No. 804: Naganadel

don't tell nobody, but I used to be terrified of needles as a kid.

So I'm still waiting for a Poison/Dragon type that looks like Magellan's hydra from One Piece, instead of a cybertronic syringe or whatever the heck Dragalge was. But, I suppose we'll make do.

Naganadel looks like a Yu-Gi-Oh monster, is the thing. I get that it's an Ultra Beast, and theoretically a Legendary, and maybe those look more Yugi-esque than normal Pokemon. But still, Naganadel looks like it has 1700 attack and 1100 defense, and is a 3-star Tuner Monster that has some weird synergy that involves sending your hand into your opponent's graveyard to banish spells from your deck so that you can summon 16 monsters in one turn or some bullshit.

no, I'm not bitter, what are you talking about.

Anyway, it's alright, but somehow not crazy enough to be a good Ultra Beast? idk, I don't get the "otherworldly" feeling.

Ultra Grade: C+

Upcoming Schedule (for real)

well, damn. some of y'all called my bluff. I wasn't sure I still had people reading, to be honest.

but see... I don't have a podcast. or any fan-art. or a twitch. or any merch. or a patreon. I don't have anything. I'm sorry


but, I am gonna finish this ish off! I've only got like 4 or 5 more posts worth of actual content, so I'll knock those out in the coming weeks. Then it'll be back on hiatus, since Gamefreak in their infinite wisdom haven't seen fit to announce anything relating to Gen 8 yet. I know people have requested reviews on Professors and Main Characters before, but honestly I don't have strong enough opinions on those to make it any fun writing about them. The Profs are mainly forgettable, the MCs are mainly good, and in modern games you play dress-up anyway so the designs are irrelevant. That's my entire take!

As for the Wednesday Rambles, I guess I could keep those up if people want? It's weird though, because I wouldn't want to talk about stuff NOT at least tangeltially related to Pokemon, but after all these years I've exhausted almost all my opinions on this subject. Hence why I need new content from the Powers That Be to continue the blog. anyway, I wish I could have more regular posts for you loyal readers, but it just wouldn't be NAPACE without the abject failure to keep to a consistent schedule.

oh, but I am coming directly to your house to slap you in the face every Saturday, that's a promise.

Wednesday Ramble

So, we're already starting to get "leaks" for Gen 8. Note that Gen 8 hasn't even been announced yet, but.

And I'm honestly hesitant to condemn or confirm anything - we like in an age where people can make a perfect mock-up of Rayman on the Smash Bros select screen or 3D print a false NX controller, but also in an age where the final evolutions for Sun/Moon were leaked from highly-detailed model sheets and King of Fighters 14 had its entire roster leaked before the game was even announced. We're seeing crazier fake leaks, and crazier true leaks, than ever before.

So while I'll definitely check out every supposed leak I see, and probably end up wishing some of them were true, I refuse to sign off one way or the other. Best to just wait for Nintendo to make it all official.

Team Skull of Alola

I love these knuckleheads SO much you guys


It's taken us this long to get an "evil team" with some real Urban Flavor, but Team Skull dishes it out in spades. They keep it monochromatic except for their cotton-candy-colored hair, and keep it fresh with silver bling and sick-ass all-white shoes. I wanna cop those shoes, for real. Oh, and check out how the skull hat they wear has one eye all droopy, because it's attitude! And they spit hot #barz at you! They're the best!!

Grunts: 10/10


Now, Plumeria... Plumeria's the sort of girl to make a man wanna drop out of college and become a single father, if you know what I mean. I like the way she incorporates the X pattern of the grunt's shirts into her top, and the skull barettes are a nice touch. And while most Bad Girls like her would have a tramp stamp, she's taken the initiative to get it nice and large right across her navel. That's the sort of commitment to the team that you look for in a lieutenant.

Plumeria: 10/10



but it wouldn't be Team Skull without the Big Bad Boss who beats ya down and beats ya down and never lets up. That's right, I'm talkin about your boy and mine, Guzma. You can tell he's the boss because his necklace is GOLD. The X's on his pants feel kinda tacked on, but outside of that he's perfect. Dude looks like trouble, he's like Enzo Amore but without the meth (Plumeria reminds me of Carmella, now that I think of it). And I loved his role in the story, too - seems like a petty thug, but he's actually being used by the true evil organization.

My personal theory is that he gave up golf after never being able to beat Kahili, and that's what got him so salty and bitter in the first place. Oh, and he loves Bug types. And I lowkey ship him with Lusamine shut up. Point is, he's perfect.

Guzma: 10/10



Their logo, by the way, is an S twisted into a kinda-sorta skull shape. It's honestly the weakest part of the whole team, but that's okay because everything else is on point. The designs are great, their leaders have great personalities (I love the detail about Plumeria challenging for the Elite 4 title in the post-game, proving that she can be a serious threat if she cleans up her act!), their theme music rocks, and they have a logical part in the story. Nanu's endless losing battle with them is something else you could really go in depth with the headcanon if you wanted to. And unlike any other evil team before them, their lack of a clear plan is totally fine - because there IS no plan! They just wanna hang out and be thugs!

Overall: 10/10

No. 803: Poipole

[WWE Eric Bischoff theme] I'm back... and better than ever!

So Poipole is a new Ultra Beast introduced in USUM. This is actually the first instance of sequel games introducing brand-new Pokemon not found in the previous game's code. That's pretty cool! I was relying on this sort of thing to make USUM worth buying!

Except... it's essentially a Legendary. It evolves, but you get it very late in the game, and the evolution requirement is to take it to the Move Learner at the Elite 4, which is right around the corner because again - you're late in the game. So any thrill of adding a Legendary to your party early and leveling it up as you adventure is lost. They may as well just hand you the final form.

All that aside, is this thing any good? Despite the name sounding like Curly from the Three Stooges saying Prince's favorite color, I kinda like the little bugger. The techno theme is unusual for a Poison-type, but somehow its head seems medical to me. Like injectors? So dealing in chemicals and stuff makes sense.

Ultra Grade: B+

New Schedule and Plans

Hey NAPACErs! Thanks for sticking with me during the hiatus. But going forward, we're kicking things up a notch. Let me announce the new weekly content schedule:

MONDAY
a brand new Pokemon review!

TUESDAY
we'll alternate between a brand new Trainer review, or Town review!

WEDNSDAY
Wacky Wednesday, where I ramble about a different topic each week!

THURSDAY
every other Thursday well drop a brand new episode of the NAPACE podcast!

FRIDAY
Fan Art Friday~ We'll be spotlighting the best pieces we've recieved each week!

SATURDAY
I come directly to your house and slap you in the face!

SUNDAY
Live stream day! Tune in to see me work through every game in the franchise!


Wow! So much content on the way, I hope y'all are ready! Also, there's new items in the store, so check that out! And as always, remember to Like, Comment, and Subscribe! Plus, extra bonuses for the Patreons~ it's thanks to you that I can do what I do.

Happy Easter everyone, and as always, Stay Above Average!!

Kukui of the Alola Elite Four

The cream rises to the top, brother oh yeah

I thought Prof. Kukui was great, the first professor with an actual personality and role in the story since... maybe ever? I mean yeah I remember the other profs, because I make a damn Pokemon blog so I'm legally obligated to keep that minutia in my brain, taking up vital space that could be used to store things like my wife's birthday and the age of my children, but the point is that they kinda sucked.

And Kukui doesn't suck. I caught all the Macho Man/Ric Flair references he was throwing down, which play into my ground-breaking theory: Prof. Kukui IS the Masked Royal. I know it's hard to believe, but I think if you look at all the facts, you can see where I'm coming from.

anyway, having him play the role of the Champion for your first time attempting the Elite 4 makes sense - the thing is just cobbled together anyway, and really the purpose is just to crown you Champion, so why not play the role of final gatekeeper? On a side note, spinning further attempts as you "defending" your title against a variety of different challengers was brilliant. Especially when Youngster freaking Tristan steps up to the plate.

as for Kukui's design, it's fine. Perfectly fits a casual science bro who's as likely to jump in the water or wrestling ring as he is to conduct research. And that hat is just absolutely the sort of lame company hat that you're forced to wear. He definitely has a matching T-shirt that has the same logo and a slogan like "Alola - Because We Care" on it that he keeps buried in his closet. But mainly I love the guy for his personality and role in the story.


Overall: 10/10

Kahili of the Alola Elite Four

more like Elite Fore amirite


This time, the Elite Four wasn't even set up until the end of the game. As such, the Professor called for the best in the land, and assembled a dream team. The Kahunas are there, except Nanu was invited, but was too based to show up. And Ponii Island doesn't really have a Kahuna. So also this heretofore unmentioned golfer chick is there to make up the numbers.

I can't decide if I like this whole format or not. On one hand, it's neat to know the reputations of the E4 members before you fight them, but maybe rematches are boring? Give me new characters! Or at least make them NPCs I know, but haven't fought.

As for Kahili hereself, she's alright! Wish we'd seen the actual golf course in-game, but she looks like a total pro, and connecting Flying types to Golf via the Eagle/Birdie terminology is genius. What's up with the Push-pop colored club, though? (don't yell at me, I know it's Toucannon flavored)

It's odd that she's the only fresh face, but I like her design well enough. Could use a little... something extra to really sell that she's a step above your average Ace Trainer or Gym Leader, but that's a hard ask when the rest of the E4 is literally composed of Gym Leader equivalents who didn't dress up for the occasion at all, lazy bums.


Overall: 7/10

Hapu of Poni Island

I was doing holiday things, and in Japan, and other stuff! Sorry for the break, let's get back to it and finish this stuff off, in the hopes of a Gen 8 announcement this year.


I was kinda disappointed with how Poni island just seemed like an afterthought. It's my beloved Kauai, yet they made it a dry, uninhabited canyon without really even proper trials. Still, Hapu is cute, so I guess it balances out.

I like her eyebrows and intense stare, she may be smol, but she tuff. Doesn't really look like a kahuna, but that's kind of the point - in fact, she doesn't actually take up the reins officially until you meet her in the story. But the design is nice, with great use of repeating rounded shapes. I want to put her in my pocket and then roll her down a hill!


Overall: 8/10

Nanu of Ula'ula Island

[anime villain voice]: NANU!?


Nanu's cheekbones have exactly as much definition on his face as his nose does, which would be frightening in real life. He also has the sunken eyes of a man who stopped caring about anything a long while ago. He ran out of shits to give so long ago, he's forgotten what a shit even looks like. Nanu's primary motivation in the game is simply to get all these young kids off his lawn, both Team Skull and the player. He just wants you gone, so he can get back to drinking away the pain in peace.

Notice that he's the only Kahuna you can't battle in the postgame, because he did the bare minimum required to fulfill his obligations and then fucked off.

As such, I love him to bits, and I think his design is pretty cool, too. Reminds me of an Advance Wars CO.


Overall: 9/10