No. 862: Obstagoon

Back into the regular numbers

I want to like Obstagoon. I really do. I thought this was a much-needed spice for the Zigzagoon line, and giving a boring generic 2-stage regional rodent a boss 3rd form is a good idea!

Sadly, Obstagoon looks like a dude in a fursuit. The fur on his limbs is SO differentiated from his black body fur, it looks artificial. And something about the proportions is off, at least the legs. This mockup I saw fixes a lot of my issues:

But even that aside, there's something weird about Obstagoon doing his best Gene Simmons impression, while simultaneously trying to convey that he doesn't feel disposed to receive Communion so he'd just like a blessing instead. The mixed signals aren't working for me. I know he was created entirely to give Piers a signature Pokemon, but it could've gone a lot better.

Overall: 4/10

Galarian Linoone

badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom

I was harsh on regular Hoenn-brand Linoone, but I stand by that. Furret already exists, Linoone is redundant. But now that he's in this new style, he's a lot better! It's cool how the fur pattern makes a shooting star trailing from his eye, and the sharp teeth are a nice touch.

He's less subtle about being a badger, but I'll take that over being a subtle piece of shit. Still, something about his proportions bother me. I don't have a good reason for it, maybe I'm subconsciously terrified of his aerodynamic shape.

Overall: 7/10

Galarian Zigzagoon

Ziggy Stardust

Throwing this in the middle of things because we have Obstagoon coming up next, which is a Galar-exclusive evolution for the Zigzagoon line. I'll do so for the others with  regional variants of their early forms, but stuff like Galarian Weezing will be saved for the end.

Anyway, I freaking LOVE Galarian Zigzagoon. I didn't see much purpose in the vanilla version, but this monochromatic little psycho is wonderful. The pink accent colors of his mouth and eyes help him fit in with the Spikemuth aesthetic, and stand out in general from every other Pokemon.

Honestly I think he's a fantastic bundle of energy, and the sharp contrast makes his zig-zag pattern work even better than just shades of brown.

Overall: 10/10

No. 861: Grimmsnarl

wooly bully

See, it was all worth it for this titanic badass. I love the colors, I love the overall proportions, and I love the concept. Hair being used to accentuate his muscles, and as tentacles? That's amazing, keep it up. I especially like the face here, the mouth and fangs look very skull-like is the best way, and his nose & ears have elevated to become like three horns. The animations on this beast are also fantastic, check out the delivery on that lariat!

In a way, this is the beauty of Pokemon. If you showed me Impidimp, I wouldn't want it around. Morgrem was only tolerable because I knew what came next. But even the worst starts can lead into something wonderful.

Just... don't try to imagine the amount of poke-bucks you'd have to spend on hair product every month to keep a Grimmsnarl. 

Overall: 10/10

No. 860: Morgrem

pssht... nuthin personel, kid

In the past I've dogged on Pokemon for being unnecessarily emo, or for having random sections of their body different colors. And while it's true that Morgrem looks as if he just waded through a vat of green paint, it's all part of the transformation to being green and retired in his next evolution. Maybe there could have been, oh I don't know, a gradient or something? to separate the halves? but I'm okay with it.

And I'm also okay with the emo haircut, because again it feeds into the evolving theme - he's becoming a hair monster. And demons are emo or whatever, it tracks. I disapprove of Starraptor's stupid haircut, but on Morgrem it's his entire gimmick so I'll allow it.

That is to say, I'm not the biggest fan of Morgrem and his skinny spaghetti limbs, but I understand this is a natural part of the process.

Overall: 5/10

No. 859: Impidimp

1-900-490-FREAK

This little psycho took forever to get officially revealed. I remember he was in one of the E3 demos, but only as an enemy. Nintendo refused to mention him, they wanted to talk about the new corgi Pokemon instead. Then he showed up during that weird 24-hour mushroom forest marathon stream where they announced Galarian Ponyta, just running around in the background. Again, no official confirmation on whether Impidimp was real or a figment of our collective imaginations.

But finally the truth could be held back no longer, and here we are. Impidimp is real, and honestly I kind of hate him. On some level that feels hypocritical - he's a little dude based on an ambiguous imp/demon, without any of the usual faults I slam these things for aside from a grossly huge head.

idk he just looks freakin' stupid to me. Dumb ass face, tongue all hanging out, weird eyes and too many repeating crescent shapes. I appreciate a bit of design motif, but there's so much of it going on in his head region (and absolutely nothing on the rest of his body, which feels like a total afterthought) that it gets visually confusing. I'm amazed how noisy this design is, for only using 2 main colors

 But mainly I think he looks like an impossible idiot, and not in the fun way. If I was a demon I would feel insulted. (for legal reasons I must make it clear that I am not, currently, a demon)

Overall: 2/10

No. 858: Hatterene

be silent. be still.

Hatterene is a confusing Pokemon. Its entire deal is that if you make a sound in its presence, or even think hostile thoughts, it immediately rips you apart. And yet, this creature mimics a curvy female body.

I do say "mimic" because that's all just hair - the little body you see is the only true self, similar to Hattrem. So what's its goal? To attract horndogs and then obliterate them when they make a single false move? Actually nevermind, that sounds like a noble service.

Mainly I just hope Hatterene can hang out with Gardevoir and Gothitelle and drink wine sometimes. Clearly it's very high-strung and needs to have a girls night out to relax.

Overall: 6/10

No. 857: Hattrem

trans rights!

There's a strange resemblance with Hattrem and Reuniclus - they're both slow Psychics with a tiny "real" body and large "hands" that they can use to beat the shit out of you. Despite then having a low physical Attack.

I like big ol' witch hats, so Hattrem is cool in my book, especially because it slightly resembles a jellyfish at the same time. A jellyfish that's eating a piece of cotton candy? 

Overall: 7/10

No. 856: Hatenna

 shoutouts to Flipnote

Alas, all good things musts come to an end. The run of the last 10 or so Pokemon was about as good a consecutive string of hits as any, but the goodtimes train finally hits the brakes with Hatenna.

Who isn't even bad! Just, not excellent. It looks like a Kirby enemy, and I'm continually surprised to discover that this line isn't Fairy type. But it's a step above most pink blobs (maybe I should be grateful it isn't another pink Fairy gumball) by daring to have TWO colors going on. And its hair are like hands? It's wearing a party hat? It's not much, but I'll take it. There's something happening with this design, at least. It's unique.

Overall: 5/10

No. 855: Polteageist

 I still haven't played Luigi's Mansion 3

What really bugs me about the art for Polteageist is how the cracks on the teapot make it look transparent, as if you can see the ghost-body's outline through the porcelain. Or more like there's a rendering error, which would be really weird for a 2D image. But it's not translucent at all, and in fact you can clearly see through the cracks that Polteageist's body takes up the entire inside of the pot, but still. It's confusing linework, and kind of an amateur mistake to make. Just a simple change in posing (or removing one of the lines) would alleviate the issue.

But that's the only bad thing I can say about this funky fellow. The swirls in the cup have become eyeballs, and that pose is very charming. This was one of the ones I was most excited for, until the leaks revealed the entire dex. And maybe it's just another mono-type defensive Ghost, but sometimes all you need is a warm brew of ectoplasm.

What do you think Polteageist tastes like, anyway? Grape, cuz of the purple coloring? Tea would be obvious, maybe too obvious. I'm thinking it tastes like haunted Dr. Pepper.

Overall: 10/10

No. 854: Sinistea

 WHAT ABOUT MY Lapsang Souchong tea

You know, I forgot we were in England for a while, with all these octopi and centipedes and shit. Sinestea is a good example of "thing Pokemon" that people so often decry, but I love it. Haunted teacup, we Beauty & the Beast now. And check out that latte art swirl on the top!

Only question is... which is the Pokemon? the cup, or the liquid? The cup has a face, but the liquid is also clearly alive if you look at its animations. It's more like a slime that's inhabiting the cup. I think the face is just a coincidence, because there's actually a gimmick where some of the cups are "phony" and others are "antique". You can tell based on a tiny seal that you can only see in the Pokedex view mode. There's no difference in stats, but they take different items to evolve. Somehow I got stuck with a legit one, which is rare, but then I couldn't find any of the evolution items for the longest time...

Overall: 7/10

No. 853: Grapploct

 If an octopus put me in a sharpshooter, I have no idea what I'd do. Die, probably

First things first, this color scheme rocks. Second things second, notice how it only has 3 legs supporting itself? That's cuz the 8th is wrapped around its waist like a belt. Third things third, you'll never guess where Grapploct's mouth is. It's not where you'd think. Go ahead, look it up, I'll wait.

Back? Crazy, isn't it!?

Finally, I have to say Grapploct reminds me of Raiden from King of Fighters.

Also, its signature move Octolock is cool as hell. It locks the opponent from switching out, while also lowering both its defensive stats every turn. Would be cool if it also did recurring damage like Bind, but it's the rare stat-based move that I'll actually use. You're stuck in here with Grapploct for three minutes. THREE MINUTES OF PLAYTIME!!!


Overall: 10/10

No. 852: Clobbopus

 Octolings represent

Last gen, we had a Fighting-type Pokemon based on an aquatic animal, with a boxing motif. Crabrawler was ultimately a disappointment, but I'm happy to report that Clobbopus is not. Maybe it's a little weird to not be Water/Fighting, but we've done that type before so it's not like it would be new, anyway. Plus, there's plenty of turtles that are just Fire, and Krookodile was Ground, so I don't think you need to stick with the inspiration animal's real-life typing.

All of that is to say, Clobbopus is adorable and I wish it showed up earlier in the game, cuz I barely got to know mine before it evolved. But it's an octopus that punches, and I think that's spectacular. No need to even ball up a fist, this one came with the gloves built in.

Overall: 8/10

No. 851: Centiskorch

 I just wanna grill

Imagine having your eyebrows and mustache being on fire, then doing the same thing do your ass because why not. That's Centiskorch, coming or going he'll burn you both ways. I love how nearly reversible this boy is, but actually you'd never mistake which side is up - cuz his underbelly glows like a series of stove tops. Fantastic animation work here.

You know how Fire Blast shoots out that firey 大 kanji? Centiskorch basically has that on its face. This is the kickass shit I live for. I don't even care that he loses to Stealth Rocks, I don't play competitive. I just wreck face on all the in-game trainers with my goddamn flaming grilltop centipede of destruction.

Overall: 10/10

No. 850: Sizzlepede

 look ma, the bacon is cooking itself!

Another line that would've made me hype for the game if Gamefreak had let me know about it beforehand, Sizzlepede looks like an evil hot dog that got run over with a cartoon steamroller. Thing is slim like the new iPhone.

Centipedes are scary in real life, but somehow I've come around to liking them in fiction. I've always liked bugs in general, specifically the entry-level ones like scorpions, stag beetles, and spiders. But maybe it was James & the Giant Peach, or a couple of centipede bosses in Japanese video games, but I'm starting to think these guys kick ass. They're long-ass, edgy caterpillars. Sizzlepede is fine, but I can't wait to get on to his evolution tbh.

Overall: 7/10

No. 849: Toxtricity

 FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK

I love how I can't really tell what sort of animal this is supposed to be. And it's clearly not just a "human" either. Sort of a frog, maybe? But I don't want to know, that's the charm. Maybe I'll write a longer post specifically about this aspect of Pokemon designs that has been lost to time.

Of the two forms, I have to say I prefer the Amped, because yellow/purple is exactly what I think of for Electric/Poison. But Low Key is good, too - the dual mohawks are better than one, and the arrangement of its chesticles is more streamlined. Maybe an idealized version would be the Low Key design but with Amped Up colors?

oh yeah, I should probably say something about how this guy strums those thingies on his chest like his torso is a guitar. It's weird and probably a sex thing, but that's just how Toxtricity rolls. how he Rocks and Rolls, to be precise.

Overall: 10/10

No. 848: Toxel

 baby boy. baby.

Look, I'll be upfront - Toxel and its evolution are my favorite Pokemon in Galar, hands-down. I really wasn't excited for the game, cuz most of the revealed Pokemon were underwhelming, then I saw these little psychopaths in the leaks and I fell in love. So you'll have to forgive me if I sound biased here, but actually it's my freakin' blog so you'll have to ask for my forgiveness if you disagree.

Anyway, Toxel is great because he's just a weirdo electric baby monster. Vaguely reptilian, but mostly an ambiguous monster that you rarely see in Pokemon anymore. Plus, he's Electric/Poison, which is a fresh and radical combination.

I'm on record for vociferous dislike of "baby Pokemon" but I'm okay with this literal baby because he's not a babified version of an existing concept. He's designed like this from the start, and he's perfect in every way. That white electric soul fire on his forehead, like Black Bolt or Tsuna Sawada, is the icing on the cake.

Overall: 10/10

No. 847: Barraskewda

 all points, no quills, no pillows

ok, this one is kinda raw though. Barraskewda is a 4 foot torpedo of a javelin, swimming along at 100 mph and punching holes in boats and whales. The muppet eyes no longer look goofy, they give it a deranged air. That is the face of something with exactly enough brain cells to know how to kill you, and not a single spare.

But what really makes this design, to me, is the tail. It rotates like a propeller, which is such a cool, unnatural movement! I wish static art could convey it.

And its fishbone decals on the side are pointed the right direction, emphasizing speed, unlike Arrokuda. The only thing keeping this from being perfect (and I can't believe I'm responding so positively to what is basically just another random fish) is the color scheme. But that shiny variant? Oh mama.

Overall: 9/10

No. 846: Arrokuda

 Heathcliff was all the time eating this thing out of garbage cans

I was afraid that Arrokuda was created simply to accommodate Cramorant's gimmick, which would be fairly inexcusable - two throwaway slots for the price of decent gag? but Arrokuda is a legit Pokemon of its own, or at least it'll come into its own with its evolution.

But for now, it's just Arrokuda. Pretty much your basic fish, but with a curly Sanji eyebrow of a smile, and big goofy muppet eyes. The problem is that real life barracuda are scary mofos, so a Pokemon version of them has a lot to live up to, and Arrokuda doesn't quite get there. It's still stuck in "generic fish" territory, after all.

Overall: 4/10

No. 845: Cramorant

Poor thing was only created so it could deep-throat a Pikachu, and it knows it.

wait that sounds wrong - Cramorant has a gimmick where when it uses Dive, it emerges with a fish in its mouth, which it then spits at the opponent. That's kinda neat! But rarely, it'll emerge with a Pikachu in its mouth, which it also spits and causes paralysis. I question why Pikachu were diving deep enough to get scooped by mistake, but once you go there you have to question how it can use Dive at all in the middle of the desert, or why fish Pokemon can just hover in mid-air, and it's better to leave it alone.

Still, it's a Pokemon that was created around that gimmick, and that's all it has going for it. This seems to happen a lot with birds - Delibird, Chatot, Oricorio, etc. I'd feel bad for them, but I'm clinically incapable of feeling empathy towards birds.

Overall: 3/10

No. 844: Sandaconda

big ups to Lucky Star

Sandaconda is slightly cool - even though I dogged on Silicobra for sneezing his attacks, Sandaconda looks like a double-barreled shotgun or something. I'm into it. Reminds me of Mr. 4's dog, from the Alabasta arc of One piece.

But once you get past that, there's so much going wrong here. The whole damn snake is backwards, how can it possible move in any direction but roll sideways like this? it's coiled like a spring, but never does anything with that implied elastic tension. It just sits there and sneezes at you.

I dunno, this seems like one of those Pokemon that are just unfortunate. Whether it be Darwin or Arceus, they've evolved into a being that can't possibly function and only exists to suffer for our amusement.

Overall: 2/10

No. 843: Silicobra

guess who's back

   

Silicobra reminds me of a Yo-kai Watch monster. I think it's the eyes. Not in a distractingly bad way, but I'm just saying.

Like Tepig, this one shoots stuff out its nose. I never know what to think about this, cuz I feel like nose-sand would be grosser than if it shot it out of its mouth like a normal freak of nature. But maybe it doesn't matter much in the end? It's still sand (or Fire, in the case of Tepig). It doesn't gain the Snot Element.

But still, use a tissue, yo. Especially these days.

Overall: 4/10

EVEN MORE BETAMONS

GOD DAMN


Thanks to an enormous leak of Nintendo beta builds, they uncovered even MORE beta Pokemon, from an early version of Diamond/Pearl. Unlike the past leaks, hardly any of these are "new" Pokemon - just early designs, or unfinished sprites. Can you guess who everybody here is supposed to be? (shouldn't be that hard)

At this rate, they're discovering new Pokemon faster than I can review the existing canonical ones. That's worrying.

No. 842: Appletun

Nothing more American than apple pie!

Truly the superior Applin evolution, on account of not looking like dogshit, is Appletun. Its ears are actually its eyes, which is weird but kinda fun. I like how "fairy tale" it looks, like something out of a Mother Goose rhyme. And maybe its the pie connection, but Appletun reminds me of Treetrunks from Adventure Time?

I only wish it were a lot bigger, being just the size of a pie itself makes sense but as with all broad, comfy Pokemon, I wish to ride upon them. Just imagine taking a nap on a soft piecrust bed, with that sweet warm smell around you.


Overall: 7/10

No. 841: Flapple

shout-outs to Bakugan

Your Applin finally evolved, and if you're playing Sword then you got this freaky bitch, frantically flapping its wings to stay afloat. I wonder if this concept started as a Dragon who's caught in its shell, but then instead of building the rest of its evolutions they just re-worked it into a possible end for the Applin line. I just find it hard to believe that they had SO MANY good ideas for "apple Pokemon" that they couldn't choose and decided to include both Flapple and Appletun in the game.

Like, maybe if there was another form from here? some sort of cool apple-themed dragon? But this is lowkey insulting as a final evolution.


Overall: 2/10

No. 840: Applin

this is just an Earthbound enemy

There's an alarming number of Dragon pokemon that are really biologically closer to worms. I mean it's just the Goomy line and now this, but that's still about 2 more than I really think should exist.

I know it has this typing for its future forms, but we'll get there. Right now, I just gotta say that no apple has ever looked as delicious as the ones you throw in Pokemon Snap. Shoutouts to the new game coming soon, I can't wait. I hope they include more routes, and ways to upload your photos online to compare with others, and make your own scrapbooks, and of course a ton of new Pokemon, and multiplayer games where you both sit in the "car" and take your best pics like a safari cruise at Disneyworld, and... oh right, this is about Applin.

I don't know, it's a silly little worm in an apple. I guess that's cool. But not really.


Overall: 4/10

No. 839: Coalossal

I fought this guy in Banjo-Tooie

I guess we're done being a speedy wheel, or crazy kart, and it's time to go Full Rhydon. Look, it is what it is. I don't get it either. The last two were kinda dumb, but in a fun way that could be building to something really cool. But Coalossal is... not that.

I mean, for a hunka hunka burnin' kaiju, he's not bad. Beefy boy with a badass head, I love to see the return of the oldschool angry-eyes, and that glowing furnace of a mouth is wonderful. But you know what still scuttles the whole design?


That Marge Simpson hair pile of embers on his head. It's silly enough that Carkol doesn't lose his entire shit when he zips around, but Coalossal is so much more vertical, and walks with the grace of a washing machine. No WAY that coal stack would remain in a perfect pyramid, or wobble around like a tower of jelly.

Honestly, the artwork tones it down a lot and makes it more reasonable. But the in-game model is just... preposterous. Unbalances the design in an awful way.


Overall: 4/10

No. 838: Carkol

I am speed.

Rock/Fire minecart coal Pokemon is a good idea! but holy shit I cannot stop laughing looking at Carkol's face. His eyes are all the way peeled back like he set the thrusters to Ludicrous Speed, my man is dropping coal left and right. He's gonna arrive at the destination freaking empty, especially since his "wheels" aren't even close to round. If this Pokemon existed in real life, Darwin himself would've performed the mercy kill.

but... somehow I can't bring myself to hate Carkol. Maybe it's the way you meet him actually travelling the tracks in the mines, in a rare example of Pokemon placed organically into their environment. Or maybe it's just the cool way he glows up before he attacks.

This is the sort of goofy dude I usually despite, but somehow there is room in my heart for Yung King Cole.

Overall: 5/10

No. 837: Rolycoly

Wear a mask, kids. That's all I'm gonna say.

But let's try to get back on track with this indeterminate lump. Thank God I know what the 3D model looks like, or I would have severe difficulty parsing this artwork. It looks like a Voltorb after he blew up, and lost an eyeball. Now he's sad.

However, with the context of the next evolutions, I think that's supposed to be an angry eye instead, and in fact is his entire head. Dude zooms around on a unicycle wheel, getting soot everywhere and ruining everything.

I think we need more cyclopses (cyclopes?) in Pokemon, though, so I'll give Rolycoly the benefit of the doubt. Also his name is fun to say.


Overall: 5/10

MORE Betamons

So apparently they found ANOTHER early build of Gold/Silver, with even more Betamon designs! Some completely original ones, some early versions of existing ones, and some earlier versions of beta designs that ended up being cut anyway!



That's Celebi in the top middle, by the way. Looking like a desiccated corpse.

I'll wait for people to unpack everything and create some appropriate artwork, but I definitely intend to take a look at these peeps, too!

No. 836: Boltund

Remember that Bolt movie from Disney? me neither

Unfortunately, Boltund doesn't manage to look badass enough to be truly "cool", or remain cute enough to work that way, either. It's got a doofy look on its face, and doesn't even resemble any specific breed anymore. It's just a generic dog, but with a crazy-go-nuts coloration pattern.

I think it's especially weird that the spots around its eyes now have hard lines, instead of the soft fade of Yamper.


Overall: 4/10

No. 835: Yamper

from the people who brought you Wocket in my Pocket comes Yamper in my Camper

another cutie! Corgis were a meme dog for a while, (though not as much as the legendary doge) but I'm not gonna take points away for that. While Electrike fills the same niche and aimed to be a generic weirdo dog-thing, Yamper tries to resemble a specific breed and does so pretty well. I like how its ruff sparks out when it attacks, too.

Not the goodest boy ever, but still a good boy.


Overall: 7/10

No. 834: Drednaw

Friend of All Children!

Drednaw almost gets it. It's so damn close. I love its shell and horn, they look rugged with bumpy linework that we hardly ever see these days. The overall shape is solid, it has potential for the classic Venusaur or Rhyhorn energy of just being a big fat bastard who stomps his way through anything. And even the name is boss - DREDNAW

and yet... and yet............ that face. Ok, the mouth is cool, and the cheeks are fine even! It's really just the eyes. Now tell me, what the hell kind of shape is that for an eyeball? If it was just flattened off, or a smooth slope, or better yet that classic triangular eye, we'd be all set. But instead, it's a baffling "5/8ths of a pizza" shape. And then the arbitrary line that doesn't have any definition so it can't represent a fold or a contour, it's just a holdover unibrow line that gets broken by the horn so it's not even a unibrow anymore. It's pointless and distracting.



I don't often do this, because my job is to critique, not fix. But in this case the fix is SO simple and goes SO far, I can't resist.


Overall: 5/10 (would be a 9/10 with the fix)

No. 833: Chewtle

what is it with this generation and improbably large heads

When I first saw this guy I had to do a double-take. Is his head really that big? Or is it just a perspective thing, maybe he's got a long neck and his head is reaching out far. But no, that is just a huge noggin.

And I hate it. Chewtle can't even retract its head into its shell, the #1 calling card ability of all turtles. Its body is so small, I can't believe it wouldn't topple over immediately under the weight of its own oversized dome. The unibrow isn't doing him any favors, either. Dude looks like a grade-A dunce.

As is becoming a refrain - we've seen turtles before. Many times, in fact. Does the 8th gen spin offer anything new? In this case, it only offers us shit.


Overall: 1/10

No. 832: Dubwool

Dubwool, dubwool toil and troubwool; fire burn, and cauldron bubwool


Somewhat disappointingly, after Wooloo was a wonderful little sheep, Dubwool is just a bigger sheep that lost all the charm. I don't like that its horns are obscured by its neck fur, they look like extra random spikes coming out of its armpits like Mamoswine's tusks. and I associate that color pattern with cows, not sheep.

see, I know I shouldn't be putting my own expectations ahead of reality here, but I kinda hoped it would evolve into a Steel Wool type Pokemon, y'know? Although the regional bird is already Steel, so maybe that would've been overkill.


Overall: 5/10

No. 831: Wooloo

Ducktales!


WOOLOO IS CUTE! CUTE!!!

Whew, sorry, had to get that out of my system. There's not much establishing Wooloo as anything other than a normal cartoon sheep, I'll admit. As opposed to Mareep, which established itself as being Electric-type by being blue and having a crystal ball on the end of its tail. But Wooloo is simply a Normal type, so it doesn't really have to do much of anything besides roll around and look cute.

And brother, lemme tell you, it does both of those things very well. Sometimes, round and cute is all you need.

Come to think of it, between Wooloo and Eldegoss, that's a one-two punch of comfy critters. Galar has access to both the highest-quality cotton and wool, so that explains their plentiful clothing options. If only they had native silk production.


Overall: 10/10

No. 830: Eldegoss

the question is, will Eldegoss shrink in the wash?

Whimsicott was not enough, we have to take another stab at this cotton thing, and surprisingly I'm here for it. I gotta say that I love the way Eldegoss's cotton is drawn, with the soft coloring and broken lines. It has a very sketchy feeling to it, one we haven't seen in Pokemon drawings in a long time.

It looks like Roselia mixed with Swadloon, with of course that huge cotton ball on its head. Nothing related to its previous form, which I approve of, because that one sucked. But I like how it looks like it's got a big brain, or gigantic hairdo. I know cotton is light, which is why the design doesn't feel unbalanced. And its eyes slightly resemble the seeds, which is a neat touch.


Overall: 6/10

No. 829: Gossifleur

Remember that one Looney Toon named Gossamer? What the hell was that about, anyway?

So when Gossifleur was first revealed, I thought it was some sort of pepper. The red, green, and yellow. The curved shapes. The fact that everyone and their mother has been imagining a Grass/Fire hot pepper Pokemon for decades now.

And instead, as you'll see tomorrow, it's related to the cotton plant. I don't care enough to look up what a baby cotton plant looks like, but if it looks like a peck of pickled peppers I'll go berserk. I hate this.


Overall: 2/10

No. 828: Thievul

Swiper, no swiping!

Again, there's nothing overtly wrong with Thievul. The tail-as-a-bag gimmick is gone, but we have a full-on mask and mustache instead. And at the end of the day, it's just a fancy fox.

I wish it had a bigger mustache, though. Give me man something to really twirl, a full Salvador Dali or Snidely Whiplash. but again, I can't hate.


Overall: 5/10

No. 827: Nickit

Let's be honest, at this point the most surprising thing this blog could do is to begin posting regularly. Happy April Fools.

We've done foxes before with Vulpix and Zorua, so is this a well worth plumbing a third time? Well, aside from having the proportions common to modern starters, Nickit is fine. It's just a fox, whose tail kinda looks like a big sack of loot. Not trying to rock the boat.

I like the facial markings, and how much personality it's showing. That's about as much as I can say, "sly fox thief" is like easy mode when it comes to mashing up themes.


Overall: 10/10







okay, okay. I'm kidding. Had to get at least one in there!

Overall: 5/10

No. 826: Orbeetle

where my Mecha fans at, we eating good tonight

This thing has Getter Robo eyes, Victory V Gundam crests, and hits a Gunbuster pose when it attacks. It's the most mecha Pokemon ever, and it's not even a Steel type. I love it.

Orbeetle looks a bit awkwardly put together, both in this artwork and in its model, but the way its limbs are just dangling from the main body somehow works. Hovering like a UFO, opening up its wings and all the spots glowing with Getter Ray Energy, I fully expect it to launch an Itano Circus barrage of missiles.

Who's Ledian? never heard of 'im


Overall: 10/10

No. 825: Dottler

Dottler Doclittle

I may have spoken too soon about those eyeballs going away - you can still kinda see them on Dottler, but the effect is muted because you only see the lower half. They mostly just register as glowing eyes.

Speaking of which, it's neat how Dottler's spots light up in its animations. Bug/Psychic is a fresh combination, I applaud Gamefreak for doing something for the regional bug besides Flying or Poison. Also, notice those V's return as... hands? whiskers? Who cares, just jot that down for later.

So, overall I'm positive about Dottler, but there's something about it that doesn't sit right. It doesn't feel like a Pokemon, but instead more like a Super Mario Galaxy enemy. That's a very specific and weird comparison, I know, but I'm a specifically weird guy. idk, something about it looks as if it comes from another game entirely.

so I'll just roll Dottler like a d20 to decide the rating


Overall: 16

No. 824: Blipbug

👀

I well and truly hate this stupid thing. Dumb ass aspect ratio stretched out head, eyeballs permanently looking down and to the side, why would any loving Arceus create such a foul creature? it can't even reach the ground with all its legs because its head is too big.

I do note that the V theme going on will be continued, but thankfully nothing else of this wretched abomination carries over through the rest of the line.


Overall: 1/10

No. 823: Corviknight

You, you! Me me Pickle Pee! Me, me Pump-a-rum!
I don't know what brave soul decided that the regional birds should just NOT suck and instead be awesome, but I want to shake their hand. Ever since Gen 6 it's been a home-run each time. Corviknight is sick as hell.

I love how he's almost entirely one color. It's the sort of design choice they would make due to sprite limitations in the past, but now it's done purposefully. And it works! Corviknight looks menacing with those obsidian wings and black armored face. With the piercing red eyes (which don't extend past his eyesockets, thank god) daring anyone to step to him.

It's funny that such a badass bird is used as a common taxi, but whatever. That doesn't diminish Corviknight's threatening aura.


Overall: 10/10

No. 822: Corvisquire

We're all lucky that this Pokemon came out before the pandemic hit, or else the online would be flooded with shitty COVID-pun names

I wish they'd worked in another chess pun to fit the Rook and Knight names. And, yes, still the eyeball issue. But somehow, this one works better? I read it like he has eyeglasses, which is cute.

And besides that, Corviquire is one handsome bird! What a gallant profile, fluffy chest (take notes Greedent) and powerful talons. I think this is the most I've liked a middle-stage bird since Pidgeotto? He just looks cool!


Overall: 8/10