enough to be a Pokemon, too. I want to see Togemon fight Cacturne, just feeding him the right-lefts like bam, bam.

But I also like how it comes out in the middle of Palmon's overtly feminine, flower-based line. Cute flowers, little nymphs, then HELL YEAH ITS CACTUS TIME. MOMMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! shame there's no variant progression to further explore the idea of a boxing cactus...

Oh, and that hollow face is unique, helps it stand out more. The dual threat of shooting needles and punching your stupid face in is useful. But at the end of the day, I think Togemon is great for two simple reasons:

1. Cactus
2. Punching

Some things defy detailed analysis.

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Favorite Digimon #3 - Deputymon

I shot the Sheriffmon, but I did not shoot the Deputymon~

We talked about dual-wielding before. This hombre steps it up a notch, triple wielding those Colt .45's. Does it count as wielding if one of the guns is literally your torso? I say so.

Deputymon is such a fun design, from his 10-gallon hat to his spurs that jingle-jangle-jingle. And that obscured face. Wait a minute...

***GAME THEORY APPROACHING***

Deputymon's face is hidden in shadow, you can only see two yellow eyes. Just like Digitamamon. Could Deputymon be Digitamamon's evil twin? Could Digitamamon have killed Deputymon and pretended to wear his clothes?? Could Digimon take place in Undertale???

***GAME THEORY CONCLUDED***

He's a rootin' tootin' shootin' cowpoke who would be neat enough if he were just a normal humanoid, but the fact that he's a gun with legs who also shoots guns is so patriotic I can't help but love it.

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Favorite Digimon #4 - Omnimon

aka Garurugreymon

You might have guessed by now that I'm not that big a fan of the armored knight/mecha looking Digimon. Which is a shame, because that style comprises most of the Mega tier. I don't necessarily dislike it, it's just rarely interesting to me. The huge feet and gangly limbs, usually so charming, look awkward in armor.

But Omnimon (or Omegamon, as some people insist on using the Japanese name) is so cool that the rest are just superfluous. A large part of his appeal comes from the movie - it was almost scary to see MetalGarurumon and WarGreymon, two of the strongest Digimon around, getting manhandled. So when they fused into this awesome white knight, it was surprising and glorious.

I like it when fusions retain entire chunks of the participants, so using the heads as hands is a neat twist. It's cool that he has a sword and arm cannon, means he can lay the smack down up close or from long-range, a true two-way threat.

Omnimon remains, for me, the height of what a "strongest Digimon ever" should look like. This is the Vegito of Digimon, anything beyond this is stupid and dumb and not what I grew up with so I hate it.

Friday, October 27, 2017

Favorite Digimon #5 - Beelzemon

Lord of the Flies

Let it be known that dual-wielding handguns is badass. Doing so while also being some sort of biker devil is extra badass. And being a conflicted angsty sumbitch obviously adds a final layer of badassery that makes Beelzemon my favorite actual character in all of Digimon. I may like a few other designs better, but they're not really characters like this guy is.

Look, if you weren't around for it, I don't know how much the story of Impmon would resonate with you, but the long-and-short of it is that he was mistreated by his trainer, and grew to hate humans. He also resented the other Digimon, who could digivolve and were strong. He acted like Meowth at first, just being a petty nuisance, but one time tried to step up and seriously fight an Evil Digimon, and got beat within an inch of his life. So when he was offered power, he took it. But the power went to his head, and he started enacting revenge on those he despised, even killing Leomon. But after some heartfelt words by Leomon's trainer, Beelzemon had a change of heart and basically left to go die in a ditch for his sins. However, that wasn't the end of him, and eventually he came to reconciliation with his trainers, and everyone else he had wronged and been jealous of. So he showed up to help the heroes out in the final battle, and I'm not crying I swear.

As a final note, I just wanna say that the cords plugged into his back are such a neat, pointless little detail.

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Favorite Digimon #6 - Gargomon

Momentai!

First of all, I don't know why he was called Terriermon when he's clearly a rabbit, but I do know that he's one of the cutest little buggers ever.

I regret not including him earlier on the list, because he's definitely up there. But Gargomon is even MORE awesome that he overshadowed him in my mind. Sorry, Terry!

Anyway, Gargomon is just a big rabbit with gatling guns for arms and I think that's wonderful. He's even wearing pants! It's adorable. The war paint and oversized ammo bandolier further give the impression of an innocent kid dressing up to play soldier, not seriously out to shoot anybody. Except that, you know, he's got gatling guns for arms.

My favorite kind of guns are the ones with the most dakka, and Gargomon brings the dakka in spades. This is another one I had a transforming toy of, and kept him in this stage all the time because Rapidmon looks like a weird, emaciated, diaper-wearing creep. But Gargomon is someone I would trust my life with. I want to use his ears as a blanket and go to sleep. I also want him to shoot up my enemies 'til I see the daylight leaking through the other side. I don't feel these are contradictory desires.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Favorite Digimon #7 - Kabuterimon

I'm just saying, Weevil Underwood had a point. Bugs are cool.

So here's a little linguistics lesson - samurai helmets are called kabuto in Japanese, and rhinocerous beetles are named after them, called kabuto-mushi. Hence why Kabuterimon has that cool helmet. I love how it looks organic, though - and that crazy gross mouth hanging out below, no eyes - he's a scary dude. But he's a good guy! Digimon is great like that.

But the other most popular beetle is the stag beetle, or kuwagata-mushi. Hence, Kuwagamon! The bugs are often depicted as rivals, so in Digimon they have a nice contrasting blue-red color scheme going. I kinda like how Kuwagamon is depicted as this huge asshole who likes to ruin everyone's day, and low-level peeps just have to run from him. It's like the Beedrill swarms in the early episodes of Pokemon.

But I like Kabuterimon more, probably just because he had more screen time as a proper member of the cast, but they're both cool. Oh, if only there was a Digimon that merged the awesome design traits of both!!! (I hope I'm not showing my hand too much here, but that prayer will be answered)


P.S. Boomer Kuwanger in Mega Man X is named after a kuwagata beetle as well, punned-up with "boomerang". For the longest time I had no clue wtf his name was, since everyone else is just a basic English word.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Favorite Digimon #8 - SuperStarmon

All that glitters is gold / only shooting stars break the mold~

I always liked Starmon, for basically the same reasons I liked Mamemon, and the other "geometric shapes with limbs that PUNCH". Then I played Cyber Sleuth, and found out that he had a further evolution, and my mind was blown. I just wasn't ready.

You can't deny the fabulous flavor of his Evel Knievel-style outfit, complete with patriotic stars and sweet fringe, golden toes and studded knuckles, radical Kamina shades, psychic jewel in his forehead, heroic tattered Kamen Rider scarf, and most importantly - a burning soul of justice.

I can only hope they never invent a SuperDuperStarmon, or else I may pass out.

Monday, October 23, 2017

Favorite Digimon #9 - Shurimon

another wiggly arm boy

I'll be honest - I've never seen Shurimon actually appear in the anime, or any game. But I had a toy of him, and I LOVE this design. The original conception of Hitmonlee was that his legs were coiled springs, but that kinda got left by the wayside. Shurimon picks up that fumble and runs it all the way back for a touchdown.

I love the fusion of plant themes to ninja motifs, the leaf-pauldrons are genius, and of course it wouldn't be enough to simply have shuriken hands. No, this guy wanted shuriken feet too, and just in case, put a big ol' one on back, just for the hell of it.

Plus - double belts. He's a Digimon, after all. Can't leave the important bits out.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Favorite Digimon #10 - Infermon

Shoutouts to Summer Wars

While Diaboromon was the final form, I liked this one the best. I felt it maintained the virus, insect-like theme of the previous, and looks pretty sick. The way it can pull into itself and form a protective cocoon is cool, too. Reminds me of an Iron Maiden, in shape?

I picked Tsumemon earlier, due in part to his role in the movie. But while Tsumemon was more of an innocent scamp, eating data and causing problems because he's like an uncontrollable puppy, by the time it reached Infermon (warp digivolving past Champion all the way to Ultimate, which was badass but denied us Chrysalimon) he was much more malicious. And how it scuttled around, and had a cannon in its mouth, was more interesting than Diaboromon.

You know, maybe it's time I re-watch that movie. But I don't know if I can handle the topical 90's music...

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Favorite Digimon #11 - Piedmon

O MY RUBBER NEN

I don't like actual clowns. The makeup is distracting and weird. As a kid, I liked it when actors would be silly goofballs, but only when the they just wore regular clothes. Real talk, Steve from Blues Clues did probably some of the best clowning of all time. The man made being dense into an art form.

And I don't really like horror-clowns, either. I admit they're creepy, but I'm just tired of it. Insane Clown Posse, Carn-Evil, John Wayne Gacy, IT, Killer Clowns from Outer Space, that movie where the guy somehow turns into a clown as if "clown" is a species and not a profession - miss me with that junk.

What I do like, however, is Japan's weird take on the clown, which they refer to by the French name, Pierrot. (Piedmon is named after the Pied Piper of Hamlin for some reason in the English version, but in Japanese he's just Piemon, obviously after pierrot.) Japan mashes it up with harlequins, jesters, and stage magicians more often that not. There's no grotesquery like the clown from Spawn, or ironic ugliness like Gamzee Makara, the designs are more slick and cool. See: Hisoka, Buggy, Harle, Dimentio, Kefka, Douke Bancho, etc.

Anyway, Piedmon clearly comes from that same school of design, and I'm all about it. I especially like how he wears his throwing swords in a cross on his back, and each one has a different suit on the hilt. The way his clothes flair at the shoulders and thighs is neat, too. Somehow those bits of puffiness exaggerate how skeletal-thin he is underneath it.

You know something else cool about Japanese clowns? They don't honk.