Tuesday, July 31, 2012

No. 484: Palkia

If you decide which game to buy based on mascot Legendarys, then boy, 4th gen must've been tough for you. Because there is no winner.


Palkia is based off a pearl, which is a much lamer stone than a diamond. And it's pink. On the other hand, it has a much more dragon-like frame, which could be neat. But on the other other hand, it still looks like a guy in a suit, ready to fight Ultraman or something. And also its backsprite looks like, for want of a better word, a penis.



Besides all that, it's bizarrely a Water/Dragon type. Why water? What does ANYTHING about Palkia have to do with Water? You know what would have been a good typing? Cosmic, bitches. Dragon/Cosmis, right there. Boom. Make it happen.

Another thought - it controls "space", right? What does that mean? It controls the physical dimensions, as in it can alter something's height, length, width? Or does it mean it can warp shit around. Because if it's supposedly eternal rivals with Dialga (why? because Time and Space are obviously rivals instead of being two equally necessary mechanics of nature), it'll need more oomph than just teleporting, to beat time shenanigans.


Overall: 4/10

4 comments:

  1. Space is considered to be like an ocean in popular culture. So is time tho. These guys screwed up.

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  2. Pearls are found in the ocean

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  3. I always imagined it to be the most important pokemon, because it's job was to stop all the crazy shit from escaping the dimension that it trapped the pokeverse in.

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  4. I'd say Dialga has a better design. It looks better than Palkia.

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