No. 279: Pelipper

oh god look at his eye that is not normal

Bizarre segmented pupils aside, I like the idea behind Pelipper. A giant seagull would be lame, so they picked another seashore bird and used that.

And you know what, it actually works. I almost want all seagulls to grow up to be pelicans. Giant pelicans. Then I could have them fill their beaks up with water and I could sit inside and they could fly me all over the world. We'd drift on the air currents, and I'd just be in a bathtub essentially the entire time. When I had to shit or something I'd just lean over the side and try to hit people down below. I'd buy a floating table so I could put a TV on it and play video games while we flew. I'd hang christmas lights from the top part of the beak, giving me light when it was night time. And to sleep, I'd just use an air mattress, which would of course float. Me and the pelican would soar over mountains, rivers, oceans, circle around skyskrapers, and hover right outside some CEO's window and I'd just be there, scrubbing my back and stuff, and then he's be all, "GET OUT OF THAT BIRD'S MOUTH" and I'd be all "but he has to carry me in his mouth" and he's be all "WHY IS THAT" and I'd be all "because he doesn't have any pockets" and then we'd both laugh, and the pelican's laugh would create bubbles like a hot tub and that would only make me laugh more.



um, what were we talking about again? Oh yeah, Pelipper. He's fine, but I don't like swallow/spit-up Pokemon very much.


Overall: 6/10